Papa-Kenji... Please No More
by Towel
Summary: It all started with the death of their mother, and continued until it exploded with Usagi being horribly abused by her father. Exploded literally. What happens when Shingo decides that enough is enough and takes his father's life? An insane and disturb
1. Chapter 1

NAME: Towel (8/25/01-9/6/01)  
  
E-MAIL: MoonTowel18@msn.com  
  
TITLE: Papa-Kenji, Please No More  
  
RATED: PG (if not then let me know otherwise)  
  
NOTE: Just a little thing I thought up following between my Sailor Moon Core story that's really an issue with a lot of families. I hope whoever likes it. Okay if you have problems with men liking men (roll eyes) then like don't read this. Although, I really wouldn't see why considering nobody's REAL here. But we all like to think that in the Sailor Moon world though don't we!? At first this was just a one-part story. Then I got to class and made it longer. Okay whatever! Just READ! Hehehehehe. Oh yeah suggestion. The music of choice: "Gone" by Madonna on the "Music" CD album. For me at least it fitted the story.  
  
DISCLAIMER: Sailor Moon 1992-2001 is Naoko's, Kodansha, you know all this mess.  
  
THANKS: Naoko  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Papa-Kenji, Please No More~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Starke night on the eve of summer…  
  
Shingo cringed deep in the covers of his bed as he once again was hearing the shocking surprising cries that sounded like howls from the bellow of a wolf. A wolf from his nightmares that come to haunt him and do awful things to him. The little twelve year old held his covers so tight, his poor sadden eyes ablaze glowing in the darkness of his bedroom. The glowing glaring red digits of his alarm clock seem to scream "4:37" at him as if passively on time.  
  
And from the room up the hall…  
  
SPU-WACK! Following that another muffled wolf cry.  
  
Shingo tightened his teary eyes and cowered down deeper into this covers holding himself so tightly feeling like he was the only one in the world alive that felt this pain and horror.  
  
Too many times, he would scream in his head. This has been happening too many times. Usagi-chan wasn't that bad! So why was she always in trouble at night!?  
  
Shingo often blamed this situation on himself. After their mother's death his father wasn't the same. More demanding with a crazy wildness in his eyes that was just frightening to Shingo. And just two month… all this started, a few weeks after Shingo's mother's death. The late-night early morning cries of his sister Usagi from up the hall.  
  
Why was this happening!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? What's WRONG with Papa-Kenji!? Why did he keep hurting Usagi and not Shingo? Usagi was a scatter-bird brain a lot. She didn't make perfect grades, but… this was just ridiculous!  
  
Shingo felt like he'd lost his father. While he was gone Shingo would sneak into Usagi's room where she seem to stay day and night after school and on weekends. Shingo would come to comfort her, and ask her what was going on. Why was Papa-Kenji doing these awful things? One day Usagi was about to let loose on her twelve-year-old brother and tell him everything, but she turned it all around. Saw him as a child and left it at that.  
  
And so continued the haunting nightmares Shingo endured. He knew his nightmares couldn't be as worst as Usagi's. And he didn't want to feel like a child no more and be ignored. He wanted his sister more than anything. Now that his mother was gone, and literally his father (gone in the head) Shingo felt like Usagi was his only family now.  
  
Another sparking snap and muffled cry rang out spinning the cranes in Shingo's tender frightened bones. It seemed like no matter how hard he tried to squeeze into the depths of his sheets he wouldn't disappear. Just wasn't!  
  
Heat was consuming him. Heat, fear, and anger. Swallowing him.  
  
No more! He couldn't deal with it anymore!  
  
Suddenly Shingo rose up out of bed sharply ignoring all the feelings and aches and pains he had and stride out of the room. His thin boyish legs stretched out and his face covered in sweat. Shingo's eyes narrowed down in their green screening, and out he charged from his room and immediately felt himself hook a right toward his parents' once room but now just his fathers.  
  
The kid didn't know what he was doing. Only that he was doing something. Something dangerous. He knew that for sure. It was dangerous and he was going to get it done. He was going to reshape everything! He wasn't going to take anymore. He didn't need his father but he needed his sister. So he was going to put an end to the whole situation at hand and at the same time reduce this now careless soul from his life.  
  
Shingo pushed open his parents bedroom door seeing it sat dry in darkness except for one small nightstand light that revealed only the tiniest of showering light. Enough light for Shingo to see yet another familiar set of beer cans, cigarettes, and paper scattered everywhere. This kind of thing was everywhere in the house now. No surprise.  
  
In the doorway Shingo paused a little breathing deeply. Every time he saw this room he remembered his mother. He remember those scared nights like these he would jump between his parents in bed-  
  
"No!" he suddenly shouted aloud closing his eyes and covering his ears as if he didn't want to remember. He didn't. It was just too strong for him, and just as he found himself somehow weaken to take action the feelings went away and once again he frowned upward and moved on into the room stepping over beer cans toward his parents' closet.  
  
He pulled the closet open and hit the light switch. The closet lit up and the first place Shingo focused his determined green eyes was on the several shoeboxes lining the top left shelf.  
  
The boy wasn't ignorant at all. He knew what he came there for and he knew exactly where it was.  
  
Shingo moved onward into the walk in closet toward the back. The smell of liquor and weed burning at his nose.  
  
Standing on his toes he trifled through the boxes on the end of the shelf until he came across the "Red One." He tugged the box from its post and held the sudden heaviness of the box in both hands as he lowered it toward the floor of the closet.  
  
Taking a deep breath Shingo pulled off the top and there it was.  
  
His eyes gleamed.  
  
The shiny Colt Python his parents owned. He took the heavily deadly weapon in his mind. Wait… what mind? Shingo was long gone at this point. The one driving the mind of this twelve year old was anger and revenge.  
  
Loading in several bullets Shingo stood up quickly a little startled still by the weight of the gun but still able.  
  
And so… he moved on toward Usagi's room barefoot dragging along the shaggy carpeting. Down the hall under Usagi's door was a soft, yet dangerous, warm glowing light and the continual sounds heard over and over again. Shingo managed to make it the door and shakeningly touch the knob.  
  
He jerked away as if being electrocuted warning him not to do this, but he shook it off and reached for the knob again this time taking it in his full grasp and twisting it. Slowly he opened it showering a deadly glow into the hallway from Usagi's room. The first thing he saw was Usagi crying in a ball on her bed. A battered Usagi holding her covers naked and completely violated even to Shingo's young eyes. Shingo ignored her for that second and opened the door wider until it reveal his father at the foot of the bed just throwing his slack-pants on over his wiry body.  
  
The large man copped an eye on Shingo then the gun and started to reach but stopped as Shingo slowly lifted the heavy weapon aimed right at his kaput father.  
  
Usagi suddenly screamed which didn't scramble Shingo's thoughts at all. Shingo kept focus traumatized of course.  
  
Papa-Kenji lifted up his glasses and smiled innocently at the frightened twelve year old. Usagi screamed for Shingo to stop and even made a move to stop him, her growing pale naked womanly figure lifting up before her brother. But Usagi knew better, she thought Shingo was after her too and would gladly praise him to end her life even after fifteen years.  
  
"Well son," spoke the "demon" in questioning for the following proceedings.  
  
Shingo pulled the trigger and that was all it was to this awful game.  
  
BLAM!  
  
Shingo jumped and jumped and jumped hopping to have jumped out of a dream! He closed his eyes waiting for his father to still be alive and to hold him and tell him everything was going to be all right. That nothing was going on. Shingo prayed that everything was a dream! A DREAM! That his mother never died! That he'd wake up and his parents would be standing over his head comforting him! Shingo prayed prayed prayed when-  
  
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"  
  
Thrown aback Shingo opened his eyes, saw his father sprawled face down drenching Usagi's carpet in blood, and felt sick to his stomach as he dropped the revolver. The revolver hit the floor with a THUMP resonance one beat before Shingo's heart as he just stared as his father.  
  
Wrapped in a bloody sheet Usagi cried out standing on her thin legs as she looked down at her father's fallen body.  
  
Usagi kept screaming. Crying, pulling her hair out in panic!  
  
Shingo… he remained quiet staring at the body for a second. And when he spoke, he didn't lift away his eyes.  
  
"I did it for you Usagi!" he screeched. "For you!"  
  
"No! No! No! No! No! Nonononononononononononon!" Usagi responded.  
  
Shingo just stared. He killed his father. Well a man who once was his father.  
  
A panicking Usagi dropped down, picked up the revolver and looked at Shingo with an odd teary conflagration in her eyes. Usagi lifted a hand and struck Shingo sharply across the face waking the poor boy up but not to realize that she meant it in his foolhardiness. Usagi was angry but she knew it was HER fault. ALL her fault. She'd put the responsibility of ending her nightmares on her twelve-year-old brother. It was all Usagi's fault she felt. She didn't tell anyone! She didn't tell anyoneeeeeeeeeeeee! And now this! Her dad could've been HELPED!  
  
Shingo and Usagi looked at each other eyes. Both ravaged once healthy kids.  
  
"Get dressed," she hissed. Shingo just stood and looked at her. "GO!" she roared pushing him out of her room and slamming the door in his poor face. Usagi reacted wrongly once again. Shingo was just as afraid as she was and she was pushing him away.  
  
Standing in front of the door Shingo explained once again that he had no choice and started crying rubbing his eyes as he patted off toward his room. Shingo hit the switch and moved on toward his clothes wondering all along what Usagi was up to. What did she have planned? They were leaving that was obvious. But now… could Usagi take care of him? Could just the two of them make it now? The way he wanted it to be but not exactly with two dead parents.  
  
"Oh god," Shingo choked as he just stared at his clothes settled in his drawer. "Both of my parents… dead."  
  
And so… the twelve year old boy crouched into a ball and let loose his tears apprehending everything all too well now.  
  
First his mother was killed while driving home and now his own hands killed his father.  
  
Shingo cried for what seemed like hours eventually leading him back to his bed where he tried to sleep away the hellish nightmare.  
  
It wasn't until Usagi came barging through the door in a rush did he move and once again Usagi started to demand and order, demand and order. Pushing and rushing Shingo ahead until he was dressed. The kids threw several of their belongings and clothes into book bags. And just before Shingo left his room he moved over toward his nightstand and took the picture of his family in his hands. He stared at his. His mother, his healthy father, his sister, and himself.  
  
Maybe we can go live with Grandma and Grandpa, he thought to himself.  
  
Usagi grabbed his arms and pulled.  
  
Just as the two hit the downstairs landing came the swirling lights and sirens of the Tokyo Police force.  
  
Usagi began to lose her nerves but managed to hold on at some point as she moved from the front door escape to the back holding her brother's hand tightly. They had to go! This wasn't their home anymore and all the tears they had… well… they had to hold them.  
  
Usagi threw open the back door and her and Shingo dashed off into the night on that summers eve not quite knowing where they were going. But Usagi had a dream, if anything she'd like to escape to America.  
  
Empty.  
  
That's how the home of the once happy-hearted Tsukino residence was. Dead and empty. Turned to stone. Lost faith. Stopping somewhere in the drifts of time.  
  
The Tokyo Police had got the report by the neighbors claiming there was gunfire going off and a lot of awful screaming.  
  
And in he stepped. Detective Chiba Mamoru.  
  
"Well what do we have here?" he asked upon approaching the room full of detective, paramedics, and cops. Down on the roughed ness of the carpet was a body obvious, covered in a sheet by the paramedics on arrival.  
  
Mamoru removed the yellow toothpick from his mouth and stepped back in his sharp flashy black suit stepping next to a fellow partner, lover, and best friend Motoki who was in opposing dressy old-fashion brown.  
  
"A body," the blond Motoki replied. Then he turned toward the crew at hand. "Let's show detective Mamoru what we got here."  
  
The crewman dusting for prints nodded and pulled the sheet off to the torso of body which was still face down. Mamoru didn't flinch. Seen it all before. Someone amidst the crowd in the small room took a snap shot of the body. A brown headed man with glasses, pale as ever and slim.  
  
A body… Mamoru repeated in his head then started eyeing the room asking Motoki questions.  
  
Motoki followed Mamoru explaining. "Apparently a little boy and girl live here. Both disappeared. The murder weapon can't be found but there is the bullet. Maybe we can get some prints from it. We're looking at a murder and kidnap here."  
  
Mamoru shook his head disagreeing and wrenched up his nose as he looked at the posters on the wall of the girls' room. Mina Spears fan he saw. Mamoru took a few more steps around the room with Motoki following as they conversant about the matters at hand. It was a picture of the young female owner of the room that caught Mamoru's eyes. The picture was taped on the mirror, a small tiny snapshot. It was a young pretty girl Mamoru noticed first. Very attractive but not his "type," and too young. She had large sweet blue eyes and long blond hair worn in buns and pigtails.  
  
It kind of quivered inside Mamoru to wonder why in the world would the girl keep a picture of her lone self posted on her mirror along with the several others of her friends and family. He shrugged it off, not really liking the idea of looking at a picture of himself and no one else.  
  
And with that Mamoru reached to pull the picture from the mirror. Motoki caught his warm hands in mid reach and the two men eyed each other passionately as usual but at this scenario determined.  
  
"What're doing Mamoru? This is a crime scene," persisted Motoki in a low voice.  
  
Mamoru narrowed his dark almond shape eyes and felt the worries on Motoki's young handsome face finding himself so mesmerized and slowly curving a smile.  
  
"You worry too much Motoki," Mamoru answered. "It'll be okay just this once. Let's leave the chief out of this."  
  
Motoki and Mamoru eyed each other both grinning, Mamoru brushing a soft hand against Motoki's redden cheeks. And naturally Mamoru walked away with the picture in hand studying it. Learning every curvature of it. The young girl. Mamoru had to find her. This link… this feeling inside of him was telling him something.  
  
As Mamoru left out he ordered one of the crime scene crewmen to give him a full autopsy report on his desk the next morning. In the meantime Mamoru's mind was on soaking in a nice warm bath with candlelight.  
  
Usagi tried over and over again to wipe away the tears but they came back over and over again like a dripping faucet. She bent her thin body over the cold porcelain sink and looked at her deep swallowed eyes in the large mirror of the ladies washroom of the nearest all-night café.  
  
Behind her behind a closed stall stood Shingo. His head leaning against the door of the stall also tracing a teary atmosphere. Both, broken-hearted and afraid as ever. A couple of kids feeling lost with nowhere to go.  
  
Usagi continued to mumble at herself as she wiped fiercely at the tears. Telling herself it was all her fault and that she should die. Die! Die! Die! Her mind tore at her from inside.  
  
I wish you were DEAD, she screamed silently hoping all to cleverly at Shingo couldn't read her awful thoughts. He was the only reason she was still alive. She didn't want to give up on him. She didn't want him away from her. He was her treasure now, Shingo was too important now. No longer a young boy, but a grown man before his ages with responsibilities that were what seemed inevitable from a bland darkness.  
  
Usagi on the other hand felt like a coward. A stupid ignorant little girl who knew better. Who knew that her father's sexual molestations and physical abuse was wrong! A girl who was taught ALL these things and now is near death because of her stupidity. Her stupidity not to speak. To have hold it all in and because a distant dark creature. Someone who couldn't smile.  
  
Usagi's fault! That's all it felt like. If only she'd told someone and didn't dump her rotten vibes on her sibling to allow him to take action. Proud that he cared so much about her, but sickened to learn he was smarter and "older" than herself.  
  
"Sis, don't cry anymore," Shingo plead in a low sob-choked voice. "We'll be okay."  
  
Without her knowing herself Usagi nodded looking down at the drain in the sink then patted the rough paper towel against her puffy eyes.  
  
For you Shingo, she kept to herself. For you. I'm so sorry. All those times you came to talk to me. I… I was so rotten to you. I thought you wouldn't understand because you were so young. But now… you're a man Shingo and I deprived EVERY single right from you.  
  
Usagi wiped her eyes and sniffed once more reaching into her jeans left pocket. She had to count their money again. She'd took the money from their parents hidden insurance case. She'd took her father's money. She brought her own. She brought every coin she could think of that would be lying in the house. And as she looked at the roll of monies she knew they'd have enough to last them awhile. But as far as her dreams to escape to America. It would take a miracle. She didn't have THAT much.  
  
Usagi felt like her throat was closing again as she began to stuff the monies back away into her left pocket. Time for her to feed her and Shingo. Immediately once they entered the café they ran to the washrooms to look "decent" despite their rush.  
  
BHAM! The washroom door flung open. Usagi yelped and turned harshly her hip banging roughly into the sink echoing pain up to her head. A sputtered tear slipped down her right eye and her blood raced. That rush of the door opening...  
  
FLASH!  
  
Shingo firing the gun, her father falling, her screaming, and the echoing of darkness.  
  
Usagi tighten her eyes closed to stop the visions and stop the tears then released them of their tight hold letting out a deep breath and watched as a tall brunette dressed in leather tight pants, a bikini black top and leather jacket with biker gloves and heavy chained combat boots came looming into the washroom with a group of three carbon copying dressed girls following.  
  
The tall brunette's greens eyes flashed once at Usagi. Usagi looked away keeping the face as a mental profile. The scar across the girl's left eye. Her wavy/curly brown hair she wore in a ponytail. The girl looked like bad news and Usagi didn't want her to get involved with her own horrible situations. Usagi didn't want to add on the tension and unease feeling of death creeping on her.  
  
"Hey check it out," one of the girls' following the brunette pointed out Usagi.  
  
Usagi felt sick. Why? Oh why did this have to happen to her? Why now!?  
  
The brunette eyed Usagi up and down then smirked. Usagi prayed that that was all she'd do, and it seemed so, the brunette turned to head toward a stall but then stopped turning slowly to look back at Usagi.  
  
Usagi's hands tightened around the porcelain-chilling sink as the tall girl came stepping in front of her. The tall girl looked down at Usagi's hands, Usagi followed her gaze and realized that that was what the girl was pointing to. The roll of monies Usagi held.  
  
The blond took a deep breath prepared to defend her brother and their only means of survival.  
  
The brown-headed girl looked deep into Usagi's eyes. Her green eyes like a blade of caution against Usagi's sweetened worn blue ones. The brown-headed girl cocked a smile throwing her hands on her hips and asked…  
  
"So what's your name kid?"  
  
Usagi noticed the deepness in the girl's voice and the deepness of the other three girls moving in blocking Usagi's exit.  
  
Maybe they'll leave me alone! Usagi hoped. Please just leave me alone!  
  
And so Usagi responded with a meek: "Usagi."  
  
"That's nice," the brown-headed girl commented dryly then threw her right hand fingers against her bare collarbone. "Mines is Makoto and these are my girls," she gestured toward the other girls behind her.  
  
Makoto eyed the roll of monies. "That yours?"  
  
Usagi forced a nod not sure whether she should respond with a "yes" or "no" in the first place.  
  
Makoto continued, "Well I need my nails done so I'll just take that," and reached grabbing Usagi's wrist, which held the hand that held the monies.  
  
Usagi resisted crying for the taller, stronger girl to release her. The other three girls began to close in closer as they snickered and push into Usagi, began to claw at Usagi's with their bitter nails. Toying with the weaken blond who's life was the absolute of hell. The blond who'd lived the crash that destroyed her mother and watched her mother's body go from alive to lifeless before her very eyes. The blond who felt her father take his manhood inside his very own flesh and blood. Who'd felt the stricken pain of the palms of one she thought was her beacon of safety. The blond who felt hell and wasn't old enough to experience what it really had to offer as she grew but was took bluntly to a level near the edge. An edge which wouldn't allow her to simply jump and end the entire controversy.  
  
So the girls laugh and picked like crows on garbage at Usagi but Usagi refused to let go of the monies even as the Makoto girl hollered words of the damned in Usagi's face and jerked and jerked and jerked at Usagi and squeezed her. Usagi only cried and began to scream feeling her father's hands on her again. Hurting her. A million of his hands. And the devil laughing. She felt herself begin halted up on top of the sink. Felt the girls began to pull at her shirt and run their hands up her shirt, touching her, rubbing her, violating her like the one person she trusted. Touching her in the wrong spots. And she couldn't scream, there was still that one hand. That one hand always there that silenced her never-ending. That horrible hand that kept her from telling. That horrible hand that remained over her mouth for so long and wouldn't allow her to escape.  
  
The swirling redness. The heat. The girls touching her, laughing, hurting her, and nibbling at her. The heat. Usagi felt swallowed and began to go limp. She couldn't handle it. Couldn't take it anymoreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!  
  
"STOP ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!"  
  
Then it stopped. Everything paused. Usagi… crying wet face. Eyes closed tight. Monies still held tight in her hand.  
  
Was she saved?  
  
She felt the hands remove themselves from her breast, from inside of her jeans, from her thighs, from her arms, from her mouth. Everything, the hands began to eradicate themselves releasing her. Her heavy breathing. Her constricted eyes. The clearing of the hand wrapped around her wrist.  
  
And slowly… the deteriorated blond opened her eyes to find a shattered wet-faced familiar twelve year old position the barrel of a revolver aimlessly back and forth between the gang of rape raven girls who held their hands up as if being held up by the police.  
  
"Move it!" screeched Shingo mouth throttled with slob. "Move it or I'll blow all you damn bitches to hell!"  
  
Usagi blinked regardless of her total discomfort. Her brother, cursing. Then she remember… Shingo wasn't a kid any longer… he was a man.  
  
"Boy I'd stomp your lil'ass," Makoto taunted only to have Shingo press the revolver in closer to her. Makoto then held off and snapped her finger. The girls began to exit giving the siblings a lot to think about and fear and a semi caress of relief. But as the girls moved out Makoto stopped before Usagi, looked at the monies and reached a hand to slap the poor girl… but Makoto stopped and her eyes soften as she looked at the quivering splintering youth and felt a small relation. Both were… lost.  
  
Slowly Makoto lowered her hand and smirked again. With that the tall brunette was out with a bang of the door.  
  
Usagi sighed deeply dropping her feet to the floor and snatching the revolver from Shingo.  
  
"I only tried to-" Shingo explained but Usagi stopped him and held a finger against his lips to silence him. She kissed his forehead.  
  
"Thank you so much Shingo," she thanked softly smile less. "Just please don't ever use this thing." Then she added dreadfully: "Again."  
  
Shingo, so believing and hopeful but not aware of his lost nodded determined and proud at his sister and himself. "I won't let anybody try to get us."  
  
Usagi felt herself wanting to cry again. The burdens were too strong but instead she threw the "man" into a hug and held him for so long and told him how much she loved him.  
  
"Let's get something to eat now," Usagi suggested leading the boy carefully outside the washroom.  
  
The two sat down at a booth and ate silently but both wanting to speak. It wasn't until the sun began to rise that Shingo had crawled over to lay his head in Usagi's lap where he drifted off to sleep while Usagi stroked his tan hair.  
  
Usagi continued to talk to herself and continued to avoid the eyes of those who stared. Usagi tried to figure out what to do. What was next? But she was too confused that she found herself… sleep… at least in dreams she might find some… peace…  
  
  
  
Oh my god people!? So how was it!? Was it stupid? Pointless? Or too much to have the Sailor Moon people/characters apart of? Hehehehehehe, joking. Please let me know what you think, I think that'd be SO awesome to know what people feel about my little fanfic! If you hated it, why you hated it? Liked it, why you liked it? Flame me even! I mean, I figured I might get some anyway about Makoto, Kenji, and of course Mamoru and Motoki. Hahahahah, hey anyway let me know. 


	2. Chapter 2

NAME: Towel (9/6/01 – 9/12/01)  
  
E-MAIL: MoonTowel18@msn.com  
  
TITLE: Papa-Kenji, Please No More  
  
RATED: PG  
  
NOTE: Chapter 2 of my latest fanfic next to Sailor Moon Core. Last chapter was what started it all. Shingo killin' is dad. Usagi being a madhouse. Okay we all know that story if we're reading this now. Thanks for the e-mails, didn't know I was suppose to get professional here and sorry for not following the "rule book." Oww, my tooth hurts and I got class in another hour and thirty minutes so before I run I'm gonna try to get a little done here. I'm sooooooo sleepy! Few days later Welll… apparently I'm too lazy to reread this only spell check it. Sorry. Music of choice: Christina Aguilera "Our Day Will Come."  
  
DISCLAIMER: Sailor Moon 1992-2001. Naoko Takeuchi. Kondansha Ltd. And Toei Animation.  
  
THANKS: Naoko  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Papa-Kenji, Please No More~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Snazzy, sharp, heart-stopping detective Mamoru stepped into the Tokyo City police station dark shades covering his almond sky-blue eyes, his shiny black hair loose and spiked up for the twenty-four year old man he was. Suit dark like the man in black he was despite the early summer heat making him look as cool and chilling, as ice down someone's bare smooth back. His shoes as shiny as dark diamonds and his fast as soothing as a baby's no matter the mansion of age.  
  
The handsome detective kept his hands stuck in his pockets and looked over the entrance scene of the police station from the doorway and immediately felt like he was dropped home in a pile of his friends at the station. The new hardcore detective ready to jump on the ball and solve is latest obsession case.  
  
"Detective Mamoru good morning," greeting the officer at the door.  
  
Slipping off his shades catching a gleaming shine in his teeth, Mamoru smiled and nodded then with a grin continued toward his office. Detective Mamoru made his path, weaving and greeting his fellow co-workers at the precinct with hand waves and a mouth-dropping movie star smile and looks.  
  
It wasn't until Mamoru moved toward the snack room when he noticed someone he'd forever loved to intertwine with. And there he was, another soothing piece of eye-candy. A blond about Mamoru's height and a month behind on a birthday dressed in brown as usual compensating toward Mamoru's usual black. The blond had his back turned to his Mamoru and didn't appear to give revenge toward turning following Mamoru's vibes. Early morning kinkiness split through Mamoru's heart as he tried softly to move in on his prey biting back a laugh but keeping it cool.  
  
Mamoru got close enough and wrapped his large arms around the blond's waist startling the blond into nearly spill his tiny paper cup of coffee. The blond, Motoki, smiled and fell safely into the grasp given by Mamoru.  
  
Mamoru rested his chin on Motoki's left shoulder and eyed Motoki with delight as he wrapped his arms deep around Motoki's waist as if never to let go.  
  
"Morning kiddo," Mamoru said lowly in a soothing sexy voice deliberately rustling his breath against Motoki's bare sensitive neck.  
  
"Morning," replied Motoki grinning and holding steadily onto his cup of coffee as Mamoru rubbed his hands over Motoki's hand holding the steaming brown liquidated cup indicating for the blond to sat down the coffee and "play" a little with Mamoru.  
  
Mamoru was obviously juiced up upon contact with Motoki and Motoki like wise but always though it best to leave Mamoru begging playing hard to get.  
  
"Missed you last night," Motoki smiled.  
  
Mamoru closed his eyes deeply and began to rub his lips against Motoki's neck telling the blond that he was busy on the case and began pushing against him when-  
  
KNOCK! KNOCK!  
  
Mamoru opened his eyes half-angrily and started to release his love turning. Both men turned to find a beautiful familiar caramel skin woman leaning against the open door with her arms cross eyeing the two with a sneaky grin.  
  
The woman was the same age and height as the men. Went through training with them, even high school. She had gleaming lavender/pink eyes and a wave of dark-forest green hair that swept out behind her like a capping mist. She was full of grace and mystery ever-wondering and stunningly exotic-looking. Tender to the eyes but hard against the body.  
  
And so the exotic beautiful woman spoke in question. "So when are you two going to break up and let a girl come between?"  
  
The men smiled.  
  
"Morning Setsuna," Mamoru greeted his friend first ignoring the question at hand. Best friend at that was Setsuna to him.  
  
"Morning," she waved a slight hand stepping into the snack room toward a box of donuts sprawling in their box all-open on a middle table. Her sugary pink nails snagged a glazed donut and delicately began to eat at the while the men watched.  
  
Officer Setsuna. Father was a police officer. Mother was a police officer. A girl who had the looks of a model decided it was her duty to following into this strange and dangerous business for the love of helping others. Someone beyond vain and conceitedness.  
  
Setsuna licked the sticky sweet sugar at her fingers then check her watch after the three discussed a little about what was going down today as she ate and she started charmingly for the door turning back smiling at the men. Her smile lowered when she suddenly snapped into seriousness looking at Mamoru explaining that the autopsy report had come in from the victim of the shooting yesterday.  
  
Mamoru eyes sparked with interest.  
  
"Here come on," Setsuna gestured with her head leading outside the snack room.  
  
Mamoru started to follow, turned around and laced lips for a second with Motoki patting his neck then headed out following Setsuna. The two moseyed through the crowded station toward Mamoru's office carefully.  
  
"We also got a full report out on the missing children," Setsuna informed. "It's going to be aired every few hours and in today's newspaper."  
  
Mamoru nodded.  
  
At Mamoru's private office Setsuna opened the door for him and he thanked her and the both led each other inside Setsuna closing the door behind him. Mamoru took a seat at his desk. His office. Small, cluttered, and smelled like coffee. Trashcan over flood with balled up papers, half wrap candy bars spewed everywhere. Just junk! Setsuna offered to help him clean it but Mamoru never saw it as being filthy in the first place.  
  
Giving the office a disgusting look Setsuna forced her focus from the trifling area and back toward Mamoru and the report. On Mamoru's desk was a maroon folder. He opened it and began flying the images of the body and the information he was receiving from the papers in his head as Setsuna explained.  
  
"Immediate one shoot at the heart," she spoke softly. "Kill instantly. Notice the bullet snapshot took there once it was removed from the heart of the victim." She reached over his desk and pointed toward the image Mamoru came across. It was a snapshot of a blood stained bullet paper clipped to a piece of paper which indicated all the guns that could apply themselves to totting this kind of bullet. "Not only that it seems like the victim had ejaculated only minutes after he was shot."  
  
"You mean he was at the end of having sex?" Mamoru clarified.  
  
"Umm… yes," Setsuna replied not the least bit bashful.  
  
Mamoru "hmm" in his pondering world as he read the list of possible murder weapons. Setsuna looked at Mamoru as he read and while he wasn't watching her. She felt herself drawing in deeper to his attractive features. His gorgeous shiny black hair, his hard stern manly eyes, jealous completely but not insanely over Mamoru's love given to Motoki in such a romantic way.  
  
He looks at me like a sister, Setsuna told herself upsettingly. I'm just his kid-sister and he never seems to realize how much I've always been so fond of him.  
  
"Hmm?" Mamoru peeked his eyes up at Setsuna with one hand cupping his mouth. "What's the matter with you?"  
  
Setsuna shook her head realizing she was gazing at Mamoru the entire time. She quickly replied nothing and felt it was time or her to leave embarrassed by her affectionate repulsion. Setsuna forced a smile and turned toward the door, she exited telling Mamoru good-bye. Setsuna paused outside the door of Mamoru's office leaning against it sighing. She wrapped her arms around herself and walked on toward her desk.  
  
Back in the office Mamoru closed the folder and leaned back in his chair. He reached around his left drawer of his desk and pulled open the miniature filing cabinet… rifled through it and pulled out the snapshot of the girl he's looking for. The strange girl. A possible suspect… but a possible victim too. Which one!?  
  
I have GOT to find her, Mamoru promised.  
  
Usagi rubbed her worn puffy eyes and lowered the magazine she held up to her face. Her attention turned toward Shingo who was looking sadly at her. She rubbed his head ordering that he smile and continue to help her think up a plan to get them away safely.  
  
The two runaway victims of domestic "breakdown" were standing before a newspaper stand reading magazines before they head off to find somewhere to stay. It was Usagi's insistence of course. She still wanted to read up on the little things and kept her face covered just to do that. Shingo on the other hand was restless and hungry. Both pretty much feeling sick.  
  
"This doesn't have anything new in it," Usagi said dropping the magazine back where she'd got it on a stand. "Let's go."  
  
And so the two set off. At least they thought some of their fear demised until they passed by a local electronics Shoppe and on the TVs put on window display caught Shingo's eyes in amazement.  
  
"Usagi look!" Shingo cried pointing toward the screen.  
  
Usagi couldn't believe what she was seeing. It was a picture of her with her hair up in buns and pigtails. A picture from like several months ago…a school picture.  
  
Her eyes wide the blond walked over toward the window display drawn into it in amazement and fear pressing her warm hands against the glass feeling her body chill all over at the sight of her face on TV as a criminal. At least she figured criminal. It wasn't exactly posted there but never the less she was. She would have to take full responsibility for Shingo's actions. She would have to say it was her fault. She shot the bullet. She killed her father. But that just couldn't happen now. As reasonable as it was to go to the police and admit all that happened she couldn't. Usagi knew what happened to kids whose parents are dead or away or insane. Siblings would never sick together. They'd be placed in different homes and she couldn't bare to live without Shingo with her 100%.  
  
The screen flashed away and there was Shingo's face. Usagi looked away wishing she could hear what was going on but at the same time was too afraid. She hastily took Shingo's hand ordering him to don't look up and pulled him on along side herself as she kept her head practically down. Hoping and wishing not to be recognized. Hoping with her hair down it could conceal her, cover her, blind peoples eyes to her usual satire.  
  
I'm a criminal; Usagi's mind went about. A criminal menace too society.  
  
Usagi knew she was taking it all wrong. Going out of proportion but… the idea was just too harsh on her.  
  
The two strode through the streets looking slightly for a place that was isolated and available to stop by and grab something to eat. Her stomach was hurting with hunger and she could virtually feels Shingo doing the same through his pitiful looks.  
  
A small voice could be heard behind Usagi but her mind and hearing was so far away to realize it was Shingo. Shingo struggling to break free and finally doing so having Usagi turn around fiercely in demand of wondering why he wasn't doing as she said. Her voice disappeared when she saw her brother gazing deeply at a poster posted near the Crown Arcade center. Usagi studied the picture and found a slight interest even, small enough for her to remain in realization that she and her brother were too endangered to really focus upon the image lying on the poster.  
  
It was a familiar face. A tall sparkling blond teen idol that Shingo was in love with and Usagi likewise. Mina Spears. The all-American Teen Popstar. The image of the beautiful blond was among a splashed colored background filled with stars and hearts and in big bold blistering letters it read: "TEEN IDOL MEGASTAR MINA SPEARS WILL BE IN TOKYO FRIDAY TO PERFORM HER NUMBER ONE SINGLES "OOPS!… I SLAPPED MY BOYFRIEND AGAIN!" AND "I'M A CRIMINAL FOR YOU!" GET YOUR TICKETS AT THE LOCAL CIVICI CENTER OR A LOCAL OFFICEBOX! HURRY! DON'T MISS OUT ON THE GREATEST EVENT EVER IN TOKYO BEFORE THIS GODDESS OF VENUS LEAVES BACK TO AMERICA!"  
  
Usagi felt sicken. Why couldn't her life be as glamorous and easy going as Mina Spears her favorite all time teen megastar. Usagi noted how much Mina Spears was so beautiful… like a goddess to the poor girl who felt "average."  
  
"Who am I kidding?" Usagi questioned herself and couldn't bring herself to continue.  
  
Shingo looked up at her sadly he wanted badly to go see the concert. Usagi told the boy to forget it and to follow her on their way.  
  
Wait! Usagi's brain froze. She stopped and looked at the poster again… thought about her "impossible" idea and shook her head. It wouldn't happen. Usagi felt silly at her idea that somehow she could meet Mina Spears and ask her to take her and her brother to America with her.  
  
Stupid idea Usagi! Usagi scowled herself. Don't be an idiot now when you're needed to focus.  
  
"I'm hungry," Shingo admitted for about the ten-thousandth time.  
  
Usagi couldn't find another round of protesting against her brother in her. It was about that time she'd felt the same strongly and was ready to end it.  
  
The nearest fast food place was their destination still trying to remain unsuspicious keeping their heads low. Evidently this wasn't going to prove a good enough strategy.  
  
Neither Usagi nor Shingo noticed when the manager came out, spotted the two and realized exactly who they were from the newspaper he read earlier that day. Usagi and Shingo were busily chewing into fries and hamburgers to notice the man step in closer and look deeper into the two faces then fly back into the kitchen into his office…  
  
The tall chunky man lifted up his telephone standing jittery above his desk and fiercely punched in a round of numbers.  
  
Then came an answer on the other end after what seemed like and minutes piled on minutes.  
  
"Yes!" the man raised his head seriously. "I would like to be connected to the Tokyo Police Department."  
  
"So do any of you know where your fellow pupil Usagi might have ran off too to hide or anything?" Mamoru asked tiredly looking at the crowd of ninth graders who sat silently before him as if never hearing a word he was speaking.  
  
Minds all must be on summer secession break; Mamoru thought and lowered the picture of Usagi he held before her homeroom class.  
  
Mamoru sighed despairingly dropping his head. "Thank you," he told the class and exited out head still low meeting up with Motoki who had his arms crossed watching from outside the room.  
  
"Still not speaking?" Motoki inquired.  
  
Mamoru nodded and folded the blown up picture of Usagi placing it into his jacket inside pocket. "Same ole, same ole. It's as if they're trying to protect the girl or something."  
  
"Maybe," Motoki replied looking down the hall pass the obtrusive sunlight seeping through the unfiltered windows. A group of boys were down the hall playing around with each other. Motoki was thoughtless at that point and pretty tired of Mamoru's obsessed. Shaking him to come all the way down the junior high school this Usagi girl attended. Mamoru the detective… as usual taking care of business his way whenever however even though he was told to prepare to crash the case and hand it to another. Mamoru couldn't of course… this case was different. There was something odd about the girl he had to figure out and where'd his feelings about her.  
  
Mamoru ran a hand through his hair and sighed. Motoki placed a hand on his shoulders. "Let's go get something to eat now," Motoki suggested just as Mamoru's cell phone shrieked out from buckled up at his hip.  
  
Giving Mamoru a long drawing look and Mamoru giving him a shy smile, Motoki crossed his arms and took a few steps down the hall discouraged completely.  
  
Mamoru answer the phone and was instantaneously caved in by Setsuna's excitement on the other end.  
  
"Mamoru!" Setsuna cried breathlessly from the other end. "The girl! The girl and her brother have been spotted!"  
  
Mamoru's eyes widen and a small smile crept across his face as he responded: "WHERE!?" loudly enough that it echoed through the hall.  
  
And so… Setsuna gave the stunning detective directions.  
  
Usagi rubbed her nose and looked from her straw up to the window on the left end of where her and Shingo sat at in their booth as she viewed a police car go whizzing by through the streets. Usagi shrugged and continued to drink at her milkshake until two more went whizzing by. She ignored it again… then stopped and looked closer to where they were heading with a start as she realized something HAD to be up and with her and her brother on the loose… could only mean…  
  
Peering closer and closer Usagi saw clearly that straight down the street the three police cars… stopped as if… blocking off the street.  
  
"Oh my god," Usagi hissed seeing all to well what was going on. The blond turned hastily toward her unnotified brother. "Shingo, it's time to dip!"  
  
"Huh?" he looked up annoyed that she'd broken him from his strawberry milkshake.  
  
"LET'S GO!" she shouted watching two police officers just heading toward the restaurant entrance.  
  
Shingo and Usagi grabbed their book bags, swung them on and dashed off with Usagi guiding directions.  
  
BACK EXIT! The girl's mind shouted. THROUGH THE KITCHEN!  
  
Usagi and Shingo caught in an action filled panic shoot through the restaurant tossing over chairs and tables, as they pressed further for escape!  
  
"RIGHT THERE!" cried a voice from behind Usagi who was behind Shingo for his protection but leading the way. "CATCH THEM!"  
  
Shingo stopped at a door waiting only a second before Usagi came and threw the door open. The two stepped into the back area of the front registers a female cashier hollering in anger. Usagi and Shingo hit a sharp left toward the kitchen and were off leaving the several employees there lost in a fog of mystery as to what the hell was happening.  
  
Usagi never felt so afraid in her life. Well… except for the incident that led to all this. The blond could practically feel the heat of the police officers behind her. Hoping she'd lost them somewhere in the mist of the uproar.  
  
And there was the back exit. A large looming metal door caked with peeling yellow paint taking on as the backdrop of a group of large trash bins. Usagi and her brother were almost there!  
  
Until…  
  
"Stop right there you two!" a heavy-set man came stepping between the path of the two and the escape. The man held his hands out holding them away from their means of escape eyeing the two in antagonism. Shingo had rammed his poor little head into the overweight stomach of the man who happened to be the manager, who happened to be the one who got a hold of the police to move in and take the two frightened kids.  
  
Usagi skidded to a halt with dread. Time was ticking! Her heart was jumping! She felt like she was going to go crazy.  
  
Shingo felt the same and out of his feelings he lifted his right foot, slung it back and swung it into the groin of the manager who's eyes bulged as he bent over in stricken pain covering his "necessities." Usagi pushed him aside while he was distracted by his pain and pushed Shingo through.  
  
Like caught in a maze the two went through the trash bins near they're size. With Shingo ahead Usagi used every bin she could to hold the upcoming officers off. Shingo hit the large door and struggled with the lock when it finally released and he went stumbling into a smelly back alley with his sister right behind who shut the door closed loudly and searched hysterically around for something to keep the door from opening from either side.  
  
There! To the right. A dumpster!  
  
Usagi ran to the side of the dumpster demanding Shingo help and the two worked together to wheel the dumpster before the door until they felt it was safely stuck in place. On the other side the officers could be heard banging against the heavy metal door in pursuit.  
  
The two kids let loose the breath they were holding smiling at one another's' success. They'd made it.  
  
That's right… for now…  
  
"FREEZE!"  
  
They turned and what appeared to be their only outlet into the streets on the left was a lining row of police officers Berettas at the teeth of firing.  
  
"Damn!" Usagi spat roughly her nerves burning, her hatred for the police force growing. The hatred for her father growing along with it.  
  
"PUT YOUR HANDS UP AND DROP TO YOUR KNEES!" demanded a guy in a trench coat with a megaphone in his possession and using it as he stood out from the other uniformed dressed policewomen and men who lined the alley's exit.  
  
Before respond Usagi looked for a possible another way out. On the other end of the alley was a rickety wall like wooden fence. Her and her brother wouldn't be able to climb it before they'd be shot to death.  
  
The two remained silent as the megaphone officer continued to order them to get to their knees.  
  
They can't shoot us! Usagi's thoughts rang. We're just kids. But they will separate me from my brother if we give up. We can't give up.  
  
As if some small prayer was answer there came a rumbling motor sound far behind the end of the alley behind the wooden fence…  
  
All eyes rested mutely on the fence in anticipation of what was going on.  
  
When-  
  
VROOOMMMMMM-CRASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
The fence shudder into splinters as a motorcycle came tearing down the alley and despite it's raging fire shooting speed, managed to stop roaring like a demon from hell right in the wake of a frightened Usagi and Shingo.  
  
"Get on!" the familiar voice behind the helmet ordered from the two roughly. Usagi didn't think a second thought, she lifted up the extra helmet threw it on Shingo's head and tossed her brother on it where he was placed between Usagi and the stranger. Once on… the strange reared the motorcycle's engine over the megaphone guy's demands and turned the bike on it's rear wheel back toward the grand entrance it'd made.  
  
Usagi nearly screamed, as she held on tight. Her arms wrapped around the strange cyclist where she could protect her brother and stay on for dear life. Nevertheless she actually felt at ease and safe.  
  
"STOP YOURSELEVES RIGHT THERE!" ordered the trench-coat cop.  
  
The cyclist team had him on ignore as they roared up with the drivers anxiousness.  
  
Usagi constrict her eyes and gripped on tight feeling her nails bite into the stranger. She was scared but didn't care, this was her way out and she didn't want to die making it.  
  
VROOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!  
  
Usagi couldn't watch but felt them jerk forward riding wind cutting speed in the direction toward the police line. Trust, trust, trust, trust, was all Usagi could think of. Even thought she should know better than to trust anyone but her brother at this point in her life she felt like she had no other choice with the cyclist. It was to late to turn back, might as well trust the stranger to getting her and her brother out safely in whatever manner it would take.  
  
As the motorcycle reared up it felt as if Usagi was going to slip off and crack her face, but the blond made sure nothing like that would happen.  
  
So up they went onto one wheel toward the line of armed officers that rang out in horror as they fled from the path of the motorcycle that peeled pass them out of the alley and into the crowded street blockage. The motorcycle stung a right and roared down the street back on both wheels as a group of other cyclist came springing out into the streets gaining attention from all over. A gang of them… and Usagi hearing all so well opened her eyes to see them.  
  
That's when the fire rang out.  
  
Gunfire!  
  
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!  
  
Usagi prayed, bit her lip tight not to scream in fear. She could practically feel the bullets being fired burn pass her, cut into her hair. The girl found herself so luckily smart to place her brother between her bodies, but her back was so violable now. She just couldn't get shot.  
  
All around Usagi looked only to find her world whizzing by her with glimpses of the simple things even… like color. An obvious girl cyclist was on the right riding in right next to the stranger carrying Usagi and her brother. Usagi watched her. Want to know who was it behind that helmet with that flowing black hair. The shocked callousness for danger. Risking so much… being so strong.  
  
"HOLD ON!"  
  
The blond's eyes widen too late to watch as the motorcycle she road copped right and toward the sidewalk and bystanders only to have it rear back up to one wheel and went riding up the bumpy path on the back of bumper, the rear window, and truck.  
  
Up! Up! Up! The roof! Then the air wheels twirling in the space aimlessly with a VOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!  
  
Oh my goddddddddd! Usagi's head screamed, as they were air born then-  
  
BAM! Slammed the motorcycle onto the car roof ahead of the one that gave them their lift. Usagi had bitten her tongue in the entire process and decided once again that it was more important that she held on tight and kept her eyes closed as they began to do it again forwarding to get them faster through the streets.  
  
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! The officers continued the chase the gang firing rounds after rounds of bullets. Usagi expected to get it but it seemed like it would never come. They just kept riding. On and on dangerously until she couldn't even barely think. To the point where she was just… along for the ride… no longer caring but trusting.  
  
Then it crossed her. She still didn't know who saved her and where the hell she was taking her and her brother!  
  
It wasn't until Usagi recognized they were getting closer to the bay area that they were starting to slow down until the motorcycle and gang of others stopped in a patch of trees that looked down over the sandy beach below.  
  
Fearfully Usagi climbed off the motorcycle first helping her brother follow holding his hands tight moving away from the crowd and watching them at the same time as each other them dropped their helmets and Usagi gradually began to identify their faces. She held her brother tight both afraid as the gang of girls from the café revealed themselves behind each helmet along with three others. Then the final one held on her helmet. The one who saved Usagi and her brother?  
  
The gloved hands reached for the helmet over her head and slowly… slowly… lifted…  
  
"Makoto," Usagi's voice hissed lowly.  
  
Makoto shook out her wavy brown hair, her face pale and sweaty, her eyes glassy and somnolent looking. Makoto managed to give Usagi and her brother a small smile before she fell over into the grass.  
  
Determination drove Mamoru. The streets were too crowded and blocked to get his car through so he took it on foot. Panting in his astute black suit with his black tie flaring behind like a flag to Motoki who followed in full-blown running to keep up.  
  
I got to make it! Mamoru cried out to himself in his head. I got to find that girl!  
  
A block away was Setsuna in front of the restaurant with another speaking officer not paying attention but instead waiting and watching as Mamoru came up to her and almost fell against her in his frantic run. Motoki caught up seconds later.  
  
Frowning Setsuna folded her arms. "You're too late," she said candidly.  
  
Sweaty and fatigued Mamoru looked desperately at her wheezing.  
  
"Damn," he cursed.  
  
Usagi looked sadden at Makoto who laid quietly half sleep on the lower bunk of a small dimly lit boathouse room. The blond had her hands wrapped around herself, hair disheveled and sprawling everywhere in a mess. Next to her was Shingo resting his head on Usagi's left shoulder sleepily watching Makoto himself feeling sad. Makoto had been shot saving the two.  
  
The gang of girls brought Usagi and Shingo to Makoto's sister's boathouse where she lived. It was small but enough for the two of them. The two sisters who were abandoned by their parents and driven to the streets for what seemed like eternity but was actually roughly three years ago. The boathouse originally belonged to their uncle, the same uncle that killed himself handing to the boat down to Haruka, Makoto's older sister. A strong willed nineteen year old who worked extremely hard to keep the only place the two sister could call home available to them.  
  
Usagi shook her head aimlessly feeling sick. Feeling like just lately she was causing just too much trouble. The blond closed her eyes and bent forward on the stool she sat on cupping her palms over her eyes near tears but to tired to really cry.  
  
One thing was sure was that Usagi couldn't understand why Makoto saved her. Why'd she suddenly appeared? How did she know Usagi and her brother would need her at that particular moment? Was there something spiritual about all this that happened?  
  
Don't be stupid, Usagi pressed against ideas. She just happen to be by and noticed us in trouble and decided to do something about it.  
  
Funny though… just earlier that day Makoto was the one who'd made Usagi fill up with guilty and become even more sicken at herself. No she was saving them and as much as Usagi felt angry with what happened earlier it was one thing that seems to just remain in the pass. Something she should forget about and worry about how well Makoto was going to hang up being shot. Apparently the firing of the police officers was from all angles and not a single one directed toward Usagi and her brother. Someone had to have made a precise hit to blow the bullet in Makoto's chest while they were scrapping up the streets.  
  
"Usagi," a soft voice asked in the faint room.  
  
Slowly Usagi looked up at Makoto and her more soften influence than the one horrible way she spoke to Usagi before.  
  
"Y… yes," Usagi answered back tucking her loose hair behind her ears and taking Makoto's clammy sweaty hand. Makoto had opened her glasses eyes. Her chest rose quickly and lowered quickly over and over again as if… it was hard to breath. It made Usagi sick. She didn't want to see this, she didn't want any more deaths and she didn't want to start some kind of friendship where it would in so immediate in the poor girl's dying.  
  
She couldn't look at the girl any longer. The girl with the long brown wavy hair who lay on her back on the bed all sweaty and hot and feeling suffocated…  
  
Usagi threw down Makoto's hand and shoot up with a yelp of terror and began to pace over toward the door leading into the next room while holding back tears. She wanted so badly to just take Shingo and both of them, book the hell out of the boathouse and just leave far far away from Makoto. To just let Makoto die! DIE! DIE! DIE! Get it all over with and let the girl just die!  
  
Usagi rubbed her hands through her hair, worried and confused about her feelings. Her feelings being so callous as to open a small friendship and close it so hurriedly so she wouldn't have to get attached or see someone else she cared about suddenly die. But she stopped, stopped pacing, stopped worrying and just looked at the wall on the right of the door leading into the other room. Just stared at the wall. She felt hot and flustered knowing all to well that she just COULDN'T leave this girl like this.  
  
Usagi heard Shingo ask her something but ignored it and went bravely back to be besides Makoto who was smiling at her. Makoto made a joke about Usagi getting frantic over nothing cause she wasn't dead yet. Usagi couldn't find the simplest reason to even smile. One thing was sure was Usagi wanted to know why? Why had Makoto saved her and her brother and eventually risked her life for them? It didn't make any sense. How could someone so horrible to the blond change so fast? Usagi no doubt was afraid to ask; she kind of already knew why Makoto saved her. They were both lonely somehow. Girls who had to grow up too fast and weren't given the fair essentials it took to becoming a woman. Almost everything was made up to the two.  
  
"Hey Usagi. About earlier this morning… I'm sorry," Makoto apologized. "It never occurred to me that you were so much like me. When I first got started. Me and my sister didn't have much either until we realized our uncle left us this damn rocky ass boathouse." Makoto closed her eyes fading a little with a long pause. Usagi still couldn't look at the dying girl; she tried to block out her desperate wheezing for air too which felt imprinted on her brain now.  
  
All Usagi could say was: "You're forgiven. It's okay."  
  
"How did you end up on the streets like this?" Makoto asked near a choke.  
  
As much as Usagi didn't want to explain she did. Told Makoto the entire story with Shingo remaining silent but stirring at almost every word.  
  
"That's pretty critical," Makoto joked dryly.  
  
Usagi shrugged and rubbed her tired eyes.  
  
Silence.  
  
Then…  
  
"Hey umm… Usagi," Makoto's weak voice came back up this time a little drearier behind her heavy breathing.  
  
Usagi looked at the girl and literally saw Makoto giving whatever else was left from her. Usagi then realized she couldn't allow Haruka to ignore the fact that Makoto need a doctor. Usagi realized she couldn't just step down because this wasn't any of her business. IT WAS! And she opened her mouth to call for Haruka not permitting Makoto to speak another word.  
  
"Harukaaaaaaaaaaa!" Usagi cried out in terror.  
  
A tall, powerful looking young girl came stopping into the room her long tan-blond ponytail swishing around her like a snake. She looked panic- stricken from Usagi to Makoto asking what's the problem.  
  
Usagi felt herself boil with anger as she shot up into Haruka's face. "What's the problem!? How can you ask that!? You're sister is dying and we need to get her to the hospital NOW!"  
  
Haruka looked like she was near slapping Usagi, as much as Usagi felt inferior to Haruka she wasn't going to just let Haruka ignore everything and let her sister die. Usagi herself would gladly give her life to Shingo… but… she would never let herself slowly die where she could be helped, where she could live out more days with her brother, where she could contain to protect him and keep him from loneliness and more lost. Usagi just couldn't understand why Haruka wasn't doing ANYTHING!  
  
"It's too risky!" spat Haruka with fire. "We're already in too much trouble to be running around the hospital where we could risk being caught- "  
  
"SHUT UPPPPPPPP!" Usagi cut in screaming at the top of her lungs covering her ears from Haruka's careless babbling. Usagi threw her hands away from ears and began to cry looking desperately up at Haruka who looked down a little shocked at the crying girl. "Pleaseeeeeee Haruka! For her life! For YOUR life! Let's get her some help!"  
  
And so… Usagi's dramatic but real, attitude clicked somewhere in Haruka and Haruka knew Usagi was so right.  
  
Blinking Haruka couldn't believe herself. She looked from her sister to Usagi and felt like a fool. As much as she hated the hell out of Usagi, blamed Usagi for this entire thing, she still couldn't just believe how she literally wanted her sister to die. Haruka knew she couldn't save her sister by letting her get better lying down. This wasn't an illness; it was more and could mean Haruka being alone.  
  
Nevertheless, there weren't any tears from Haruka but all from Usagi who covered her face under her sea of blond waves sobbing. Who was this girl? Haruka wondered. Someone to make me change and become so feeling with emotions.  
  
"Okay let's take her," Haruka said back roughly trying to push aside those feelings she was just having. Those good faithful feelings. Feelings she had a long time ago before her parents and the streets deprived her from them. "But I want you and your brother to stay."  
  
Usagi's wet face looked furiously at Haruka as she jerked her head up to the tall girl. "I WON'T stay," Usagi crossed. "I'm going to!"  
  
Haruka sighed throwing her hands on her hips wondering why she didn't intimidate the girl. Why the girl wouldn't just listen? But as Haruka looked at the girl, she knew there was some kind of determined passion in her eyes that she just couldn't get behind. That she just couldn't find herself grasping and controlling it. Usagi wasn't like a "robot" she was something… different to Haruka.  
  
"Fine, you're wearing a disguise. The boy stays. Too many of us would draw attention before we can even get my sister in the hospital. I'll be back with some for you and get some of my girls to help." Haruka turned.  
  
"Haruka," Usagi said meekly. Haruka turned and Usagi forced a smile. "Thank you."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Haruka put off with a swish of her hand then headed out.  
  
Usagi felt so much better now. Makoto could be saved. 


	3. Chapter 3

NAME: Towel (9/15/01 – 9/20/01)  
  
E-MAIL: MoonTowel18@msn.com  
  
TITLE: Papa-Kenji… Please No More  
  
RATING: PG-13  
  
NOTE: I guess when I used to submit on some other site this is the result with all these ummmmm… colons and stuff format for my stories. Anywayzzzz yes, yes, I knowwwwwww sigh. I can't believe it's almost three weeks now since I started writing this story. Kinda strange… kindaaaaaaa. Woooooo, ghosty. So besides Papa have anybody read Disturbance or SM Core? Those are my other lil' stories, I don't know if anybody has ever read them and they're so good. I think it's one because ASMR is always about love stories and stuff; people come here to read love stories and not stories that involve fighting. (-------Loves fighting stories. GRRRRRRR! SM Core must not be too good for something even though it's been almost two years since I started writing it. Disturbance on the other hand is kinda… well… it's getting up there I guess. Not a very widely expressed story but then again… sometimes a lot of stories are worst. Okay I love er'body and I thank er'body for the wonderful e-mails but to some people… people… SIGH… look I'm terribly sorry that my story apparently "sucks" because of this thing between Mamoru and Motoki, god. Give me a break. Are we talking about people living in confinement from the amazing VARITY of people we have in this world? Besides that they're FAKE! I hate to think that too but it's true! Then again some people write some awesome e-mails giving me attention (loves attention) and I thank them sooooooo much now I feel like Mina Spears (shut up! No comments! Don't ask!). I can't believe people actually liked this story and they've been telling me that so nyah-nyah to that mean person who's just hatin'. I'm pretty sure whoever'll be back just to read chapter 3, don't worry, I got you hooked so THERE. Boo-ya! OOPSSSSSSS! Okay. Music of Choice: N'Sync "Gone." Why? Cause I'm kinda an impulsive buyer. I mean I'm shocked myself… I bought an N'Sync album… oh god… me? Because of this one song I heard on the radio and was like… "That's so tight" then (don't laugh) almost got into a wreck on the freeway going to work. Anyway, I like them I guess, nothing against them at all except they're luckyyyyy (whines whines I wanna be a star). Especially Lance. Justin… cut-throat sorry Justin fans reading this. Speaking of stardom I have an audtion this Tuesday… wish me luck!  
  
THANKS: MINIMOON! Thanks so much for dedicating a story to me now this is to youuuuuuuuuuuuuu!( Thank you again (I thank a lot) everyone who told me my story was good, and goddess Naoko who needs to get back to work (demanding demanding Towel)!!!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~PAPA-KENJI… PLEASE NO MORE~~~~~~~~~~  
  
CHAPTER 3  
  
Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud.  
  
Usagi tightened her eyes feeling them burn with tears as she heard her Papa-Kenji move in toward her room his dress shoes for work clamping sheer echoing terror at every step he took up the steps.  
  
Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud.  
  
Usagi's heart beat all most in sync with the pending apprehension. Her room was dark and she tried desperately to blend into it. To simply disappear and vanish into the darkness and never be seen again. To just die and drift far away from people's brains so she wouldn't be remembered as the girl who suffered just too much.  
  
Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud.  
  
Peeking in over her covers that blanketed her in fire she looked at the door, which would soon open to her nightmare and heard softly as her father's shoes went at command before the door brimming the small light from the other side, which would collect farther off in Usagi's darkness.  
  
The doorknob began to twist.  
  
Usagi cringed and seep deeper into her covers and began to sob crying with an awful whimpering sound escaping her ghostly lips.  
  
The door opened slowly Usagi could hear and practically began to feel her father reach for her, throw his hand over he mouth choking out her murderous cries and began to strip her down and go about his horrendous business with his daughter…  
  
The covers were to protect the traumatized blond but it didn't help as slowly the large man walked into the room unlike never before their mother died and he threw the covers over a shattered Usagi and threw his rough violent hands onto her chest.  
  
"NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Usagi shot up screaming her terror shackling the hearts of those who stood and sat near her in the waiting room of the local hospital.  
  
Usagi kept screaming, her throat cut raw in her nightmarish terror.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
A group of people frighten moved away from the screaming Usagi and rose in panic demanding someone to come help her. If Usagi only knew, only knew that it was all a dream, a nightmare, that she'd fell asleep in the hospital and was waking up from what was a clear imprint of the past but what was simply that… the past, then maybe Usagi wouldn't have reacted the way she did being startled demanding NO MORE from the dream.  
  
It didn't help that she didn't open her sopping teary eyes to see that she was safe.  
  
Usagi clutched herself against the sofa she laid on in the waiting room, she rolled around and cried and cried and screaming and patted and fought the air trying to get the "demon" off her. Tried to keep the "demon" from putting himself wrongfully into her. Cried and cried and couldn't stress how painful it was.  
  
It wasn't until a fairly tall beautiful blue-haired woman doctor came that Usagi was able to snap out of her outlandish without doing any harm against herself or others.  
  
"Right here doctor," a male nurse pointed the way for the doctor who's soft blue eyes watched the terrified blond who laid screaming on the sofa.  
  
Clicking on her heels throwing back her blazing white coat the doctor tucked a strand of her pinned up hair behind her ears and walked over toward the girl and began to talk to the girl… the girl who'd she remembered came into the hospital with one of her patients the brown-headed girl who'd been shot along with her sister. It was just about thirty minutes ago when the doctor last saw the girl who laid screaming on the sofa with her long blond hair braided and wearing a light blue baseball cap. The doctor also remembered the girl's name.  
  
"Serenity! Serenity!" called the doctor worried, confused, and a bit disturbed at the girl. The doctor began to tap the girl carefully wherever she could without being swatted away, each tap more and more forceful until she'd finally got "Serenity" to calm down. The blond laid face up on the sofa her body going limp and she opened her weak soggy eyes with an insane blazing beastly bulged which startled Mizuno out of her heels but just as quickly the girl blinked and turned to look in need of help at the doctor as she began to relax from the nightmare her eyes softening from their gigantic stare.  
  
"Doctor Mizuno," Usagi whispered softly in praise and before she could think she reached up and threw the doctor in a hug holding her tight sobbing in her arms feeling the smallest bit safe once again. "It was so horrible," Usagi let loose sniveling. "So horrible."  
  
Doctor Mizuno thought at first her patient's "sister" Serenity was having a nightmare that her "sister" had died but that wasn't the full case. Doctor Mizuno knew something else had to be going on. Besides that Serenity looked too familiar to her. From somewhere else, too odd and unexplainable to her liking but nothing to distaughting. Still the kind woman held the girl, held her like a child she wished to have very soon in her life. The child she tried to have but… unfortunately lost which led to the lost of her recent husband which…  
  
Doctor Mizuno stopped her thoughts immediately.  
  
Usagi moved away from the woman staring at her sharp established blue eyes. Still taking the girl in her hold Doctor Mizuno sat down next to Usagi and began to stroke her hair setting the girl at ease, making her feel comfortable in her arms, comfortable and safe knowing it was all over. No more. No more of whatever was really going on behind her shady ensemble.  
  
"Makoto is going to be alright," Doctor Mizuno tried to reassure in her warming voice rubbing Usagi's quivering back. She wasn't really so sure herself. Makoto was in… stable coma condition at the moment and Mizuno continued to check on her but… she didn't know. Something just seemed wrong. Nevertheless, it was Usagi's sanity she was concerned about at that time happy that security wasn't going to have to get involved. "Makoto will wake up at any moment Serenity," Mizuno continued to talk motherly to the girl who in fact no longer had a mother and needed the feelings of love once more and forever. "Keep your faith and keep praying. Your sister will be just fine."  
  
Usagi choked on her upcoming words. She had started to tell the sympathetic gracious Doctor Mizuno the truth. The truth that her name wasn't Serenity and Makoto wasn't her sister at all. All these simple lies, to keep her and her brother safe, Usagi had to do what she had to do simple as that. She didn't like to lie but apparently that's all she was capable off the pass months since her mother died. Lies. Lied to her friends, her horrible father, her brother, lied to everyone, keep everything away from everyone. Usagi just wanted to crawl into a hold and asphyxiate herself with mounts upon mounts of earth until she lay drowned out to the world as a rotten maggot infested corpse.  
  
The blond shudder and hiccupped an "I'm okay."  
  
Mizuno looked weirdly at her and asked was she sure.  
  
Rolling up a sorrow-looking smile Usagi nodded quickly then asked was it okay that she go see Makoto now.  
  
And so Mizuno led the way Usagi holding tight onto her as the two walked the chilling silver-like corridors of the hospital.  
  
My fault as usual, Usagi's dark thoughts continued to plague her. I probably put somebody else into a coma with all that yelling. Just a dream, a nightmare, a nightmare that was very true. Very literal and very fully developed in reality. God, if I were just to die right here right now… but Shingo…  
  
The two slowed their pace as the moved into Makoto's room. With the currents drawn against the night and the room softly glowing by a tiny lap stood Haruka standing anxious and sadden over her sisters' hospital bed. And Makoto… laid sleep resting like a baby… almost. Normally babies in the sometimes safety of their warm homes wouldn't be on some IV, wouldn't have tubes and foreign objects jutting in their bodies… wouldn't be in a coma. A baby would be curled up, cozy and protected and snuggled against a teddy bear drifting off to sleep knowing someone was right there as it pranced through streams of chocolate and trees of lolly-pops. As Usagi looked tenderly at Makoto she couldn't imagine those kind of dreams, she smile at herself for seeing Makoto going high-tailing daringly through some dangerous situations on one of her damn motorcycles.  
  
So there Makoto laid along with the arraying "beep, beep, beeps" going on near her. At the other end of the room near the window were some cushioning seats and Mizuno suggested Usagi lay on one of those for a while and watch the TV playing across from Makoto for her view point, if she'd open her eyes, propped on some kind of ceiling dolly (AN: GOD, whatever they're called. I broke one once by accident), fearfully Usagi dejected. Lying would mean sleeping for her tired soul, and sleeping would mean nightmares, and nightmares would mean Papa-Kenji.  
  
"I'll just stand thank you," Usagi informed Mizuno giving Mizuno a shy "thanks for your concern" smile.  
  
Doctor Mizuno shrugged being just about an inch taller than the blond, looked over the room, and then exited.  
  
Looking at Makoto Usagi felt like she had no right to be there. She and Makoto weren't… but then she remembered how Makoto bravely saved her, how this all started in the first place. Yes… she had ever right to be there.  
  
But still it's my fault; once again the dark thoughts of Usagi chimed it. I should be the one laying there!  
  
"You know I keep thinking she can hear me," Haruka spoke up faithfully leaning against Makoto's bed her hands clamped over her sister's eye-balling Makoto with such compassion in her eyes that wanted to cry but just wouldn't.  
  
Why isn't she blaming me? Usagi wondered playing with her fingers nervously. Why hasn't she said anything horrible to me? Why is she holding back!? WHY!? WHY! WHY!? I'M NOT SOME CHILD SO STOP HOLDING BACK! Say what you want to say! Get it over with! It's my damn fault! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!  
  
Usagi snapped her head away with a turn frowning the floor like a slap in the face. Her thoughts working away as she began to toy with her single braided hair moving from the vacant game she had with her fingers. Silence. All she could think of was remaining silent. Maybe she didn't want to know what Haruka wanted to say; maybe it was better this way.  
  
"WHOA-WHOA-WHOA MINA (MINA)!!!!!! TRULY OUTRAGEOUS, TRULY TRULY TRULY OUTRAGEOUS! WHOA-WHOA-WHOA MINA (MINA)!!!!"  
  
Caught in the chanting musical singing on TV Usagi looked up and once again there she was… the blond goddess. Mina Spears.  
  
For a second Usagi wanted to jealously knock the hell out of the teen blond popstar but kind of alleviated herself away from anything violent as she watched with interest.  
  
"Hi everyone!" Mina Spears spoke before the cameras broadcasting all over Japan, herself speaking Japanese. "Only days left before my final concert here and I want everyone to be apart of it! It's going to be a major cool wicked blast! And everyone's-"  
  
PEWW! The TV went off.  
  
Usagi blinked thinking it was just her that saw that but turned to find Haruka holding up the remote frowning.  
  
Haruka looked at Usagi. "Plastic little bitch," she spat then tossed the remote over into one of the seats near the window. Haruka then turned her attention back toward her sister.  
  
Usagi gazed at Haruka and wondered… wondered sooooooo deeply. Was that Haruka's way of telling Usagi to get lost for all the trouble she's done? Taking things out on some girl who's living her dream where as all three of those in the room now weren't?  
  
Longing to watch the commercial and the concert, Usagi looked back up at the screen but didn't defy to turn it back on. She just gawked and remembered her impossible plan. Mina Spears took a private jet here so if Usagi could only get the girl to let her aboard with her brother…  
  
Usagi almost laughed. It sounded so stupid but why did she believe so much in it?  
  
"You want to be like her don't you?"  
  
"Huh?" Usagi's notice turned back toward Haruka who was looking at her with a smirking smile.  
  
Haruka waved a hand toward the up-propping TV. "Like that little tramp. You want to be like her?"  
  
Usagi smiled shyly and looked down at her feet playing with her braid even more. "Mina Spears isn't a tramp Haruka. She's just very determined and lucky. Everyone thinks she's some kind of breast implant infested slut but that's not true." Usagi's eyes began to water up in pure envy. "She's just lucky Haruka. She's living her dreams making the right decisions to get toward it without letting anything get in her path like the things we've gotten into."  
  
"And what's that suppose to mean!?" Haruka demanded standing up right startling Usagi who unrepentantly witnessed Haruka take her statement overboard.  
  
Shaken Usagi hesitated to speak watching for what Haruka was going to do next but Haruka just glared at her like a monster throwing a finger at her own chest.  
  
"You think me and my sister DESERVEDDDDDD this!? HUH!? HUH!?" Haruka shouted. "You think we ASKED to be kicked out of our damn house? Our good home!? A home where I was going to school, I had a boyfriend, making money, preparing for college!?"  
  
"Ha-Ha-Haruka I'm sorry," stammered Usagi trying to calm the up roaring girl down. But Haruka came marching in front of Usagi who backed into the door terrified as the tall girl loomed over her like a dark angry cloud threatening total disaster. Haruka pressed her chest up into Usagi's face treacherously.  
  
"You BETTER be sorry for what you just said," Haruka said darkly. "Because everything that's happening that's gotten so worst is your fault!"  
  
PANG! It was like Usagi's heart finally was able to shatter and she literally felt it painfully vibrate as Haruka's words echoed in her damaged mine, but there was also a sigh of relief. Finally… finally, someone besides herself tortured her mentally.  
  
Haruka saw Usagi looking quietly off into space and began to back off from the girl. She'd been holding back telling Usagi the truth for awhile now, been holding back so much, now that she'd saw she hurt the girl even worst than she already was she felt a small regret, but not big enough to bring her own sister back and healthy. Haruka believe Usagi had had enough and set in motion her body to move back to her sister's side stiffen as it may be.  
  
Haruka peeked at Usagi who continued to eye space. Haruka would let her stay. Maybe dye her hair like she did but she'd let Usagi stay only cause she liked the girl. Saw some strange potential in her. That is until Usagi would get in her way. Then Haruka felt that's when she'd have to let her go.  
  
Inside Usagi was murdering herself over and over and over and over and over again.  
  
Rubbing a towel through his wet recently washed hair Motoki stepped into the living room, where Mamoru was seated, his manly bare feet patting on the wood floor of his home's main hallway. Motoki stopped in the doorway and looked. Once again there was Mamoru bent over looking at the photograph of the girl. The Usagi girl. Deep in thought wondering to himself.  
  
Motoki sighed rolling his eyes leaning against the doorframe and tried to think up of something that could break Mamoru from the damn thoughts he obsessed over on finding this girl. Motoki couldn't see it. What was so special about this girl? Was it her strange alien looking hairstyle? WHAT!? He just didn't get it and Mamoru really didn't get it himself he thought.  
  
Still Mamoru studied and studied and tried to work out whatever he needed to understand.  
  
Motoki tried a little joke to get some progressing order around there. "Next time we go out to eat let's not pick Italian," he joked referring to spaghetti sauce a waitress dumped over his head while losing her balance. Mamoru just gazed at the picture. Motoki huffed and tried again. "You know you should try thinking of me a little more often."  
  
Still no respond.  
  
Motoki grimaced and moved in onto the carpet now of his living room and stood before Mamoru looking down at the picture.  
  
"I'm getting soooooo jealous Mamoruuuuuuuu," Motoki cooed touching Mamoru's neck.  
  
Mamoru didn't stir.  
  
Motoki threw his hands on his hips and looked at Mamoru fiercely getting fed up. "Mamoru!" he demanded. "Wake up! The girl is dead! Someone kidnapped her and her brother and killed them!"  
  
No responds still.  
  
Motoki then snatched the photograph of the girl and held it into the air. The alarmed Mamoru stood up commanding Motoki to hand the picture back but Motoki went around the living room laughing and skipping around finally getting Mamoru's attention as Mamoru chased after him delighted at his success.  
  
"Motoki quit playing! This isn't a game!" Mamoru insisted almost urgently.  
  
"Oh yeah?" Motoki grinned turning around to where Mamoru and him had the sofa between the two. "Well it is to me," Motoki's eyes glittering with pride in ripping the girl from Mamoru's eyes even for just a second. "You want to know what else is a game to me?" he then added lowly.  
  
"What?" Mamoru smiled creakingly.  
  
"This-" Motoki reached to kiss Mamoru but Mamoru totally put Motoki on shut down as he snatched the photograph and turned away from Motoki quickly stuffing the picture in his pocket.  
  
"You're no funnnnnnn," whined Motoki kicking at the carpet.  
  
Mamoru started to head for the door out. "Maybe next time."  
  
BAM!  
  
Mamoru was gone. With a sigh Motoki vault onto the sofa and turned on the TV cursing.  
  
It felt like Usagi was back in hell as she looked up at her dark old ethereal home… her past. Yellow crime scene tape lining around the entire gate leading into their small yard and across the front door as an X. The house looked down on her almost like it was ready to swallow her back into its darkness. Glaring at her, those awful dark phantom eyes staring at her with such hatred. The house seem to spew with Kenji written on it ready to drown Usagi back down in one final revengeful glump.  
  
Despite the warm summer night Usagi felt coldness wrap around her thin body and instinctively she reached and crossed her arms tight over herself to try to keep warm. It wasn't working… the coldness was also shuddering somewhere inside of her body too and pushing forward quickly which caused her to have small visions of the most explicit things she never really want to remember… then…. Well then there were the better visions. Visions of her mother, her family, how she used to be late for school every morning, how she would whine over the simplistic things, and the happiness she once had. Happiness snatched away too fast that it made her nose want to bleed and left her head spinning with uncertainty and a knife carving itself into her back.  
  
Why am I looking at this? Usagi wondered looking up at the evil house. Why did I walk from the hospital all the way here just to look at this piece of crap? What's my problem?  
  
Settled in the swallow shades of tree below the dimly lit glowing street lamps the blond stood wondering where'd it all ended and actually began. WHEN would it all end and WHEN would her new life begin?  
  
"You shouldn't be around here," a wintry voice proclaimed and Usagi looked cautiously on full alert as a man dressed in black but shaded by the shadows which made him blend into them all too well to see him clearly stepped in front of the gate before her old home. The man looked from her up to the house, all Usagi could see was the shifting of his rock-like head.  
  
At first Usagi felt awkward around the man. She felt invaded as if he knew something about her thoughts or something other than that, like he'd been standing there the whole time reading them. The different things probably. Something wasn't right but it felt right to her as she looked at the man. The man who stood there a few feet away to her left. It was dangerous to be at the house in the first place, but it was so late Usagi figured no one would be around and no one was except this man.  
  
Looking from the man Usagi focused back on the house… particularly toward her dark bedroom window and wavered long enough to ask the man why shouldn't she be here.  
  
The man shifted his weight onto his right leg in the darkness and waited awhile before he spoke. "It's a mad house," was the first thing that came from him. Hearing so made Usagi's heart jump and she glanced at the man wondering deeply about how would the hell he know what it is. He didn't live there; he wasn't apart of the happy moments. How could he say that, he had no right! Sure everything crumbled apart but it wasn't a madhouse… it was just… gone astray… no longer feeling. "The owner of the home was murdered. No one knows for sure, haven't you heard?"  
  
Usagi shook her head replying that she hadn't even though she knew the entire thing. She figured this was a time she could learn what people were saying. What they were REALLY saying.  
  
"Two of the children here are missing. We have reason to believe that one of the children committed the crime."  
  
Usagi tittered a little losing her balance then straightened back up. So she was a suspect… a criminal. And what did he mean by "we?" Was he a police officer or something? Usagi looked long and hard and mad at him. How would he know, what did he know!? He knew nothing! Nothing at all!  
  
Her anger drove her filled with passion and she turned fiercely with her fist at her sides toward the man. "How can you say that," she cried full of emotions leaving her thoughts of keeping it cool behind but wanting to tell somebody else what happened. Let the police know somehow, get some idea that this wasn't how they thought it was.  
  
The man looked surprised at her outburst and backed up a little trying to look closer at her. "How I can… say…?" the man sputtered.  
  
"You police think you know everything!" the blond continued tears burning the corners of her eyes. "You know nothing! Maybe the father hurted the children. Maybe he did things to her – to them!" Her tears rang out at that point like little droplets of rain. "Maybe there wasn't a choice! Maybe their father wanted to die and was telling his children that's what he wanted!"  
  
The man in dark shook his head pitifully at Usagi. "Tsk-tsk, you pathetic little girl."  
  
Usagi blinked shedding her last tears. Why was he calling me pathetic? Asked Usagi silently. It's true but…  
  
The man took marching steps toward her and Usagi backed off as he got closer, and closer, then she turned and ran up the street away from him, turned and looked back as he stopped where she once stood. What made her run and what made her stop she couldn't figure out but as she looked at the man she felt this odd feeling jolt through her and for a quick second felt a small relieving weight remove itself from over her heart.  
  
It was all cut short as Usagi flew as fast as she could to the boathouse… her horrible stuffy small hangout coated in blood.  
  
"USAGIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! USAGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! USAGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"  
  
Her arm feeling numb propped under her head Usagi opened her sleepy eyes and blinked them in the darkness woken up from the "alarm" she was hearing that hurted her ears. She peeled her arm and head off of the desk in the small boathouse room she was resting in and looked immediately toward Shingo who was tossing and literally having a seizure in the small bunk where Makoto once laid dying.  
  
Usagi narrowed her sleepy eyes and slipped off the stool she sat on running to Shingo's wailing side. She grabbed his bare warm arms and shook him and shook him until he stopped moving and just went wilting limp. His eyes tightened close shut he slowly opened them, Usagi glanced at the door hoping Haruka wouldn't come blazing in then turned back toward her terrified brother in question. He looked fearfully at her his eyes wild like those of some outrageous horse or cow walking the mutilation plank. Seeing her brother like this HORRIFIED Usagi. That look in his eyes was so crazy so wild of a beast to bare and it made he realize Shingo was feeling it too. Those feelings, those nightmares, that dark vacant monster inside eating at him like it was doing Usagi. He was feeling those things too. The insanity! The damn insanity!  
  
Please blink Shingo, Usagi's head cried. Blink! Blink! Blink! Blink!  
  
She couldn't stand to look at Shingo's eyes and dropped her brother practically shoving him back down onto the thin mattress and snapped her head away from him.  
  
Why won't he blink!? WHY!? Why won't he close those awful eyes! Close them! Close those insane eyes! Demon eyes looking for a price to pay with someone's life! INSANE! CLOSE THEM!  
  
"Usagi what's wrong?" Shingo's meek voice asked in the darkness the only light from the moonlight peeking through the small window as the houseboat floated clutched to bay.  
  
Usagi turned back slowly toward her brother fearing his eyes and saw him looking at her fine. His eyes… his eyes were no longer full of psychosis but that of a young man, calm, reduced of his nightmare. The normal Shingo… but not quite him.  
  
Instantly Usagi threw him in a hug and told him again and again how much she loved and cared for him. She'd do anything to keep him from going insane like her. From straining the beast from within out of him through his eyes.  
  
Usagi kept hold onto her warm brother keeping him protected and close.  
  
Shingo started crying as he explained his nightmare. "It was bad Usagi. Everyone was dead. Too many people died. Too many of them for us Usagi." Shingo sniffled. "You died."  
  
Usagi released him and looked closely into his green eyes that seem to glow like a beacon of what was left of Usagi's very own sanity.  
  
I died, she thought. No… it was just a dream.  
  
Usagi smiled and pushed Shingo's wet matted hair from his face trying to talk him back to sleep. "Just a dream Shingo. I'm right here see? All it was was a dream."  
  
Shingo looked sadly into his lap. "When will all this be over? And what's in America?"  
  
Usagi sighed deeply looking at her brother continuing to smile. "It's just my dream Shingo. A place where I can instantly become a star," she chuckled a little shrugging. "I don't know. Make lots of money and take care of us both. We can start over there away from the people looking for us."  
  
Shingo turned looking readily at her. "What about grandma and grandpa?"  
  
Usagi shook her head eyes closed. "We can't go to them Shingo."  
  
"WHY!?" he spat.  
  
"Because Shingo," she narrowed her eyes frustrated at his continual disagreements. "We go to them then we'll never see each other anymore. I'm going to jail if we're caught Shingo."  
  
Shingo began to cry a little. "But I'm the one who did it! I shot dad!"  
  
"No, no, no, no, but it's my fault you did," Usagi protested shaking her head. "I'm going. At least for you."  
  
Shingo then closed his mouth. She was protecting him and he knew that somehow Usagi knew what she was doing. That his sister knew what was right and that she was doing the right thing. He trusted her so much but at that moment his trust for her grew like wildfire. He realized she really was there for him. She really did love him.  
  
Shingo remained quiet and slowly Usagi laid him down into the bed. "Now go back to sleep Shingo. Don't be afraid I'm going to be right here."  
  
It took her awhile but finally Usagi got Shingo to fall asleep again. She watched him sleep peacefully and realized how much stronger he's been since all this, strong and respectful. It felt strange but it felt necessary somehow to her. Then there was that look in his eyes. That dreadful insane look…  
  
"Usagi!" the door suddenly busted open shaking Usagi who stood up as one of the girls in Makoto and Haruka's gang came through calling her name.  
  
"What's the matter?" Usagi stood up adrenaline at rushing speed fearing the police had found her and her brother. Panic for escape.  
  
"It's Makoto!" the girl announced hurriedly. "We just got back from the hospital she's not doing so well. Critical maybe."  
  
Usagi raised her hands to her chest moaning. "Will you please take me there?"  
  
The girl nodded and Usagi pushed her feet into her shoes and followed the girl out into the night. With Shingo being kept watch on over by two other girls Usagi ran along the wood deck, up through the sand and into the patch of trees where she hopped onto the motorcycle the girl drove and the two took off to be by Makoto's side.  
  
Pray, pray, pray, pray, Usagi could only do as she rushed into the hospital and was thrown into confusion as she saw a team of officers standing before the emergency room receptionist desk. Oh no! What were they doing? She wondered.  
  
Usagi and the other girl stopped before them Usagi keeping her and her disguise low. The usual. A long single fat braid with her blue baseball cap. Not much but enough… maybe.  
  
One officer noticed them and turned.  
  
Usagi was nervous as then the others all turned and moved toward her and the girl who'd got her the ride to the hosptial.  
  
"Don't say anything," the girl whispered toward Usagi barely moving her mouth. "Let me do all the talking."  
  
Usagi nodded fearfully.  
  
"Hi there ladies," one officer in lead greeted fakely. "We have reason to believe someone we're looking for has been visiting the hospital here and we're checking ID so let's see them…" the man held out his hand.  
  
So someone did realize who I was… Oh my god…was it? Doctor Mizuno who told… was it her that betrayed me? Usagi's feelings burning.  
  
Usagi just wanted to turn and run! Run! Run! AND RUNNNNNNNNNN! But she couldn't cause for some strange reason as much as she wanted to run she felt nailed to the floor.  
  
There was a long silent stillness and Usagi waited impatiently for the girl to do what she had to do. But she was doing absolutely nothing and it seemed like hours before the rescue came.  
  
"What're doing!?" a familiar voice demanded and up came running Doctor Mizuno. She halted before the officers wearing her heels and looked at them angrily. "What's your problem? I told you my two daughters were coming in. They're underage you idiots. No ID."  
  
Usagi felt… a funny feeling inside. Once again someone was risking something to help her. Her of all people. Doctor Mizuno… Usagi regretted every bit of her previous feelings of betrayal.  
  
"Go ahead," the officer ordered not the least bit really buying what was going on but decided it was useless to gripe. He knew Doctor Mizuno's ways.  
  
Doctor Mizuno took Usagi and led her and Usagi felt good in the woman's arms to the point where she wanted to cry as she told Doctor Mizuno thank you in a low low low voice away from the officers' hearing range.  
  
Doctor Mizuno was silent until they got into the elevator and she turned to Usagi. "You're real name isn't Serenity is it?" Mizuno asked solemnly.  
  
Usagi didn't see the point in lying. The woman just saved her from never seeing Shingo again. So Usagi told the kind woman…  
  
"It's Usagi and I'm a criminal."  
  
Mizuno smiled. "No you're not. I knew from the beginning you looked familiar and I somehow knew you were coming when you did. You're that girl they keep broadcasting as missing."  
  
Usagi nodded to ashamed to look into Doctor Mizuno's eyes but felt the floor to be more comforting to her eyes. So Mizuno knew the whole story. Well whatever the media was sending her.  
  
"Usagi you're such a sweet girl," Mizuno complimented. "I highly doubt you're a criminal but let's go over that later maybe when you need someone to talk to. Right now Makoto, well you should be here."  
  
Usagi said nothing.  
  
The elevator stopped.  
  
The three exited quietly but just as they were prepared to they watched dismayed as they saw Makoto go wheeling by laying in her stretcher with Haruka following, Makoto's head poking only from the heavy white sheets over her. Emergency operation. Usagi was too late to see Makoto one last time to say good-bye. That small glimpse of Makoto being wheeled by was the final and last time Usagi didn't know yet was when she'd see Makoto again. The girl who'd saved her life risking her own.  
  
Doctor Mizuno placed her hands on Usagi's shoulders. "I'm sorry Usagi. Hopefully if we keep our prayers up she'll survive the operation."  
  
Usagi nodded but knew better. Makoto was going to die and as negative as it was that she was thinking that she knew the truth. She didn't believe at all that Makoto would live cause anyone who'd risk their life to save her was bound to die due to her "curse." Usagi then saw no point in crying her dusty dry eyes out again.  
  
Usagi looked up at the clock opposite the waiting room. 1:45am. She wanted to go. She didn't want to stick around anymore. She'd had enough of everything. Haruka sating soundless next to her told her earlier that Usagi and Shingo could remain at the boathouse. Usagi still didn't see why Haruka was being so nice but decided it was best to take Haruka up on it. Usagi had nowhere to go anyway. Without another word Usagi stood up and left.  
  
As she exited the hospital she noticed another different group of officers outside the door. So tired of the running Usagi sighed and turned the other way to try to cut through the park across the street from the hospital.  
  
Dashing through the park gates Usagi crashed into someone who before she even knew it…before she knew anything in ANYTHING grabbed her roughly and threw her hard onto the grass. She looked up, the odor of the man burning her nose as he smelled like sewer water and piss. A bum she realized and then was disgusted over him touching her.  
  
"What're doing here girl?" the homeless man demanded to know his teeth looking shattered and hopeless beyond fixing as he spoke, the only thing Usagi could pick up on in the rush as…  
  
Usagi screamed as the homeless man brought himself violently onto her and smashed her jaw cutting her screaming out to a gasping purr ordering that she shut up. The dark shadow moved over her weaken tired body who couldn't resist…  
  
Robbed Usagi trudged back toward the boathouse as usual crossing all this distance on her feet with one thing on her mind. Suicide. Now that the money she had was gone what was the point? What was the use in keeping up? In going on. She had it all mapped out. She'd write a letter and cut herself. Cut herself good. Use the letter to tell Haruka to take good care of Shingo, to apologize to Shingo to do anything just as long as she no longer lived. She felt like she had nothing no. How could she take care of Shingo after that homeless bastard beat the shit out of her weak body then took what all she had right from her pockets?  
  
Oh well, Usagi thought. At least I'll be free.  
  
It was time to die. Just as Shingo dreamt it was time to end this…  
  
  
  
Hahahahahaha, oh yeah and about the Mina Spears thing… impulsive folks but it's more or less as a joke cause she actually is Usagi's symbol of hope… I think. Oh WAIT, no, Usagi is about to kill herself I forgot. Well with that out of the way I consider the chapter after this the "Breakdown Chapter" where all the… ummm… crazy things start happening. Crazy dangerous things... things I spend time trying to fail my classes thinking up and writing. I reread this but probably not that good cause I'm really sleepy and sometimes don't like to read my own material stuffz. Well Usagi was robbed by the homeless man which only deepens her situation as it is, she's about to go kill herself finally saying "F" Shingo she is through with the pain. Will she really kill herself…? So what did anybody reading this think about this chapter, or the story in general? 


	4. Chapter 4

NAME: Towel (9/24/01 – 10/18/01)  
  
E-MAIL: MoonTowel18@msn.com  
  
TITLE: Papa-Kenji… Please No More  
  
RATING: PG-13  
  
NOTE: Breakdown time. Now it's time for the story to get a little more weirderrrrrrrrr. *Yawn, yawn,* I'm sleepyyyyyyy. Okay well read on while I think up some other stuff to put here. AHHHHHHHHHHHH, damn how long has it been? 3 weeks? Uh-ohhhhhhhhhhhh! Yeah I was in the middle of right when Usagi meets… oh can't spoil the story, but it's someone special. Well anyway, from that point that's where I lost my train of thought and the story kinda vanished a little but it's BACK now. E-mailing me what'cha think! Warning: Strong language.  
  
DISCLAIMER: Sailor Moon 1992-2001. Naoko Takeuchi. Kondansha Ltd. And Toei Animation.  
  
THANKS: Naoko  
  
~~~~~~~~~~PAPA-KENJI… PLEASE NO MORE~~~~~~~~~~  
  
CHAPTER 4  
  
Disgusted. Ugly. Horrible destroyed monster-looking girl. Usagi stood quivering glaring routinely at her reflection in the darkness of the small cramped boathouse bathroom. She knew she should have found somewhere else but she didn't want to. She didn't want to go back out there, she couldn't. No more. Couldn't take it anymore. So she looked at her insolvent self, a girl that looked damaged no longer healthy with worn puffy-red eyes, paling skin, and chapped lips. Those were the crucial things that stood out to her. The rest seem to be just there, abused enough perhaps so much not to notice.  
  
And so she continued to stare standing there or her bruised legs looking at her reflection in the diffuse light of the cramped boathouse bathroom.  
  
No more dreams… no monies.  
  
Usagi prepared herself for this… was she ready? Could she really do it? Was she strong, brave enough to go through with this? To end this completely?  
  
Still…  
  
Visions of her just minutes ago, kissing a sleeping Shingo on the head after coming from the hospital stayed printed on her mind and how much he needed him so much. She felt ashamed and foolish for thinking about being so selfish as to take her own life when there was just so much more later on in her future. And as much as she felt tired and ready to give up now she just didn't want to see what could be ahead. Dead she would have no other options but to lay still in some coffin, shallow, but cut away from the world. Sounded pleasing.  
  
Thinking vigilantly about what she was doing Usagi closed her eyes and began to sniffle as she collected herself together no longer in her fearsome panic to demolish her life. She dropped the bottle of random pills she'd found in the medicine cabinet, she dropped the bottle of liquid detergent, all just clanking down against the floor as if disappearing giving her another chance.  
  
Wiping her eyes she looked back at the dead-girl reflecting in the mirror and couldn't believe herself. Couldn't believe what she was about to do. Take all those pills and guzzle them down with liquid detergent. How stupid she felt! Ashamed and stupid! And weak! She was too afraid to do anything else. It was hard for her to keep positive and believe but she knew, it was just important. Her mother taught her too much about strength for Usagi to deny everything and end it so dishonorably. She could also image the horror on Shingo's face when he would wake up and find his only family now lying there on this cold stone floor, her eyes bugged out, her hair thin and dry, her… dead. She could see Shingo counting it off with his fingers, mother, father, now and my sister.  
  
Usagi trembled asking God why did she want this as she dropped to the floor roughly on her butt. She just sat there in the cramped room eyes over her face praying and asking God to stop all this. To relieve her of everything. Demanding to know how'd she deserve this. What did she do that was so wrong to make all this happen to her?  
  
Usagi pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged herself soundlessly sobbing.  
  
Even though this is happening I have to stay stronger and beat this, her thoughts structured. Even though I no longer have any money I have to keep trying. I HAVE to beat this time in my life. I have to learn the lesson behind with this horrible price. I won't give up, not for anyone! I have to keep my faith.  
  
As much as she tried to stone that into her brain… there as the smallest doubt. And the restless girl then placed her thoughts on finding a way to earn some money without getting involved with the police tabling themselves to finding her. Now more than ever she was determined to take care of her and Shingo. Whatever it takes…  
  
Mamoru's nightstand phone went ablaze and the man shoot up his head from under his covers giving it a frowning look in the gloom of is tiny apartment bedroom. Good thing he wasn't sleep yet his thoughts still on that strange girl he met earlier last night by that house.  
  
Mamoru gave the phone a look in the dark moonlit room then flopped his head back on the bed, using his right hand he stretched over and retrieved the phone…  
  
"Hello," he croaked.  
  
"It's me Setsuna!" Setsuna's charming voiced went about on the other end almost not the least bit caring to interrupt the detective's sleep. "I know it's late… well early but I think we have another led. You remember our juvenile friend Makoto? Well she was visited at the hospital; someone says it was the girl you're looking for… Usagi and of course Makoto's troubled sister."  
  
At that Mamoru sat up. "Usagi, she was there?" he asked wide-awake.  
  
"That's what we got. We also got Makoto's sister in for questing and one of the doctors working with the Makoto girl. Just wanted to let you know if you want to come down here and help me out with getting these people to talk after we leave the hospital. It's going to be pretty late with all the rounds we're making but we'll be taking them to the station soon enough Probably by daybreak."  
  
Mamoru looked at his clock. Ten minutes after tweleve in the morning. He'd stayed up later/earlier than that working nearly every night. It didn't matter that today was the one-day he was able to get a full night of sleep; it didn't matter at all.  
  
"I'm on my way," he informed Setsuna jumping out of bed.  
  
With her head low Usagi walked down the horrid streets toward no particular destination. She just had to get out of the wobbly boathouse and do something radical, like steal. She just didn't know where exactly or how. She was in that part of the city anyway, the "troubled" area. So it wouldn't be so hard for her to find something, some way to acquire some money quickly.  
  
Usagi's only thoughts were on escape. Getting away from everything. She felt like she was going to do this. She was going to make it happen. All her dreams were going to come true; it just took passion and work to get there. She'd always enjoyed working in the school theatre, she'd always enjoyed singing her heart out, she wanted to be a star plain and simple and was dedicated to making that come true.  
  
Perhaps…  
  
Usagi stopped walking and began to go weak at her knees barbered with a sudden flush of stressful depression that wouldn't allow her to continue her small stepping as a beautiful sea-green haired woman came brushing pass her stopped and turned toward the shaken blond.  
  
The woman threw her hands on her hips and turned spike fully toward Usagi demanding to know what was the matter out of nowhere to Usagi's blunt senses. With her arms wrapped around herself feeling cold and fearful of her surroundings Usagi turned wearily toward the woman wondering what did she mean and was immediately took-back by the woman's skimpy appearance. Shyly Usagi looked away and choked out a "nothing" as meek as the small trampled mouse she was.  
  
The sea-green hair woman chuckled a little brushing her beautiful wavy hair over her shoulders and giving her head a toss throwing back her bangs something that caught Usagi as someone professional. "Can't get a date huh? Well there's no wonder. Look at you. You look awful."  
  
Usagi blinked. "I… I look awful?"  
  
"Yeah," the woman reached over touching Usagi enduringly on the cheek that felt a shiver of coldness rip below her spine like a soft tingle. The woman pulled off Usagi's sweat jacket revealing the blond's pale fleshy shoulders under a plain tight night-blue tank top. The woman scoffed at this look giving Usagi a scrunched up look. "And THIS is how you make money girl? With that? No wonder you look messed up and broke."  
  
Usagi shook her puzzled head. "I'm… I'm sorry but I'm confused here. What do you mean? I don't understand."  
  
The woman smiled at Usagi rolling her eyes. "Here," she threw the sweat jacket into a startled Usagi's face. "You must be new. Follow me," and so the woman swished her hips in led while a naive Usagi followed giving the fact that she needed money and that it was stupid of her to follow this insane stranger. But she did so…  
  
What do I have to lose? Usagi wondered. If I want to make it… I… I have to do whatever I have to do…  
  
If only she knew…  
  
Usagi's eyes seem to never look away from the woman who absently, from out of nowhere, led the teenage blond through the block in no particular direction that Usagi could find herself taking note of. All Usagi knew was that there was money somewhere and she was going to trust this stranger to get apart of it.  
  
Not watching a step of where she was going Usagi bumped into a large man passing her by and thought nothing about it until the man turned sharply and grabbed Usagi roughly around the waist. Immediately, after all her forcing violations the blond instinctively screamed at the top of her lungs for the large man to release her as she batted and swatted at his face until she felt his overwrought muscles allow her to slip from his arms where she hurriedly went seeking defense along side the strange woman who in turn told the man to get lost with a snap of her fingers.  
  
"What the hell?" the man protested eyeing Usagi who cowered in the ideal warmth of her sweat jacket her lips quivering and her eyes already burning with fire.  
  
"Didn't you hear me the first time!?" the strange woman demanded to know. "I said beat it! You got that!?"  
  
The man frown his monstrous face on the two then gazed at the stranger, saw there was no chance and made an attempt to warn the two. "Aye f*** you babe!" he spat flicking the two off then trampled down the sidewalk talking under his breath.  
  
"You'll never get that lucky asshole!" the sea-green haired woman hollered back watching him disappear with a disregarding wave of his hand. The woman traditionally threw her hands on her hips forgetting a second about the small girl hovering around her as if for protection. "What the hell is your problem?"  
  
Usagi felt sick wondering why was she yelling at her. Usagi didn't do anything wrong and what was going on!? Where was this stranger leading her and why was she following her like it was nothing? Why was her mind telling her no yet her body was telling her yes?  
  
Usagi choked on her words and the trite woman rubbed the blond's head. "I keep forgetting you're just a kid," she spoke compassionately. "When a man grabs you like that you got to aim girl not cry and scream and shout unless you're somewhere alone." The woman rubbed a hand through her hair looking up for a second then back down at Usagi. "So what's your name anyway?"  
  
The blond contemplated on whether she should tell her but decided there was no point in holding it back. "Usagi."  
  
"Humph, Michiru. Nice to meet you."  
  
"Umm… likewise."  
  
Why am I so afraid of her? Usagi's thoughts went about looking into Michiru's eyes. She's so… strange and mysterious. I'm scared of her but I can somehow trust her.  
  
Michiru brushed a hand around Usagi's neck and cheek then commented on how cute Usagi was. "You're young. Should be a nice investment."  
  
"Investment?" Usagi frowned.  
  
"Yeah now come on." Michiru started leading again until Usagi came staggering into her path looking up at Michiru with sad fearful eyes and asked again…  
  
"Investment?"  
  
"Yes," Michiru pressed. "You're on the streets to make money right? You're new. You're cute. Might as well make you the best offer now before you let those other turn you into just another street trash."  
  
Usagi wasn't believing what she was hearing and was trying desperately to see it as another thing but the single factor keep coming back. Michiru was a prostitute and was leading Usagi into doing the same thinking Usagi was fresh untouched meat and should be invested for the…  
  
A gasping Usagi stepped back from Michiru shaking her head wildly feeling choked like she'd just signed a contract to hell. Usagi didn't know much but she knew enough. Michiru didn't understand. She wasn't trying… she wasn't trying to work like this. Usagi simply figured Michiru HAD money, or friends with money. Enough…  
  
I'm so stupid! Usagi scowled herself. I'm actually this ignorant?  
  
Michiru looked at her nails. "Don't try to deny it girl. I've never seen you before, you're new, and you're an investment so let's go."  
  
"You've got to be kidding me. I'm no ones investment! I'm just a kid!"  
  
Michiru rolled her eyes. "Does anybody care?"  
  
Usagi wanted to cry but was to tired and shocked and dead inside to cry.  
  
Michiru breezed pass the shattered blond and turned eyeing her up and down turning up her lip. "Let's go… hoe."  
  
Usagi threw a hand over her hair and stumbled forth almost to her knees.  
  
"Listen you might as well get used to it now because that's what everybody out there is going to call you." Michiru tilted her head and went about again, "so let's go… hoe" in severe meat stripping echoing terror to Usagi's tender ears.  
  
The blond started breathing heavily holding her chest. She wanted to throw up but didn't want to think about… the THINGS those types of people do. To think about them horrified her. It… everything was making her go insane. INSANE! INSANE! INSANE! INSANE! INSANE!  
  
Out one trap and into another! Why was this happening!? Why was all this happeningggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg!? She should have known better than to go back out on the streets, especially this late, especially after the homeless man incident. Now this…!  
  
Make it stop! Make it stop! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!  
  
STOP ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!  
  
"No… never," Usagi fizzled. "I won't allow anymore pain. No more pain."  
  
Suddenly Usagi reached out with a wolf's howl and tried desperately to rip at the eyes of Michiru who backed up quickly and threw a fist into Usagi's stomach able to dodge the blond's many swings. A group of other woman at the corner turned to look laughing. Michiru on the other hand seen it all before, she knew Usagi would seep right into the gang. There was always that first realization denial with the new girls and this was expected and all Michiru did was watch as Usagi hit the sidewalk on her knees gripping her bubbled stomach as if she was going to vomit feeling the wind blown out of her.  
  
Michiru check her nails again everything with her so nonchalant. "I wish you'd stop acting childish and just come on here."  
  
Through her golden bangs Usagi looked up fierce fully at the demon woman who drew her into her ever so enchanting dark spell.  
  
"Listen, I get paid more for finding new girls that look suited and you do. I'm not letting you just leave you know. Try that mess again and you won't have any money to worry about spreading those sticks of your overs. Stop gripping and come on, god."  
  
"Why are you doing this to me?" Usagi asked feeling herself becoming better. "Why won't you just leave me alone?"  
  
"Becauseeeeeeee you nitwit! You don't WANT me to let you go. You're on the streets to make money and I'm trying to help!"  
  
Usagi shook her head. "No, not make money like that."  
  
Michiru folded her arms then demanded "like what?"  
  
There was no answer because Usagi didn't know.  
  
"Like I thought," Michiru pranced bending to help Usagi up who threw Michiru's hands from off her commanding she not touch her. Michiru pulled away willingly holding her palms up. "Listen you need money anyway it goes right?"  
  
"Shut up," Usagi replied quickly resting her left shoulder against the brick wall of an empty convenience store they'd stopped at with their scenario. The thing was about Usagi was that she was somehow, somewhere feeling… okay… feeling like it was quick, yes hard, but maybe not so bad, but definitely something not to be a hobby of.  
  
Then there was that side telling Usagi she was better than that…  
  
"Alright," Michiru continued. "Three days. Three days you try it out and see how the money comes. You still don't like it? I'll let you go. You're a runaway anyway like all the rest."  
  
"I can't… I can't do something like that."  
  
"Yesss, you can girl. It's not as bad as you think it is. It's NOTHING like you think it is-"  
  
"Liar!" Usagi cried pronouncing her recovery from Michiru's attack. "It's awful and I've… I've had…" Usagi trailed off.  
  
Michiru picked up on this immediately. Seen it and heard it all before. Usagi had been raped. Simple pick up. The way the blond spoke, looked, and eyed Michiru. Tell-tell signs of someone who's already been through a lot.  
  
"One day," Michiru renounced.  
  
"You can't control people like this," Usagi whined near tears.  
  
"I'm not controlling you. I'm offering you a quick easy way out of the situation you're in now. Everything takes sacrifices. You have to use what you got to get what you want. You and every girl on these streets has trouble getting to where they want to be in life, some have forgotten where they want to be and this is now where they'll be forevermore. But those with dreams have had them temperately shattered by families, business, everything, you name it. Some of these girls have no choice. They HAVE to rebuild what they've lost as quickly as possible and the 9-5 jobs just aren't cutting it for them. I can see it in you're eyes Usagi. It makes sense doesn't it? You're at a lost and you need money desperately and fast. Sacrifice a few nights of your sanity and let someone else feel at ease… pleasure. From them you receive the same through their wallet until you're where you want to be in life, or at least back on the tracks. Then this job, depending on you and it's money flow, won't mean a thing."  
  
And it did. It made complete sense to Usagi. Then again Michiru seemed to have a way with words toward Usagi. Had her spellbound instantly.  
  
Michiru seeing the blond struggle to discuss what was going on in her head tried once more to assure Usagi as softly as she could that it was going to be alright placing her hands on Usagi's shoulders. "It's going to be fine kid. I won't let anything happen you don't want to happen."  
  
Usagi's puzzled confused brain pushed forward into tears as she began to remember things, remember her mother, her father, Shingo, and Makoto. She started to remember all the bad things and the good things. The things that were driving her crazy. She wanted somebody to talk to. Somebody to take the pain away. Some kind of help.  
  
Michiru lightly wrapped her arms around Usagi and began to rub her head. "I can't believe you got me doing this in the middle of the streets but I'll let you know you don't have to do anything you don't want to. I just don't want to see a runaway such as yourself getting into the wrong crowd."  
  
It's happening all to fast, Usagi's mind raced. I take a simple walk to try to clear my head and earn some fast money and I step into some kind of prostitution ring. How are things like this happening to me? I don't understand. Why is God allowing these things to happen to me? I once was so… young… innocent and now I'm… corrupted…  
  
Corrupted…  
  
That idea stood out to her so badly because it felt so strong to her. She's been corrupted, violated, abused like no other from her own blood. What possibly could following Michiru do to change or make her feel better when the worst has already happened? There's nothing worst than a parent abusing their child. What else did the world have to offer that was just as painful? Corrupt…  
  
No but! What would Shingo say? How would he react once he learned how she was going about her sadden nights trying to make sure that at such a tender age of fifteen that she had the two somewhat well financed and balanced enough to step out onto another high adventure toward another country. What would Haruka say?  
  
Usagi thought about that one and realized Haruka AND her sister was forced into doing it. At the time they had no choice.  
  
But do I have a choice? Usagi wondered. Can I be different and make a difference? Am I just another victim of this or can I beat this? Can I find something better…?  
  
No… of course not. No ones going to hire a fifteen year old drop out basically which a mountain of emotional turmoil and a tarnished ardor. Someone as graved looking as myself. And someone as WANTED as myself. But there just HAS to be another way!  
  
Please God show me the other way…!  
  
But maybe… it wouldn't be so bad. Maybe if I… keep my eyes on my goal I could put aside those awful dirty feelings of this job. Maybe if I keep my eyes on the money and my goals and Shingo being happy I could ignore those random bed-sake nights.  
  
Maybe I'm just fifteen but… but… if I can survive my father's abuse I can survive this. And I never know… maybe this was a sign from God. For me to specifically walk this street and run into this lady and this lady recommend me this job mistaken that I was new at it. A sign. I'd sacrifice everything for Shingo and his future and if it means my sanity, my off well being, my mind, spirit, and body then… why should it be so hard? Shingo was too important.  
  
Usagi's thoughts droned out as she began to focus everything she had into becoming a robot. To not feel anything, feel the eyes on her, feel that short man that Michiru took her too inside some honey nightclub. Usagi just looked at the man on the other side of his desk who puffed on his blunt his baldhead shining under the florescent lights. Amongst him two large men dressed in black standing at his sides in his small cramped office. An office covered with bill murals, naked women, and a sinful conscious of lust.  
  
Usagi didn't want to think. Didn't want to react to any of it. She just let her thin small body sat in the squeaky chair opposite the man while Michiru stood above her explaining everything to the man. To his business. To his investments.  
  
And the man eyed Usagi with such a sinful infatuation. His mouth guttering with an eagerness to taste the blond and her innocence. He liked her immediately and just watched the blond, watched her avoid his disturbing stares but then boldly return them. From where no one could see under the desk the old man rubbed his stubby psychosis legs together in placated needs.  
  
"Her name's Usagi," Michiru continued to explain. "But she's going to need a stage-"  
  
"Princess," the old man shot up his eyes flashing at Usagi with acknowledgement and a splintered smile. "We'll call her Princess."  
  
Usagi jolted but remained calm. She didn't quite know exactly what to expect as Michiru led her on but Usagi knew she'd have to be strong no matter what and so far she was proving herself of it not being able to break down and cry like she longed for ever since she stepped into the club. The awful club.  
  
She remembered it. The millions of girls even her age stepping in and out of the club as her and Michiru came to see the own, the boss they called Grandpa Hino, the oldest man in the business. How those girls looked at Usagi and sneered at her being the somewhat new girl coming to join in on the action seeing Usagi simply as a target of jealousy and envy for her looks. Usagi the new girl who was going to steal away all the men, but no. Usagi didn't want to think about it like that. If everything would just blow up before her eyes then maybe I'd all be all right.  
  
The men who came into the club watched her too. Watched her like meat and it felt horrifying to her bones.  
  
The blond had to push it all aside, she told herself only three days, just three days and Michiru would protect me.  
  
Michiru and Grandpa Hino discussed matters before Usagi until they decided to throw her immediately into the VIP. Calloused Usagi just listened and looked, she didn't think, she didn't cry, she didn't do anything.  
  
Michiru had second thoughts. "We're going to throw her in there already? She's just started though."  
  
Grandpa Hino shrugged his chubby shoulders remaining his stare on Usagi with delight. "She's ready," he smiled. "She's definitely ready."  
  
Usagi didn't twitch.  
  
"Give her a few and she'll get loose, works every time."  
  
Michiru sighed. "I told her I'd keep her safe. If I throw her in there with those animals they'll-"  
  
Grandpa Hino shouted his face turning red. A man whose experienced it all and wasn't taking anything from what he saw was just flesh. Even though Michiru was his agent and fundamental sidekick he was sometimes sicken at her maternal ways. To him this was a business. He ran it like a business and this business didn't have room for any motherly business. It only had room for peccadillo and that was all he was taking.  
  
Michiru, tucking her hair behind her ears, eyed the floor and nodded. "Yes sir I'll give her the best drink."  
  
Usagi didn't twitch.  
  
"That's better," Grandpa Hino smiled calmly lacing his finger over his stomach as he relaxed in his chair. "I will expect a lot from you Princess…"  
  
Usagi didn't twitch.  
  
"Michiru here will keep a close eye on you. If one of my costumers wants you, you do what they want, bring ME the money and you know, we'll work it on out."  
  
Still sating stoned a single tear slid down Usagi's right eye. A single tear that didn't erupt her boldness, her remaining focus, her darkness which allowed itself to be set free possibly explaining to Usagi that she wasn't able to do this.  
  
No one commented on the tear, Grandpa Hino and Michiru seen it all before. They just knew some girls lasted and some didn't.  
  
With a swoosh of his hand Grandpa Hino adjourned the meeting without paperwork and a soft quiet Michiru demanded that Usagi to come along with her.  
  
And Usagi followed…  
  
Followed Michiru through the up rising catwalk from Grandpa Hino's office that over looked down on the club where lights were flashing like fever and people were on the dance floor, touching, feeling, and moving ever so closely against one another. Then on the sofas and seats and cages surrounding the dance floor, those abiding actions between two strangers. The music blared a devil's tune that entrapped the whole crowd turning them into imps of the power of the sinful sex. They were mad, the smoking, the drinking, the interaction between another of unknown officiates and the sheer raw power radiating death and destructions of generations after generations.  
  
Even though the sights were like a small piece of reality the club, the whole world, was still remaining in black and white.  
  
The two women clanked their feet against the catwalk toward the wiry stairs that led down into ocean of sex with a turn. Usagi eyed the crowd once and saw enough. She didn't think: "oh god what am I doing? I'm going to be just like them." Her only thoughts were on Shingo and the money she would make. She made note that she was clever enough, that somehow she could slip pass what was before her eyes and do it her way. And she was clever enough she thought to know that Grandpa Hino wasn't getting a dime of her earnings and she'd blow his got damn head off if he tried. This was toying with her life and Usagi wasn't going to take any crap from anyone.  
  
Michiru led Usagi down a small flight of stairs into a dim ruby colored wall enclosing before a door marked: "Dressing Room" and she stopped Usagi the music muffled bit by bit to their ears. Michiru pressed Usagi against one wall outside the dressing room and her eyes raced into Usagi's. Michiru was about to apologize. There was something different about Usagi to her and she wasn't going to let the blond… she just couldn't…  
  
"Go," Michiru spoke.  
  
Usagi frowned her eyes confused but didn't want to speak.  
  
Michiru closed her eyes for a short moment then strictly this time with a point of her finger toward the exit she commanded for Usagi to go.  
  
The exit wasn't toward the dressing room but toward the dance floor toward… the escape.  
  
Usagi opened her mouth but Michiru shook her head. "Just go you idiot. Get out of here; you're not ready for this. This would kill you. Just get the hell out."  
  
Huh? Usagi wondered. Was she… letting me go? Allowing me a second chance to make my decision?  
  
Usagi looked sympathetically at the weary Michiru puzzled and confused but barely able to speak.  
  
Releasing me… she's setting me free before I get in too deep. She's allowing me to leave. But… I can't just leave… can I?  
  
Michiru scuffed a laugh. "What're retarded or something? I'm letting you go why are you still here you're suppose to run?"  
  
"Run from what?" Usagi's voice finally was able to choke up.  
  
Michiru narrowed her eyes on Usagi feeling as if she'd judged the girl all to wrong. Usually when Michiru felt like she making a mistake she'd let them go and they'd run immediately but Usagi, Usagi to her had already made her choice and was standing her ground. So but how… how could this young girl be like this?  
  
"Run from all THIS!" Michiru emphasized with her arms out stressfully not understanding why Usagi didn't understand what was going on. Or why she ACTED like she didn't but knew all too well. "Don't you understand you nitwit!? This is hell!"  
  
Usagi shook her head determined to remain strong and stand by her proposals. "No, this isn't hell. Hell is far worst than this… far far worst."  
  
Michiru silenced for a minute her hands on her hips as she eyed the ground her sea green bangs cascading over her eyes. Michiru remembered hell. She remembered what was worst. The abuse from her mother's boyfriend. The neglect and disbelief from her mother. Even though Michiru was twenty-two now those pass things… those were the things of hell. The betrayal of family, which was hell. This place to her was merely an aftershock side effect. She'd been sucked into the business like water down the drain and had not a single regret, but she did have a fear when she invited new girls. Michiru had been around awhile now and knew some of the horrible things that went on. Not only the abusive rape but also the drug abuse that went on. She'd seen many girls' come and go. And many girls find the man they've been waiting for all their life there. But she'd also seen many girls be murdered, she'd discovered bodies behind the club, in the bathroom, she was there. She'd seen the bodies of drug abused women and men collapsed on one another ready to be burned in the fires of hell.  
  
Michiru had seen a lot in her pass nine years. Started when she was fourteen, 4.0 grade student who got lost in the streets of ravaged downhill district Tokyo. And Usagi… Usagi reminded Michiru of herself. Soft but yet so powerful inside not willing to back down but willing to not give it all she got but just to get the damn job done. She saw it in Usagi's eyes; she'd practically saw the betrayal in Usagi. Usagi was doing this all for herself, she wasn't doing this so that she could get the jewelry and the cars and the condos. Usagi was doing this for a dream and it was just pathetic for Michiru to see someone as bright as her be thrown off her path and began dancing around the devil's throne.  
  
"My dad," Usagi choked suddenly explaining to Michiru trying to push away the silence. "My dad… he used to do horrible things to me. I think… no I KNOW; I'm ready for this. Nothing could be worst and I need the money quick and now."  
  
Michiru shook her head pitifully. "You are so obtuse. You're just a stupid little girl."  
  
"I'm not a little girl!" Usagi hollered fist rose. She was sick of it! Sick and got damn tired of her appearances as a little girl! She was more than that. She felt like a solider, a warrior in battle with a goal against the world. She felt strong, not the best but was acknowledged that there was going to be many shocks along the way. Enough was enough to her. She'd seen, heard, and had done what was worst. She wasn't a girl… she was a woman… and more than that… a warrior…  
  
"You know what?" Usagi shrugged taking steps toward the dressing room door. She stopped holding the knob and turned to Michiru. "Go to hell Michiru." Peeling her eyes from a devastated Michiru Usagi opened the door and entered the pink glowing dressing room.  
  
Left behind just looking Michiru watched and couldn't believe her eyes. Why was this little girl not realizing-?  
  
"No," Michiru shook her head menacingly and followed marching in stormy steps. She entered the dressing room right behind Usagi who was already stripping down her clothes and slammed the door shut behind her jangling the mirrors tracing around the walls.  
  
Usagi looked up like a bug at Michiru and other girls within the dressing room watched intensively. Another fight they figured. Michiru, the queen of good hearts but the spirit of good battles. The woman who held it down while the "Queen Bitch" higher in "power" was away on another seductive vacation.  
  
"Listen here you little willow," Michiru pranced throwing her finger into Usagi's face her teeth gritting with frustration. As much as Michiru often battled with girls she didn't want to fight Usagi, she wanted Usagi to understand and the only way she knew how was to goad her slightly with attitude. To make Usagi see this wasn't really that kind of place to have dreams. That she'd lied because she saw Usagi as being vulnerable. This wasn't a place for someone as Usagi to have dreams because… all those with dreams never got to them and it was Michiru's fault for inviting the majority of them. She'd lied to all of them just like she lied to Usagi. No one ever leaves the ring without getting killed. For Michiru to have another guilty but unregretable conscious just shouldn't be the highlight of her year.  
  
"What now?" Usagi asked throwing the sleeve of her tank top back onto her pale shoulders.  
  
Michiru shoot a glance at several girls watching and ignored them turning back to Usagi. "Usagi you CAN'T do this. I lied. I lied about everything, girls with dreams come here and they die Usagi. They die."  
  
She'd hoped Usagi got that but the blond stood her ground her head held high.  
  
"Damnit are you listening," Michiru pressed. "Do I have to f***ing knock you out you idiot! People DIE here! If not mentally then physically! You can't allow yourself to be here! GO! Go find your dreams cause you won't find them here!"  
  
"Michiru shut the f*** up babbling to that girl, damnit," a soft voice spoke into bravely where others feared to tread. Usagi and Michiru watched as a rather tall dark haired girl came stepping out from behind an open locker door slamming it shut then puffed her palms at her shortly cut neck-length black hair. "You're always being such a bitch. Don't make up excuses because the new girl looks like a killer to those dogs upstairs."  
  
"Hotaru," Michiru grated her teeth lowly. Michiru's rival.  
  
Hotaru, yet another victim, a once careless girl who was invited to join the club when a friend suggested they run away together. Hotaru unfortunately lost her friend years ago to what the club HAD to offer and remained just the same. Tall, boldly beautiful and exotic, the tempest of every men's desire… the Mistress. A black cloaked wave of a web and still only eighteen.  
  
Hotaru walked toward one of the vanity mirrors giving Usagi a look up and down and took her place sitting combing at her hair dressed in black a see-through spidery outfit.  
  
Hotaru looked at Michiru and Usagi through her mirror as she brushed her finely cut hair. To her Michiru was of course the flunk but also her rival which was an exciting thing to Hotaru.  
  
"Why can't you just stay out of other peoples' business Hotaru?" Michiru's voice boomed.  
  
"What business," Hotaru responded indifferently. "You're the one who came busting in here announcing all that bull so don't even."  
  
Usagi was kind of struck between the two as she listened and watched.  
  
Michiru wasn't in the mood to argue but she was in the mood to give up. She felt like there was nothing else she could really do. Usagi had to learn it all the hard way. The very, very, very, very, hard way. That is, if she survived.  
  
Her eyes rolling from Hotaru back to Usagi. Michiru looked her deep in the eyes and told the solid blond that she was giving up. Told Usagi to look through the racks, find her an outfit, and get ready while Michiru herself was going upstairs to get Usagi a drink.  
  
"If you're really going to do this," Michiru spoke delicately. "You're going to need something that would drone you on out. Something that won't make you think… just act."  
  
Slipping off her tank top Usagi nodded and Michiru started to exit giving Usagi on last look from the door. One last pathetic look. "Silly bitch…" Michiru mouthed leaving outside the dressing room.  
  
The door shut, thinking she'd heard her Usagi looked… empty.  
  
"Well, well, well, so Lucy-Loose-Legs has finally left the building," Hotaru joked admiring her nails.  
  
A roar of giggles evade around the dressing room. Usagi barely heard it as she made her way to the row after row after row of skimpy clothing on racks. She idly looked through them confused and not sure of what she wanted to try on. What would look appealing and comfortable to her and her… company? One that could possibly bring her a lot of money-  
  
"Try this one."  
  
Usagi looked up and there stood Hotaru at the end of the third row of racks holding up a navy blue loose mini skirt and a top which was nothing but a long scarf to Usagi.  
  
When Hotaru saw that Usagi was comfortable with her presence she moved in closer watching the blond resist to avoid her eyes while she stood there among the racks in her panties and bra. Usagi HATED being the new person in any situation. All the adjusting, finding the people you do enjoy being with and those you don't. Getting comfortable with your atmosphere. It was painful but she didn't care. Three days and it was all over.  
  
Trusting Hotaru's suggestion but hating the outfit all together Usagi agreed.  
  
"Okay then drop them," Hotaru commanded nodding her head to what little dressing Usagi was wearing.  
  
Usagi giggled nervously. "You've got to be kidding me. I have to wear something-"  
  
"No you're not. So drop them," Hotaru cut in.  
  
And as uneasy as ever Usagi giving Hotaru a drawing look began to strip of her clothing before the dark haired girl who watched Usagi sizing up her young body. To Hotaru it was okay, better than others and would prove to be a moneymaker.  
  
Usagi naked and feeling cold with her arms wrapped around her chest and her legs pinched closed tight together took the skirt from Hotaru first and slipped it on quickly feeling embarrassed that she had nothing under it and the skirt was so short riding up her poor thin thighs. Hotaru then helped Usagi with the top, which she wrapped around Usagi's breast tight like a Christmas present ending it with a bow before Usagi's chest.  
  
The blond felt like a clown and Hotaru looked her over.  
  
"Shoes, shoes, shoes, shoes," Hotaru, pondered ideally. Once the idea struck she went dashing to the shoes rack leaving Usagi along feeling like an idiot.  
  
"It's my first night and I'm already looking like a tramp. Why couldn't I've worn what she was wearing something," she looked down at her outfit, "not so… breezy."  
  
"Here," Hotaru threw a pair of glittery red boots at Usagi's feet. "Zip them up and let's roll."  
  
"Huh?" Usagi asked starting to place on the boots standing, she didn't want to sit placing the heavy boots on afraid of… the chills. And it was a struggle just standing in the boots which made her up a few inches higher.  
  
Holding on to the top of the rack Usagi skirmished to maintain her balance while Hotaru swooped up her under clothes and what else Usagi left on one of the vanities and stuffed them into an empty locker.  
  
"Time for the make up," Hotaru cheered and Usagi, happy to finally be able to sit, smiled flakily. Her bare butt slamming roughly into the wood chair before one mirror where she looked and all she could see was a stranger. A girl that was all grown up now and wasn't really her. As best she could Usagi tried not to look at her image and tried to think about Shingo, and tried to think about blaming all this on her father. The whole damn thing was his fault.  
  
I wouldn't be here if he hadn't been so injudicious as to…. She thought. No way was it mom's fault. She couldn't control the fact that she died in the crash. It was his fault. HIS FAULT! HIS FAULT! HIS FAULT!  
  
"I HOPE YOU DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" she suddenly screamed at her reflection her eyes burning and her face flustered with fire.  
  
The dressing room grew silent and the girls watched Usagi's outburst giving her weird looks but the blond remained wheezing angry at herself at EVERYTHING staring at her reflection imaging blood, imaging death.  
  
Feeling not the least bit embarrassed Usagi looked away from the mirror and threw her elbows on the vanity top while her palms held her soggy sweaty forehead.  
  
Don't cry, she told herself. Don't. Don't. Don't cry. I know you want to but don't cry. You can't cry. Think about Shingo; think about our future. Just don't cry.  
  
Hotaru stepped up a minute later demanding that Usagi try to keep her personal issues outside the club and began to use a wet towel (ME ME ME ME() to dabble at all the dirt over Usagi's body and face.  
  
"We'll worry about washing your hair some other time, right now you need to get out there. Besides those hounds rarely care about the hair and you got some pretty hair regardless," Hotaru commented.  
  
"Th – thanks," groaned Usagi.  
  
About time Michiru came back with a glass of alcohol Hotaru had finished glitterizing Usagi. Usagi's hair was done back up into her buns and pigtails that Hotaru failed to do so Usagi done it herself while Hotaru finished her make up making Usagi look somewhat-  
  
Michiru looked Usagi over. "Now Michiru, why do all the new girls under your make-up guidance look like fraught smuts?"  
  
"At least their not one like you," Hotaru countered dabbing a little more blush on Usagi's pale cheeks.  
  
"Please girl. You're the only one here who'll sleep with a guy with or without any money."  
  
"I resent that," Hotaru scowled pausing to giving Michiru a dirty look. "Besides I'm not the slut who gave it up to that old bag Hino to get somewhere on top. Bet you didn't have much room to open that big mouth of yours from under his desk."  
  
Michiru didn't reject… it was all true.  
  
"Uh-huh, like I thought," Hotaru smiled into Usagi's face with a wink. "There."  
  
Usagi half smiled trying to keep it from Michiru who'd obviously seen it and looked away into the ceiling sighing. "So are we going to get this girl ready or what?"  
  
"Didn't I say I was done!?" Hotaru spat giving Usagi's bangs another bouncy brush.  
  
"Well then stop!"  
  
"I am stopping see!?" Hotaru threw the brush on the vanity and eyed up at Michiru warningly. "Happy?"  
  
"Yes," Michiru said dryly pushing Hotaru out of the way. Michiru brought herself down to Usagi's sitting level holding up the glass of alcohol. She wasn't going to try and convince Usagi anymore. Just let her figure it out on her own. But if only she'd seen it before then all the lies wouldn't have had to be told and Usagi would be free.  
  
Michiru did notice Usagi was nervous. "It's going to be alright. Here, drink this," she handed Usagi the glass. "It will calm you down and loosen you up some. But don't worry I'm going to be with you the whole time just don't… don't leave from my sight okay?"  
  
Usagi nodded holding the cold glass.  
  
"But what do I do? To get the money?"  
  
"Dance!" Hotaru jumped in.  
  
"Shut up you little witch," Michiru spat.  
  
Hotaru started to attack but didn't bother. Assuming she didn't have to take Michiru's crap, with her nose in the air Hotaru turned and started to go upstairs to make that money.  
  
Michiru took the glass from Usagi and sat it on the vanity and took Usagi's hand leading her to an area of the dressing room where full-length mirrors went around the walls.  
  
"Here let me show you," Michiru insisted placing Usagi before her. Michiru took Usagi's hands as they both looked into the mirror and held Usagi slowly caressingly moving her hips and stomach soothingly against Usagi hoping Usagi would get the beat and follow. Slowly Usagi began to follow suit with Michiru's rhythmic moving. "Just sway with it girl. Think about being at home, dancing naked in the mirror. All that freedom with nobody to see you. Just go with it. Let it all out and move your body. Tease them lace your hand across your chest, thumb your lips, feel sexy, feel untouchable, feel powerful like you have them under your control."  
  
Michiru moved away and Usagi looked even more nervous. "You got it?" Michiru asked.  
  
"I… I – I think so."  
  
"Good now drink down that glass and let's move it. Practice a little. You got seven minutes to be ready."  
  
Usagi swallowed. She drunk down the alcohol choking the whole way taking each gulp at a time. She wasn't affected immediately.  
  
"Body must not be getting it yet," Michiru noted. "It'll take time, let's go."  
  
The two made tracks. A nervous Usagi feeling like she was about to leap out of her skin as they made their way to the VIP. Inside the isolated room filed with red dim lights with matching walls, Chinese lanterns, and a small fountain Usagi stepped in subsequently. Only about nine men and four girls at their company. They eyed Usagi like meat and she felt so ashamed as they looked licking their lips and opening their legs out to her flashing money anxious and ready. Several others were busy with the other working girls that were showing off their chest and servicing to the men as a tease. And the room smelled awful, heavy liquor, smoke, and sex. Usagi near vomiting struggled to keep focus it didn't last when-  
  
WHACK! A sharp palm smacked her bottom from under her skirt painfully aching and she turned to look at the trespasser with Michiru at her side.  
  
"Let's have it baby!" the drunk man went about goofily. The fool. "Let's give it on UP!"  
  
"Do you got some got (god)-damn money?" Michiru demanding angrily. The man just looked. "Well shut the fu** up before I kick your ass!"  
  
"Ooooooooooo!" the man made a face rearing up. "Sexy! Sexy!"  
  
"Shut up you dumb ass!" Michiru rolled her eyes telling Usagi not to mind them and to remember that if a man touches you before paying then they don't have any money and shouldn't be bothered with.  
  
Usagi remembered that all to well trying to avoid the urge to rub her behind. It felt like spikes.  
  
Up against a sofa Michiru led Usagi where one middle-age Japanese man dressed in a business suit sat with two girls who quickly removed themselves from off him at Michiru's wake.  
  
"Princess, meet the Doctor our local regular. Doctor meet Princess," Michiru introduced. The doctor was always the first one to try the new girls…  
  
"Nice to meet you your highness," Doctor took Usagi's right hand and planted a kiss.  
  
"How… ho – how could I be of any service to you?" Usagi asked meekly.  
  
Usagi's eyes suddenly snapped open and she gasped at the heavy snoring figure resting next to her under the warm sheets. Sunlight was spewing through the hotel room into her eyes and Usagi remembered everything. Every single detail of her first night. The doctor invited her to his hotel instead of one of the private rooms in the club and the two did business simple as that. Usagi doing whatever he asked and was privileged to have been able to have not done much at all. The whole time she didn't think or feel, she just felt… she just let go with the help of Michiru's drink. She didn't speak as she brought himself onto her, she didn't say anything, when he asked to say his name her mouth was dry. After having her sick father on her abusively what did it matter? It was his pleasure not hers and she demanded for him to stay protected as he was being pleased. As sick as it was Usagi found some sense of relief in what happened. She felt no longer afraid but stronger. No longer a little girl but someone able to make their own decisions now.  
  
Quiet and carefully Usagi slipped her naked long body out of bed and immediate shuffled on her clothes she had worn from the club as best she could and quickly went into the doctor's wallet. The two estimated the payment right before the actual service but Usagi wasn't having it. She wanted more and the blond stifled out what bills the doctor had and two credit cards along the way. She then went into his hotel closet where he kept his jacket and took that to wear among the streets over her outfit that early morning. Covering herself as best she could she made her way to the door stopped and turned to look at the sleeping man spread wide on the bed and wondered…  
  
What if his family figures out? What would his wife do? And what if my own father did something like this? Those nights where he DIDN'T come home. How awful it might have been for him without a wife anymore. No, but that was still not a single excuse for him to target me.  
  
Flustered with dissatisfaction Usagi concluded that the man worked poorly in bed and exited for the man to wake up in surprise. Him reporting anything to Hino or coming after Usagi himself seemed unlegislated to her even though she tried to drunken him out to his death with constant drinks. Ultimately it was something she wasn't going to worry about. It was early morning and a battered worn make-up face Usagi worked her way through the elegant carpeting of the hotel toward the elevator striding as fast as she could with a frown on her face trying to just run, run away from everything and not think about it all. Not think about her past and to move on. She hoped quickly into the elevator just as it was about to close with one of the bellboys at rescues Usagi thanked him and entered quietly with a smile along with an older woman and an older man who stood in one corner of the elevator eyeing her with loath.  
  
Through the corners of her eyes she saw the woman whisper into the man's ear as they went about explaining the indecency of who Usagi was soon to be… a prostitute.  
  
Did Usagi care?  
  
Nope. All she thought about was the two credit cards and bills she kept in the pockets of the man's coat, her hands whisking around through them with joy realizing everything wasn't so bad after all.  
  
Ding.  
  
First floor…  
  
The bellboy stepped out first trailing Usagi who turned around and stuck a finger at the old woman and man who gasped with a dainty: "Oh my word…"  
  
Usagi cheerfully rampaging her easy quick fast success in her pockets managed to skip her way through the front hotel lobby and out onto the streets of Tokyo heading for the club to gather up her clothes then head to the boathouse.  
  
Usagi didn't find Michiru or Hotaru as she'd wanted to. The club was empty of course but of a few girls who did some work rounds while it was close. Usagi walked happily across the dance floor to the opposite side down into the dressing room, which was empty. She quickly made a change pulling her jeans, tank top, underclothes, and sweat jacket out of her locker. Wiped the make up from her face, let her hair down back out of its buns and pigtails, which were already ravaged and then sighed looking at her in the mirror.  
  
"It was that easy," she told her reflection. "That easy and fast."  
  
Suddenly the door of the dressing room opened up and in peeked another working girl. Usagi turned in surprise.  
  
"Hey Princess the boss wants to see you," the girl informed.  
  
"Tell him I'm not here," Usagi replied starting toward the girl with dangerous steps.  
  
"But he saw you come in through the monitor so he-"  
  
"Didn't I just say tell him I'm not here," Usagi grated her teeth into the girl's face.  
  
The girl swallowed and nodded keeping the door open for Usagi who dashed out going back into the streets.  
  
Usagi's good mood faded when she got back to the boathouse that early morning. Shingo was up, had been waiting all night for her since she left for the hospital and was munching on a bowl of cereal while watching cartoons on Haruka's portable TV. Haruka herself was still at the hospital and two of the gang girls were still asleep who Usagi ordered to watch Shingo.  
  
"Usagi!" Shingo greeted cheerfully flopping off his stool running to give his sister a hug that stood nimbly at the boathouse door. Usagi gave him a small hug back but her mind seemed far off because for once, once she saw Shingo she felt guilty and felt… sick. "Jeez you stink," Shingo commented. "Where'd you sleep last night? A dumpster?"  
  
Usagi laughed deprecatingly pulling her brother from off her telling him she was going to go shower.  
  
"Ummm, okay, glad you're back."  
  
"Thanks," she rubbed his head.  
  
Shingo jumped back on his stool and got back to his cereal and cartoons.  
  
Forcing herself to walk Usagi moved through the cramp boathouse to the small bathroom holding the walls and once there she closed the door behind her, her head spinning and her stomach flip-flopping inside her. She clicked the dim light above the mirror and looked at her reflected. She felt like a monster once again. And it would have all been so easy for her if she weren't doing this for Shingo. Out there it was easy, easy even for her first day to let the work just drive her, but once she got back to her brother's heart it became a battle between emotions. The easy feelings were gone and the guilty ones were back. The dark ones. The insane ones.  
  
Reaching into her sweat jacket pockets Usagi tossed all the bills and the two credit cards onto the sink and covered her tired hands over her eyes slowly moving them through the racking of her hair. Looking at her inhuman self.  
  
Sure, the money was fast and easy, and she needed it but the whole emotional ups and down process behind it involving Shingo resulting in just one night. Was she strong and willing enough to handle this? At least for two more days? Could she work loose at nights but come home remorseful at daybreak to see her brother's innocent face. The innocence he held but she didn't… no… both their innocence was gone. Shingo killed their father and Usagi, in order to take care of him, was reduced to being someone's bitch prostituting and shuffling around someone else's, Grandpa Hino's, money. Grandpa Hino, the man in charge, the supposing pimp.  
  
No, Usagi wasn't playing that game. He was more of an investment to her than she was to him. He got her the easy jobs where she wouldn't have to walk the streets where the men came to her all in one and different attributes, he was getting nothing in return and that was plain and simple.  
  
Usagi was about to vomit. Her stomach seemed to punch in until she flushed out the burning sensation into the toilet. The strewing speedy acid liquid going throughout her into space and down into the toilet like an exorcism. She held her hair back with each heaving pounce. Like she was relieving herself of a dispatching massive of demons who'd turned her life upside down with one walk on the streets, with one conversation, with one parent's death… her mother's.  
  
Stopping at a coughing choke the blond held her aching throat feeling finished. No more demons. Yeah right, they were still there.  
  
The toilet flushed and Usagi lifted up back at her reflection and began gathering up her collection wrapping them up and placing it in the corner near the soap dish on the sink. Feeling sick and in need of sleep she began to strip herself of her clothing as she ran the shower water even though wanting to take a bath. Once inside the shower she felt somewhat clean. All those nasty feelings, that stranger's touches, they seemed to wash away bit by bit. The sweat, the heat, everything, she tried to wash it all way. To clean herself. Scrubbing herself hard until her skin felt raw. Wash the smells out of her hair. Wash! Wash! Wash! Wash! Wash! Wash it all away; be free of it.  
  
It was an hour before Usagi felt like she was a clean good girl and she stepped out of the shower and was immediately rushed with a knock on the door.  
  
"Usagi!" Shingo's small voice exploded in panic.  
  
The girl wrapped a towel around her and opened the door wet dripping and her skin aching like fire. Shingo stood there before the door shaking his hands as she pointed toward the front of the boathouse where he once was and stuttering as he explained…  
  
"Us – Usagi Haruka has been arrested!"  
  
"Wha – what?"  
  
The two kids pushed their way toward the portable TV Usagi's bare cold wet body chilling itself like ice with each step. They peered into the tiny TV where a dark haired woman stood outside the Tokyo Police Department with her microphone in hand and behind her was Haruka being led handcuffed by a dark-haired officer up the stairs and into the station.  
  
"… The young lady hasn't did anything proven YET so the police department expects but her and a local doctor, which name we won't reveal, has been placed under arrest for questioning in the case of two missing children the actual arrest made just an hour ago…"  
  
The screened flashed and once again there was Shingo and Usagi's once happy faces, which sent chills up both their spines.  
  
"… From the incident a few nights ago involving the murder of their father. Now these two arrested here may be involved with this case and the questioning should prove to be vigorous by the officers unless set out on bail. The police department has reason to believe that one of the missing children were at the hospital last night in the company of these two women. The doctor herself under some unknown circumstances aided one of the children from arrest.  
  
"Now reports aren't clear on the case of the children and their deceased murdered father. The police are still looking into the case of whether this was a murder and kidnap or that ONE of the actual children murdered their father. Apparently now with the notation that one of the children appeared at the hospital last night that the idea of kidnap might not be the case after all…"  
  
I didn't! I didn't! I didn't! I didn't! Usagi's head screamed. I didn't! I didn't! I didn't! I didn't!  
  
"What're we going to do?" Shingo asked frighten looking at a deranged Usagi who held her hands cupped over her ears steadily walking backwards shaking her head. "What's wrong!?"  
  
"I didn't!" she chanted this time out loud. "I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't."  
  
"Didn't what!? What's wrong with you!?"  
  
"I DIDN'TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!" Usagi flew from the room. The walls were closing in on her. Closing suffocating her. Choking her. Depriving her of her sanity. One trap after another. One insane stunt after another. One life to pay after another.  
  
"What's going on?" one of the gang girls asked waking up from her sleep as Usagi struggled to put on her clothes in the room with her. Usagi couldn't speak. She was going insane. "Usagi what's going on!? Who was yelling!?"  
  
"Haruka's been arrested!" Shingo chirped up walking into the room just as his sister was dressed.  
  
The girl shot out of one of the bunks. "Arrested? What? What for?"  
  
Shingo shrugged.  
  
"I have to go get her," Usagi managed to speak through her panic brushing her hair with hard long hair-pulling strokes. "I have to go save her."  
  
"No, no, no, no, waittttttttt a minute," the girl stepped before her. "You can't go you're on the loose girlfriend."  
  
"I HAVE TO GO SAVE HERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" Usagi then roared with fire screaming, screaming, all that horrible screaming.  
  
SW-WACK!  
  
The pain. The shocking pain echoing through her cheeks sent a signal. A fire to her brain. She… she was getting a whole again. She was regaining some sense of herself again. That trepidation, that demon who told her to get out of control, who told her to go insane suddenly tucked itself back into the corners of her brain and Usagi just looked at her, the girl who'd slapped her redden cheek trying to make the pain go away, trying to make the demons disperse.  
  
Usagi and the girl just looked at each other. And looked. The girl didn't look angry she looked afraid of Usagi. Afraid of those… eyes. Those same eyes. Those wild insane eyes.  
  
"Oh my god," Usagi moaned eyes wide like wildfire. "I'm losing my mind." Her hands trembling violently before her face.  
  
She began to crumble to the floor but the girl caught her holding her shoulders. "No you're not. You're just stressed you've been through a lot. Go to sleep and let me handle this."  
  
"But-"  
  
"Goooooo, to sleep," the girl pressed foremost the shaken blond toward the bunk she previously was resting in. She settled Usagi in comfortable and Usagi told her…  
  
"In the bathroom, take two of those credit cards do whatever you can with them."  
  
The girl nodded. "Okay. I'll do it only if you stay here and rest. Go to sleep."  
  
Usagi swallowed. "Sleep, okay."  
  
"Shingo go bring your sister a glass of water."  
  
Shingo scurried out the room quickly feeling ailing of those eyes Usagi had planted in his mind. Those awful eyes. As he poured the glass of water for his sister he nearly dropped the glass because of the intensely of those eyes playing through his brain.  
  
Shingo was too afraid to give Usagi the glass of water, all he could do was leave it near to her on the floor while she picked it up herself without question.  
  
Mamoru looked around throwing his hand through his hair exhausted at Haruka's constant cursing and unwillingness to cooperate. What did it TAKE for him to make the girl shut her trap about everything else and tell him what he wanted to know? It's been nearly an hour since they investigated the hospital and took the girl and a doctor under arrest. Mamoru could barely deal with it any longer. Time and time again it was always the same thing when it came to her arrest.  
  
Tired Mamoru looked one more time at Haruka in the confessional small isolated room with a desk and two chairs and a nasty glowing pale light. "Please, please, please, please," he begged. "Tell me someth-"  
  
"Kiss my ass," she spat before he could finish.  
  
"Got damnit!" Mamoru shot up, lifted the heavy wood chair and tossed it into a corner.  
  
Haruka just looked.  
  
Heaving his fist clinched at his side Mamoru started to acquire back his cool. He couldn't lose it. Not now.  
  
"Alright," he sighed rubbing down his tie. "I won't ask you anyyyyyyyyy more questions. I'll just be leaving right out of your way."  
  
Mamoru stepped toward the door, opened, looked back at her. "See, I'm leaving. Oneeeeeeeee step at a time."  
  
Haruka just looked.  
  
"SAY SOMETHING DAMNIT!" Mamoru roared again.  
  
"STOP YELLING AT ME YOU CLOD!"  
  
Mamoru shook his finger at her. "See that's a good one right there. Calling me a clod."  
  
"Go to hell."  
  
Mamoru slammed the door shut and outside out of Haruka's sight began to grind his joints in frustration this teeth flaking in mid-grind.  
  
"Coffee?" Motoki offered outside the door from nowhere.  
  
"Yeah," Mamoru took the cup and gulped it down in one swallow tossing the empty paper cup behind him as Setsuna's exotic body came streaming toward them.  
  
"What a day, what a day," she sung the three of them eyeing one another outside the confessional. "The girl's about to be set free."  
  
"Free?" Mamoru narrowed his eyes.  
  
"Yeah, someone came up with the cash or something. Still didn't get anything out of her?"  
  
"Not a thing," Motoki replied for Mamoru slowly massaging his tense shoulders. "This case is getting really ridicules. I mean the chief told us not to get on it but why are we three still like trying?"  
  
"I don't know," Setsuna answered. "We should be thinking about other things shouldn't we?"  
  
There was a pause.  
  
"Well I'm going to figure this out if it kills me," Mamoru said darkly giving the floor a cold eye. "Even if it kills me alright." 


	5. Chapter 5

NAME: Towel (10/18/01)  
  
E-MAIL: MoonTowel18@msn.com  
  
TITLE: Papa-Kenji… Please No More  
  
RATING: PG-13  
  
NOTE: This is part B of the pervious chapter. This is the shortest chapter, which hits the climax of the story meant to be a teaser(  
  
DISCLAIMER: Sailor Moon 1992-2001. Naoko Takeuchi. Kondansha Ltd. And Toei Animation.  
  
THANKS: Naoko  
  
~~~~~~~~~~PAPA-KENJI… PLEASE NO MORE~~~~~~~~~~  
  
CHAPTER 5  
  
Haruka and Usagi stood quietly together over-looking the ocean from over the thick railing bars that hung along the top jetty. Foamy white ocean waves clasping against the ancient boulders below like a sad song. Seagull birds tweeting through the air in screams like the scavengers they were against the blazing setting orange lights cased crossed the antediluvian sky.  
  
The sun, Usagi thought to herself. How beautiful. Makes me become willed with hope once more and again. But also of danger. It's setting makes me realize with each glow that I have to go back into the other world. The other world… the world of darkness. Dark streets. The heavy repellent world…  
  
Usagi's thoughts then turned back toward Haruka. She wanted to know what was on Haruka's brain. Wondering why Haruka peeled her from out of the boathouse just to come talk to her up on the cliff side but once there… Haruka manipulated to saying absolutely nothing. Haruka just looked, looked out at the glittering ocean her long tan ponytail fanning like a cat's tail in the salty ocean breeze. Her eyes, stern and forward as she leaned in a world all to herself. Or was it all to herself? Was there a tiny part of her that was there with Usagi wanting to break down some terrible news not sure how.  
  
The jail thing, Usagi figured.  
  
The blond had it all mapped out. She knew it was time for Haruka to let her and her brother go. To end it all. To kick them out of her boathouse and out of her life. The subtle good times were over and as much as Usagi wanted out of that hole she didn't exactly have anywhere else to go at the present time. She needed to stay there.  
  
But the anticipation…  
  
The weight of Haruka's silence was like cutting through meat and bone.  
  
Usagi's cold ashy pale hands gripped the top of the bar over-looking the sea and she leaned back a little almost childishly trying to get Haruka's attention. Trying to make the woman realize that she was still there waiting for whatever she had to tell her without Usagi having to ask. She was afraid of asking and was afraid of what Haruka had to tell her. She had the nerve to just forget it all and take her brother and just leave with no questions asked. But maybe it would all prove to be wrong.  
  
When Haruka wasn't responding Usagi stopped and rested her chin on the cold bar and gave Haruka a side-look. A curious side-look in wonderment.  
  
Usagi knew it was her fault. Her fault all this happened. Her fault Makoto was going through heavy surgery and probably somewhere in critical condition. Usagi knew the whole thing was her fault. But she knew it wasn't her fault her mother died, and it wasn't her fault her father abused her. But it was her fault for not telling anyone and letting what shouldn't have been… been. She couldn't even estimate the onus Shingo was carrying on his tiny shoulders over all that has happened in the pass days. It was too incredible for them both. But Usagi could understand, understand Haruka's hatred for taking her sister away from her to where now she wasn't able to go to the hospital again maybe without the risk of being arrested.  
  
Then there was Doctor Mizuno…  
  
Arrested for questioning…  
  
What did she tell them? And why was all this happening to her? Why was this happening to ANYBODY!?  
  
Usagi wondered on and off how was Doctor Mizuno doing. Was she angry? Hurt? Revengeful? Was this arrest somehow inflicting on her up and rising career? Unless Usagi risked her life to go ask there was no way her and Doctor Mizuno could get in contact with one another.  
  
It wasn't until Usagi started to give up heading down hill to the boathouse to get ready for what the night had to offer before Haruka spoke up stopping Usagi in her tracks floating among her river of blond hair turning.  
  
Haruka continued to stare out into the ocean with a stifled laugh.  
  
"It's funny," Haruka chuckled lightly.  
  
"What's funny?" Usagi asked as gently as she could not to override Haruka and her emotions like before.  
  
"That all this is happening."  
  
Usagi held her heart.  
  
Haruka continued. "I mean it was BAD before but now all THIS," she chuckled again. "It's ridiculous. I mean come on. I'm alone again. I haven't been arrested nearly three years and suddenly you come somewhere into my life and I'm starting all over again."  
  
"I –" Usagi tried to utter but Haruka held up a hand.  
  
"Just… just don't even say it. I don't want to hear you say it anymore because I'm tired of it."  
  
"Oh," Usagi's eyes floated toward the dirt. But she was sorry. Sorry for everything and why couldn't she be able to express that? Why was Haruka making her hold it back? Was it really because Usagi said it so often it became painful and pathetic?  
  
"As much as I want to boot you on out I can't right now," Haruka continued resting her hand back on the bar still looking out at the ocean. "I just can't. Not now. I feel like with you here, and Shingo, I have another little sister and even a brother. Of course neither of you can replace Makoto but you know; it brings out that sister motherly side of me. That good feeling. And seeing that you two need so much help," Haruka looked with a grin toward Usagi. A teary grin. "You know, I have something to live for, to fight for, I have a reason to keep going."  
  
"But Makoto's coming back soon enough," Usagi tried to appear believing. "Then me and Shingo will be out of your hair and everything will be like normal for you too."  
  
Haruka's grin faded and she shook her head eyeing Usagi austerely. "You just don't get it do you?"  
  
The look in Haruka's eyes spared a twitch through Usagi's body and voice. "Get… get what?"  
  
"Get the fact that my sister is dead-"  
  
"NO!" Usagi covered her ears. "Don't say stuff like that! I don't want to hear it!"  
  
Haruka charged toward Usagi and peeled her hands away from her ears with a might jerk which felt like Usagi's wrist were practically going to split and Usagi felt Haruka's dark shadow over her and could feel her hot steamy aura of air radiate destruction on her pale skin.  
  
Usagi was afraid to open her eyes and look at Haruka. Afraid, afraid, afraid, afraid…  
  
"It's your fault so you have to hear it!" Haruka shrieked tears soothing down her cheeks. "It's your fault so you have to hear this! Hear how much I hate you and how much I wish you'd never came into my life and how much I wish you were dead because you're useless and trashy!"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Usagi screamed her own tears. She didn't want to hear those awful things. Those awful awful things. How she was nobody, a useless nobody. Why was the world turning against her now? Why was she suddenly a victim of the horrors of… somebody who was… nobody?  
  
With a prodigious cry and a tug Usagi released her wrist from Haruka's grasp and pushed Haruka from her path and flew off toward the boathouse prepared to say good-night to Shingo and fire her way toward the club.  
  
"I'll show her," Usagi told herself aloud wiping her tear-felt eyes as she went streaming along. "I'll show her that I can take care of myself and my brother."  
  
________________________________________________________  
  
  
  
Opening his front door Mamoru sighed with exhaustion and immediately dropped his keys on the front table, then let his bag loose from his shoulders and started walking through the house pulling off his coat and tie toward the answering machine where he pushed the call up button.  
  
"YOU HAVE NO MESSAGES," it responded.  
  
"Great, great, great-great-great," he mumbled his way into the kitchen where he hit the refrigerator for a glass of orange juice. On second thought he decided to drink it straight from the cartoon leaning against the rumbling pastel cold machine.  
  
Another fight with Motoki, he's mind conjured out the argument that took place not hours ago. Why do he and Setsuna really think I'm obsessed over that missing girl?  
  
Mamoru dropped the empty cartoon of orange juice into the trash and wiped his mouth on his sleeve then moved over to the counter leaning against it just watching the cordless phone that rested silently on the cutting board where'd he'd left it last night.  
  
Mamoru just looked at the phone hope, wishing it would ring and Motoki would be on the other side. The two could apologize and make up and everything would be back to normal.  
  
But the phone just sat there…  
  
Mamoru closed his eyes for a second remembering the argument right after Haruka was somehow set free.  
  
Mamoru had removed the picture from his pocket in his office along with Motoki and Setsuna. At his desk he looked at the picture of the girl, blond buns and pigtails. That mysterious girl he seems so drawn to figure out who she was and what happened to her. Someone was innocent and pure- looking as her murdered somewhere made him shiver.  
  
Motoki placed his tired hands on his hips throwing his eyes around in a circle from within is sockets. "Herrrrrrrrreeeeeeee we go again," he drawled.  
  
Mamoru didn't really hear him.  
  
"I know," Setsuna agreed. "Him and that girl. Makes me wonder if he's turning straight." Setsuna smiled at herself.  
  
"Tch! Please," Motoki scorned. "That's really lame Setsuna."  
  
"Well, well," she held up her hands as if protecting herself from Motoki's glare. The tall woman turned toward the door. "I'll let you take your anger out on Mamoru just leave me on out of it."  
  
Setsuna exited with the door blinds rattling in her retreat.  
  
"I just can't figure out-"  
  
"Shut up about that damn picture!" Motoki cried with a snatch for the photo. This time Mamoru didn't dance to retrieve it. He simply looked at Motoki and demanded calmly for the blond to hand the picture over.  
  
This time Motoki wasn't playing. "What's wrong with you!? All of a sudden you've been acting like a zombie everything this damn picture is around and- !"  
  
"Give it back!" Mamoru launched to his feet his voice raising. "You play too much give me the photograph."  
  
"No!" Motoki held the photograph close to his chest. "I'm getting rid of this piece of crap before I have to send you to some physiologies."  
  
Motoki headed for the door.  
  
"NO!" Mamoru crossed over his desk ramming himself into Motoki's back against the door. The two men squashed against the door while Mamoru wrestled to take the photograph from Motoki's unforgiving hands.  
  
"Get off me!" Motoki cried trying to push Mamoru from behind him but Mamoru refused as he reached and clawed his way through Motoki's arms into the hold of the photograph. "Take it!" Motoki pushed Mamoru off him. "Take the damn thing and shove it Mamoru." With a flicking off Motoki stepped out slamming the door rattling the blinds until they toppled to the floor of Mamoru's office.  
  
With the picture tight in his hands Mamoru just watched Motoki leave feeling weird inside. Feeling as if… as much as he wanted to go after Motoki and apologize, he just couldn't. Everything felt better once he looked back at the picture. That same hypnotizing picture, that beautiful innocent girl…  
  
Mamoru shook the water from his face and moved from his leaning on the sink. He rubbed his tired eyes and glanced back at the phone. Silence still.  
  
"Feel like I'm loosing my mind," he told himself out loud then made a shift to take the photo out of his pocket but stopped. "No… not now."  
  
I need a drink, Mamoru noted to himself. A drink to get my mind off things. Off that picture and off Motoki. Maybe after a drink I could confront Motoki… put things back in place.  
  
Mamoru headed to his room still contemplating and thinking.  
  
A drink. One drink then everything would be better. No more stress. I could get a better night sleep now. Maybe I should just really give this case up and concentrate a little more on Motoki than before and not… that girl.  
  
One thing Mamoru hated was fighting with Mamoru and the always-coming hush between them. It aggravated Mamoru more than anything when he was always in need of someone to talk to there be Motoki. Today it was a drink to help him push aside everything to allow himself some room to sort.  
  
______________________________________________________  
  
  
  
With a sweaty wet face and his black hair matted to his face the man under the warm sheets next to Usagi looked over her and smiled. She ignored the smile and ignored him even more when he asked was it as good to him as it was for her.  
  
"Shut up, I asked you not to speak," Usagi snapped and turned from his face rolling her body over opposite of the stranger.  
  
"Hey sorry," the man reached the touch her warm shoulders but she pushed him away.  
  
"It's over. Hand over what you owe and get on your way."  
  
The man looked shocked at Usagi's bare sweaty back that faced him while the rest of her body was wrapped in the sheet hugged up to her chest.  
  
The man swallowed goaded and angry. Somehow he felt like he was the puppet here. Like when he first saw… "Princess" he could give everything to her and now… she wasn't even giving him the time of day. He really didn't have anything else to say, nothing seem to come out of his mouth. All he could do was crawl naked out of bed, reach into his wallet and toss the bills on the bed where he once laid, got dressed, and left the club private room with no questions.  
  
Usagi sighed and turned to collect counting as she fingered through the bills. It was the agreed amount even though she was hoping he'd fall asleep like the man from last night. Fall asleep so she could raid him clean and dry.  
  
"God how disgusting he was," Usagi groaned sating up in the bed prepared to shower and head back out. So far this would be her first shower of the night and she hoped her only one. It took her a lot of drinks to allow that man to get with her and Michiru was right, that was the best way to handle it. Unfortunately now Usagi felt like she needed more drinks if she wanted to continue which she didn't but…  
  
Remembering Michiru's teaching routine Usagi forcefully pulled all the sheets and coverings off the bed stuffing them down the suite of the room that led to the basement laundry room. While fresh new sheets were stored in a cupboard behind the door. Felt kind of stupid to her but it was better for her to work in the private quarters of the club than out on the streets even with the labor involved cleaning the beds and air and making sure to shower.  
  
Taking a few towels and soap from the closet Usagi dressed lightly and moved her way through the access back hallways that led to the dressing room to shower and prepare to hit the floor again.  
  
_____________________________________________________  
  
  
  
Usagi looked at her new look in the mirror and gasped. What she saw was no longer her but… a princess. A beautiful young woman. A long see-through but elegant lingerie gown flowing with a moonlight shade of peril white. Complete with ribbons and bows all over and a revealing chest area which Hotaru laced with sparkling glitter after putting on Usagi's make-up and doing her hair which she tied the sea of gold into a bun complete with a tiara.  
  
Usagi sparkled.  
  
Hotaru looked her over. "You're a princess right? Well…"  
  
"I love it," Usagi grinned her elbows quiescently on her thighs rubbing the silk of her gown. "You think I could walk around alright in this dress? With these heels?"  
  
"You made it to the vanity didn't you?"  
  
"Yeah but on the dance floor," Usagi countered not being able to take her eyes off her reflection. She hadn't felt so beautiful in so long. Beautiful and graceful and… useful. Haruka… Haruka was so wrong. I am worthy. I am somebody. I'm useful. Usagi confined in herself.  
  
"I'm beautiful," Usagi cheered smiling like the sunrise. "I'm beautiful!"  
  
The girls among the dressing room turned curious to look.  
  
"You'll be like that until you get your next catch. Then it's back to sweat, dirt, and just… man stuff," Hotaru commented tabbing a little eye shadow on herself over Usagi in the glowing mirror.  
  
The two busted into giggles. "Man stuff?" Usagi repeated with a laugh.  
  
"Yeah, you're too young to know the true meaning."  
  
Usagi gave her a worried playful look; picking up on it Hotaru giggled and whispered into Usagi's ear what she meant. From there… laughter.  
  
A friend, Usagi thought. Someone who's able to make me smile again. To laugh. And make me… feel beautiful. I miss my old friends from school and Hotaru; she just filled in that space with her heart. She's so sweet.  
  
"You ready to go upstairs?"  
  
Usagi shook her head. "Looking like this I want Michiru to see and point me in the right direction."  
  
Hotaru rolled her eyes. "Girl please. Michiru is nothing but another hoe trying to be someone's housewife. Of course she can sniff out the richest man to sleep with and try to make him take her home."  
  
Usagi looked puzzled up at Hotaru. "Well isn't that what-"  
  
"No," Hotaru shot an unyielding finger onto Usagi's pink lips stopping her quickly for her upcoming remark. Something she might believe in but wasn't true at all. "No, that's not what this job is all about and just leave it at that."  
  
As much as Usagi wanted to ask Hotaru what she meant she held herself far back from it feeling, the draining obscurity that seemed to wipe over the two.  
  
Hotaru smacked her lips together. "Well I guess I better be heading out. Got two babies to feed."  
  
"Of… of course yes," Usagi murmured still confused at Hotaru's holding back as the dark-haired girl went out the room. Once it was clear Usagi turned back to the mirror. "I thought that was what it was about. Everyone here trying to find their dreams and become-" She shook her head. "How stupid of me. Believing something like that."  
  
The dressing room door busted open. Usagi turned and there was Michiru.  
  
"So what's up protégé. Ready to go?"  
  
Usagi didn't say anything…  
  
______________________________________________________  
  
  
  
There he is, Usagi's mind spotted as if in a dream.  
  
There she is, Mamoru's mind spotted as if in a dream.  
  
The two, together, the dance floor vanished away and there were… clouds. A heaven, a dream. He stood there before her like a prince. Delicate and waiting. She was drawn into him, consuming his essences as she felt this oddness wash over her. This need to be by him.  
  
And him… the same.  
  
"Who are you?" she asked him.  
  
"Who are you?" he asked her.  
  
The two just stared in the clouds until… Usagi blinked and there was Michiru.  
  
"Who are you looking at?" Michiru asked following Usagi's eyes across the vibrating dance floor spotting a familiar face. Michiru gritted her teeth seeing how as her and Usagi were heading to VIP Usagi stopped to spot Mamoru enter the club. "Him…" Michiru frowned. "Keep away from him Usagi."  
  
But Usagi was imperceptible the young man's eyes as he looked up at her standing mid-way up the wiry steps toward VIP. He watched her, her familiarity, her senses, and her beauty.  
  
Michiru pulled snapping Usagi from her thoughts. "I said keep away from him. Don't look at him," she warned into Usagi's confused face.  
  
"But-"  
  
"He doesn't like women anyway," Michiru pressed. "He's just here to cause trouble."  
  
"Tr… trouble."  
  
"YES! Now let's go," Michiru tugged Usagi up the rest of the steps Usagi struggling with all her might to follow and keep her eyes on the man. The man who made a desperate dash their way across the crowded large club dance floor. He pushed his way through the crowd with every step echoing to Usagi's heart.  
  
The feelings…  
  
"I have to talk to him!" Usagi insisted as Michiru dragged her through the carpeted hall toward the VIP. "I have to talk-!"  
  
Michiru stopped abruptly and turned furiously toward Usagi eyeing her eyes with a dangerous passion. "Didn't I tell you? You CAN'T talk to him!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
Michiru sighed. "He's… he doesn't want you. Not like that anyway."  
  
"I don't care about the money. I just have to talk to him. Not sleep with him."  
  
"No, no, no, no," Michiru shook her head.  
  
"Why can't I talk to him!?" Usagi demanded.  
  
"Because he's some broke down officer! He has like this husband already or something and he's just going to use you when he knows better than to be here. Look," Michiru rubbed a tired hand through her wavy sea-green hair. "He's… he's like just not the one to mess with. No one messes with him. He's a cop and you just don't get mixed up-"  
  
"I don't want to sleep with him Michiru!" Usagi plead. "There's this feeling in me about him! Like… like he can HELP me!"  
  
"Usagi you're a runaway remember? The police ARE looking for you! Remember what you told me? If you go… you WILL be sleeping with the enemy. Somewhere in jail."  
  
"I… not this time…"  
  
Michiru screamed for Usagi to stop but Usagi was long gone. Down, down, down the same wicked wiry steps toward him… that stranger who she spotted was there… below the steps looking up pleasantly at her. He'd just made it to the landing of the steps with one foot forward before she came.  
  
Her… a princess, he thought.  
  
Without words together they led each other out onto the dance floor where he held her and up from the balcony Michiru watched and watched and found her imaging herself ripping off Usagi's pitiful little head.  
  
Usagi and him looked at each other eye to eye as they sprung in a circle unrelenting to the blaring music.  
  
Touch me! She screamed in her head. Touch me!  
  
He held her closer and Usagi closed her eyes craning her head back as it felt so good. He was holding her. Taking away everything that pain and she wanted to taste him so hungrily. He stood out from them all and she wanted him in her. Apart of her.  
  
Him the same. This feeling. This weirdness. The sudden change from dreams to reality. Even though Motoki was in his heart this one night, this one woman to help him release all the tension it felt so reasonable. So needy.  
  
Neither were thinking what so ever.  
  
Usagi rubbed her hand against his cheek pushing her body up close to his. Wanting him desperately but he wouldn't kiss her just yet and it angered her and she tried harder to make him, make him.  
  
"Are you afraid?" she asked him softly.  
  
"Never."  
  
"Then touch me. The right way."  
  
"I can't."  
  
"You can… and you will."  
  
Michiru watched the two whirl around in dance. Stupid girl, she thought. He knows you're a target and now is going to lead you away to take you on in girl. I just don't understand how you let something other than your mind take control of you so quickly. Then again… you've lost your mind long ago.  
  
"I can make you feel better," Usagi whispered fiercely into his ear. "I got something that would take it all away. All that strain from your body."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Like me. You want to see?"  
  
"Of course. I got the perfect place."  
  
"Let's go…"  
  
Michiru watched Usagi leave out the building with Mamoru, the officer, in arms.  
  
"Good-bye sweetie," she mumbled to herself softly. "This is the point when all hope is lost. It's not going to be better any longer. Only worst…" Michiru then turned heading for VIP keeping her simple dream alive. A dream to find the perfect man and get out this hell alive…  
  
  
  
  
  
The two didn't think. They just did what they had felt to do. After all this time of feeling weird Usagi did whatever she had to do and Mamoru… what does he think? Is he really realizing that "Princess" is actually Usagi and luring her into a trap? Or is he really… somehow enticed by her? And what the HELL was Mamoru doing in a straight discreet prostituting club? Saying he needed a drink… tch! Yeah whatever. Bye. 


	6. Chapter 6

NAME: Towel (10/22/01 - 10/30/01) E-MAIL: MoonTowel18@msn.com TITLE: Papa-Kenji. Please No More RATING: PG-13 NOTE: Okay here starts the third chapter from the finale. Last week (or weeks before that depending when I finish this one chapter) involved Usagi running into a prostitute named Michiru who gave her a job working at a discreet club thing where Usagi, reluctantly of course, ended up falling into the trap with plans of her own. Fast forward ahead, Haruka and Doctor Mizuno had been arrested but Haruka was bailed, Doctor Mizuno had her own dough. Fast-forward, Mamoru is leading Usagi to his home to sleep with her. No one really knows why its just. well it just HAPPENED. They just knew each other some how. Or is Mamoru leading Usagi on? We'll find out here in probably the saddest chapter. Okay read on. Listened most while writing: TLC "I Miss You So Much." DISCLAIMER: Sailor Moon 1992-2001. Naoko Takeuchi. Kondansha Ltd. And Toei Animation. Thanks: Naoko  
  
~~~~~~~~~~PAPA-KENJI. PLEASE NO MORE~~~~~~~~~~ CHAPTER 6  
  
Early morning. Usagi felt his baking heat next to hers. A nice warm but a disappointing one considering he didn't touch her. He didn't hold her. The sun came swooping rays from out of the sky into the blond's closed baby- blues eyes and with each peek the rays would pull her eyelids up further. Her tired eyes. They opened and she immediately watched the ceiling seeing and hearing the buzz of the ceiling fan vibrate in twirls with enough wind to keep her remained drenched in a sweaty mess. Her longs legs barred under the sheets and the heavy blanket seem to wonder around for some air, somewhere to breath until she poked her right leg down from under onto the floor. The cool air.  
  
Usagi sighed and turned her attention toward the man lying across her on his stomach arms draped out and still sleeping. His handsome face, his dark hair, his closed dark blue eyes, he slept. almost like a baby.  
  
Like a baby, Usagi thought smiling at the man. The. stranger. He treated me so good. Better than anyone. So, so, good. But why was he so afraid to kiss me, and touch me?  
  
Usagi let it go. She didn't want to wonder about that she just wanted more of the man. She wanted him to wake up and take her away again. To blow her mind like he'd done last night. Turn her completely out until she couldn't take it anymore and had to cringe into a ball of immense delight.  
  
And "forever" was the word. Forever she wanted to remain there in that bed with him, forever. Leaning forward to kiss the man's neck she understood that she couldn't stay. She'd done this for pure pleasure, not fun. Done this to take away his stress, his pain, and at the same time she got some of the same respite as he did. But now it had to end. The way he came stepping into the club like a prince toward her. The way he danced with her despite the music blaring and the lights churning in their heat. The way he entrapped her, seduced her lips and hands to touch him. The way he felt right, felt like he had something going on with him that could prove beneficial to her completeness in life.  
  
"He was perfect," she whispered to herself admiring his every breath of air. "Absolutely perfect and if I wasn't desperately in need of money I'd stay with him forever but no one like him could have me. No one deserves such a burden."  
  
The blond turned from him and eyed the blue blanket covering her lap. She ran her hand through her head pulling back her scalped in anticipation and frustration. To leave him now or to wait and talk to him while they both laid with one another. To have a nice wonderful early morning honey conversation. To have a husband, and have a child come running into the room a minute later demanding they wake up for breakfast smiling like the sunrise. Usagi could practically see the door across the room open up but when it revealed the child there was Shingo instead.  
  
"Usagi!" he hollered angrily. "How could you do this!? HOW!? HOW!? You're suppose to be my sister! You're suppose to be better than this! WHY!?"  
  
Usagi shook her head sucked like quicksand into the illusion troubled at Shingo's "presence." "No, no, Shingo please don't be mad. I can explain it all," she implored toward Shingo's ghost. "I'm doing this all for you. For you Shingo I-"  
  
"Liar! I hope you die you nasty woman!"  
  
Usagi covered her ears and bit down hard on her lips. She couldn't hear that. She couldn't bare to hear him wish her dead. To wish her dead. DEAD! DEAD! She didn't want him of all people giving up on her. She couldn't deal with it like this.  
  
"Please Shingo you have to understand," Usagi tried to explain. "It's all for you."  
  
"NO!" Shingo spat. "I hate you! I hate you and I hope you die!"  
  
"Noooooooooooooooooooo!" Usagi screamed her heart hurting and she tried frantically to rip it out of her chest but couldn't. Rip it out of her chest and just kill it. Destroy it.  
  
Mamoru opened his eyes from the wailing that interrupted his small dreams and his eyes looked into the girl from last night still there, as he didn't expect. She was sating up right in his bed next to her, her head craned up in a howling scream like a wolf while her hands, her horrible horrible hands were scratching and clawing at her chest.  
  
"My god," Mamoru gasped giving her a drawing look as he forced himself up in bed. He wasn't sure what was going on. It was as if to him something invisible was attacking her. Attacking her chest. stabbing her heart. And that awful screaming. What was she seeing? Why was she doing all this awful screaming?  
  
Mamoru had to do something. He reached up and pulled away the strained hands from the girl's chest to see red streaks cris-crossing where she'd clawed at her chest. Holding the shaky tender hands Mamoru looked unbelievably processing through constant blinks at the girl's bare chest where she'd allow some insane force to possess her hands into trying to. rip her heart out.  
  
Mamoru didn't know what to do but hold onto the hands as best he could even though the girl fought. He could see the bitter peach pieces of flesh gritted under the violently dominated nails and that seemed to play into his mind over and over again. That nasty peach flesh saturated with small drops of her blood now grinded into her nails. The girl was. insane.  
  
"Okay stop," Mamoru tried to call out to her as her screaming slowly died down while his alarm rose trying to not think about the girl's hands. "It's okay. There's nothing here, just me. It's all okay."  
  
Usagi finally over her shock not realizing anything that had happened ignored to look at him but quickly wrapped herself around him and once she touched him, touched his body she then wanted to kiss him. Kiss his body and she did. Her desperate, painful lips licked at his neck and planted kiss over his chest.  
  
"Once more," Usagi whispered lowly as she feverishly kissed the man who looked unable at her. "Just once more," Usagi entreated. "Once more. Take me away; take it all away. Don't let him see me. Don't let him catch me. Take it away."  
  
Mamoru peeled the girl off him asking her closely about what she meant.  
  
"My brother," she clarified trying distraughtly to push his hands away from holding her so far away from his lovely body. "Please let me go," she tried to push away his hands her boiling anger for liberation growing.  
  
"Your - your brother," Mamoru stammered trying to hold her down and at the same time overlook her impulsive yearnings.  
  
"Yes," Usagi pounced onto him with divine strength throwing back his arms and pushing him hard against the bed as she climb onto him. "Once more," she continued to chant lining her lips captiously over his chest. "Once more and I promise I'll never come back."  
  
"You want me to-" Mamoru stopped when he felt her body from deep under the covers began to rub against his mellowness. He realized soon enough with her constant rubbing and kisses that she was trying to enthuse him more for herself. But it was no longer the same. Last night it was true he felt needy and desperate but now it felt wrong. Now with the alcohol all hummed away it felt iniquitous to have her against him. "I - I can't," Mamoru told her pulling her off him.  
  
"Yes you cannnnnnnn," Usagi's beastly eyes geared up and once again she was pushing him.  
  
"NO!" Mamoru threw the girl off him this time roughly and climbed his naked body out of the bed turning to look at her. "I don't know who you are and I believe you better leave."  
  
Usagi's heart jumped again and she looked at him with such a deadly passion as the reject began to seep in. The one man she felt could take away the conscious of Shingo, the one man who could take away the pain, the one man who was the drug in her life, who'd gave her the sign last night, was now putting her aside as if she was just another. woman-THING.  
  
The demon began to creep back up into Usagi as the man slipped on his underwear trying to disregard the girl who sat quietly on his bed while he gave her certain seconds to split. But she wouldn't move and he looked back at her with a sigh pointing toward the door. He didn't add anything else but Usagi so upset and confused and perturbed turned her arm around, pulled the strangers bedside lamp from off his nightstand and threw it with all her might toward him.  
  
The lamp nearly hitting Mamoru smashed into pieces against his closet door. Mamoru cringing from out of its path counting the reaction time and slowing the ringing of the smash from his ears.  
  
"Go to hell you slimy fu**!" an outraged Usagi hollered slipping out of the bed. "Go to hellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll!" Without knowing she picked up the nearest object, which was a department bag laying on the floor, and flung it at the man which he caught and dropped it to the floor roasting with anger as he looked at his lamp smattered in pieces.  
  
"You bitch!" he cried. "Look what you've just did!" Mamoru controlled his nerves from reaching over and beating the snot out of the livid blond but he knew he couldn't. He just couldn't hurt her.  
  
There was silence throughout the room as the two eyed each other. Usagi's full of a fervent fury and Mamoru's full of regret and irritation. The room growing so heavy with pressure it could smother the two and leave away with a laugh.  
  
Then the pressure came to an sharp ending.  
  
CLICK - CLICK went the front door a ways from the room where the two stood tense in.  
  
"Mamoruuuuuuuuuu, it's meeeeeeeeeeee!"  
  
"Motoki," Mamoru's alert voice hissed and that's when everything blew into horror for him as his eyes dashed back and forth between the door and the blond girl who was watching the door in anticipation. Neither knew quite what to do. Usagi feeling insanely in love with him didn't want to hide, she didn't want to run, she didn't understand the situation in the first place. This wasn't a roommate coming into the house with such a sweetheart relationship key in tow; this was someone far special. And as much as Mamoru wanted to throw the girl into his closet, he didn't trust her and he didn't trust the air lingering about the room but he'd do whatever it took to not throw everything off.  
  
Over and over again Mamoru cursed his foolishness. His stupid habits of drinking between the make up and break-ups of him and Motoki and now. he'd done the stupidest thing not thinking at all about how Motoki loved to bring him breakfast from the café down the street every Thursday morning. Mamoru didn't realize it until it was all too late. If only. if only.  
  
Mamoru closed his hands over the sides of his head and dribbled down slowly on to the end of the bed his eyes roaming his bare hairy knees down in shock at his self-sucking in air feeling trifled and given up. Motoki would walk in the room and see all this, see the mess, see this random nightly affair, Motoki would trip on both him and the girl and then it would be over between them. The one person he really loved, he wanted to be with forever, the one he wanted to marry when the time was completely right which felt so near, Motoki. his love.  
  
And now, it was all over. Mamoru's heart beat with each step as the sound of Motoki coming through the inexplicable hall calling Mamoru's name on a search. If only we'd stayed not talking to each other, Mamoru screamed in his head. If only he was too angry to come today, then I'd have a chance, a chance to cover it up for as long as possible and tell him the truth finally, finally when there's no way out.  
  
"Who is it?" Usagi asked placing her white gown back on embarrassed at her bare body standing idly in the room while the clear presence of someone was on their way.  
  
Mamoru shook his head, his dirty hands gritting his hair in anxiety and fallen in battle. No use running, no use hiding, Motoki was coming and it was all over. If one thing Mamoru wanted to cry but he just didn't seem able. All he could think about was telling Motoki the truth, he wasn't scanning for a lie, he was just going to tell the truth and pray Motoki would forgive him and take him back. Pray that everything would be fixed.  
  
As much as Mamoru wanted to stop Motoki from coming in, wanted to run and lock the door as quickly as possible and toss the girl out the window he couldn't. He just couldn't lie to Motoki; he couldn't hide it even though that was what he felt he needed to do at first. Hide the whole thing, it wasn't possible, he loved Motoki too much to hide ANYTHING and now this, this was too big to cover up. Motoki would find out the truth right here and now and everything in Mamoru's world would be over.  
  
Someone was to blame. Was it the prostitute that reminded him so much of someone? Or was it himself? Someone had to be blamed. Someone had to be BLAMED!  
  
"I'm getting out of here," Usagi rushed toward the door. Mamoru rose up hastily and stopped the blond just as the door opened slowly to Motoki peeking in carrying a bag of pancakes and biscuits with a cup holder of two orange juice.  
  
Motoki didn't see anything at first; it was all a blur. His smile and bliss in feeding Mamoru even after their fight was far more in control of his emotions. But as he looked halfway through seeing half of a mysterious figure standing amidst the room he opened the door wildly and that's when everything seemed to drone out and fade.  
  
Motoki's mouth opened up in a gap and his muscles lost control within his arms and down floated the bag and cup holder of orange juice. The orangey liquid spewing up onto his jeans and shoes seeping it's way into the cream color carpeting of Mamoru's room. A forever stained. A remembrance of this hateful day.  
  
Mamoru holding the girl by the shoulders as if keeping her, KEEPING her from coming outside the door. Keeping her hidden from me! Motoki's mind roared. Keeping her from me! Keeping me from finding out! Trying to keep her from me!  
  
It happened in a haze, Usagi had no time to fight back as the blond man charged foward, wrapped his painfully stabbed hands around her throat and pushed, pushed, pushed, pushed the choking blond far far far far far far back.  
  
The nightstand where Usagi picked up the lamp rattled as the weaken blond was rammed into it and thrown loose of the man's tight hold free for a second choking and choking in air until she felt those horrible strikes. The horrible horrible hands hitting her. Batting her, screaming at her as they hit and hit and hit and hit at her body. Cursing the devil out of her, making her mold into more self-pity, making her get the urge to die over and over again as they kept swatting at her, like a dragon let loose in abrade against her tangled hair. Those blows, those punches, those slaps, those pulls, those tugs. the blond stranger wasn't just fighting her, he was trying to KILL her and Usagi realized that, as the pain got worst to the point where her thoughts skipped a beat and she was suddenly thinking about flowers.  
  
Flowers. on her grave? And the frequent black outs to her brain..  
  
His repetitive cursing was like tsunami waves in Usagi's ear. They were meaningful but speechless and then suddenly. they all stopped. Even the unable to scream or cry Usagi stopped. Stopped trying to rupture from the surprise. She just stopped, she'd stopped long before the man got onto her, and she didn't scream when he landed the first blow, she just stopped. And stopped cowering there feeling the "crows" remove themselves from her. She just stopped breathing heavily her eyes planted on the blood dripping from her nose onto the carpet. The stained carpet.  
  
"You sick bastard! I can't believe you!" Motoki yelled his fist burning like fire as his eyes stabbed into Mamoru who held him from slather the girl as in his intentions. "How dare you!?" Motoki's eyes burning with rage, confusion, and disbelief and tears. "Was I that worthless when it came to our arguments that you would turn around completely around my back and hurt me like this!? Was it that!? Was she better Mamoru because right now I really want to know before I beat the fu** out of you myself!"  
  
Motoki began to cry stilly. His ire no longer for the strange girl in the room but now for Mamoru. For Mamoru's heart he felt didn't want him any longer and that was the greatest pain ever. Even though deep inside Motoki knew it was a mistake, he knew Mamoru's heart and knew it belonged to him and that maybe, somewhere, it was HIS fault. But the seer realization that Mamoru could. WOULD. actually.  
  
Mamoru couldn't say much. He'd remembered all that happened last night that his mind would allow him, which wasn't too much, but feared the thought of thinking about what drove him to it all. All Mamoru could do was worry his shamed eyes at the carpet afraid to look at Motoki and Motoki's stifle teary face. All the indignity. all the compunction.  
  
Mamoru wanted so hard to not believe what was happening. To explain to Motoki that nothing happened. But something did. Mamoru took the girl home from the club and their actions immediately led to bed play without a second thought and Motoki was there to witness the aftermath and hell a battle between emotions and tribulation.  
  
"Tell me!" Motoki demanded his mouth choked with saliva and dripping tears that slipped in from its corners. Motoki, shattered saw Mamoru open his mouth to speak but not a thing came out. "Tell ME!"  
  
"I. Motoki I'm so-"  
  
"NO!" Motoki marched forward and threw Mamoru's chin up eye-level with his. Mamoru's own eyes glistening like a shard of mirror.  
  
"I. I. don't know," Mamoru, sputtered his eyes leaking slightly. "All I can do is apologize."  
  
Mamoru's heart felt bad. He'd let Motoki down and now there was a price to pay, a promise to be broken, a life to take. Mamoru wanted so bad to touch Motoki and end everything forgivingly. But he'd went to far and as brawny as he wanted to be he couldn't help but break down as Motoki tossed back his ring and exited the bedroom with a final sob.  
  
Mamoru dropped to his knees cover his hands over his eyes. The magnetite of his broken heart and the now soundless ring he gave as a promise to Motoki and to their compassion both swollen with chargeable evil responsibilities. Mamoru had allowed his whole world to crash just because he was upset and decided to drink and bring home that girl. His whole lucky world where his heart belonged too much to Motoki that he couldn't hide his mistakes or lie it through and through but because he loved so much he let the truth be known. That one night. His world. Motoki..  
  
No more, Mamoru's mind cried suiting with his sorrow eyes. No more Motoki. No more love. No more walks. No more talks. No more kisses goodnight. No more passion. My world is gone in the blink of an eye.  
  
"Motokiiiiiii," Mamoru drawl closed together, his overwhelmed red wet face rubbing against the carpet while his arms wrapped around his staggered body as if trying to hold it together. Trying to hope.  
  
Fully dressed Usagi lifted herself up in her gown from last night but wearing it didn't make her feel pretty anymore. It made her feel dirty once again. Dizzy, confused, and unfathomable looking from her abrupt assault Usagi rubbed where it ached and started to head out ignoring everything but stopped at the door to give the crying man one last look. She couldn't even account to the fact that she was nearly murdered, her scratched up bruised face in the mirror would bring the consciousness all back soon enough, but to look at that grown man, that stranger with the dark hair crying his eyes out for another man seem to quake Usagi with an odd skepticism but a full round of envy.  
  
We're just strangers, Usagi told herself. I don't know them they don't know me. This is none of my business. Still. the way he made me feel. Like I was alive. Makes me want to come back for more and more and more. But. the value, this twinge.  
  
Her thoughtful eyes roamed to the doorknob she soon gripped.  
  
I'd just ruined someone's life, she reminded herself. And what keeps taking over me that keep making me ruin people's lives!? Why did I hallucinate seeing Shingo screaming at me? Why did I not listen to Michiru when she told me to keep away from that man? Sure it could have been any other way but this. this is too. different, too difficult. and then so rhythmic. I'm destroying people.  
  
She wanted to tell the sobbing man that she was sorry, but that was a feeling in her that felt stupid to say it. What the hell was the deal? They didn't know each other and there was nothing else to be done. They'd never see each other again. The way he made her feel will never arrive again as an opportunity. It was over. There was nothing between them at all and so there was no reason to try to apologize like this was nothing. All Usagi could do was move on and hope the two of them could, even though she doubted it.  
  
The troubled blond slipped out of the room and head toward the bus stop to ride down to the bay, the cramped boathouse, her cage. The cage that she had to release herself from. And so out into the early morning she went about.  
  
When Usagi got to the boathouse she saw that Haruka was nowhere to be seen which was a good thing to her. It was time for her to end all this for real this time, end the whole thing and it didn't evolve her taking her own life. YET, she was going to break the lock off her cage and end it. End the ending of her life and others. With the lock gone then she'd be strong enough to fly into the pits of hell without looking back.  
  
The silence, the stillness in the teetering boathouse. Usagi rocked on her thin legs toward the room at the end of the boathouse where Shingo laid sleep along gripping the wood walls along the way.  
  
"Good," Usagi spoke softly to herself. "He's sleep, makes this a lot easier for me."  
  
The blond dropped to her knees in front of the bunk Shingo slept in and reached into one of the bunk drawers pulling it opened and there rested their book bags with their clothes and other final passions inside. Starting to cry Usagi shuffled through the papers on top that belonged to Haruka and Motoki and took hold of her book bag and pulled the zipper open roughly sticking her shaking hands inside she searched around until her fingers secured around the cold weapon and out she pulled the revolver. The same one that murdered her father, the same one that saved her from Makoto those several days ago. The revolver. her salvation.  
  
Her eyes gleaming in it's shiny complex and her own diamond ridden teary eyes Usagi looked the heavy weapon all over in her trembling hands. Could she do this? Could she REALLY do this? Was it time?  
  
She wiped her eyes with her sleeve, sniffled away the last bit of weakness she had in her and took the revolver in both her hands lifting the weighted weapon straight ahead of her arms out.  
  
"I have no choice," she ascertained herself her hands rattling while holding the revolver. "Not a single choice. I don't have a choice."  
  
All the insane chanting and that look drawing into her eyes again as she stood up straight and positioned the barrel of the gun inches away from Shingo's left temple.  
  
"No choice," she continued to recite her hands shaking violently while gripping the revolver ever so deadly against her brother careful not to let the coldness touch him completely and awaken him.  
  
Usagi thought she'd had it all figured out. Destroy Shingo. Destroy him and then she'll have no reason to live then she could be emancipated to end her own life and finally be happy.  
  
"No choice," her blazing demon-set eyes conflagrated open glowing like a dark abyss. Those wild eyes again. The eyes of the beast. The insane beast. There they were again and this time trying to escape. Trying to end it all. Trying to be free.  
  
The demon in Usagi's head told her to do it. DO IT! It told her. PULL THE TRIGGER. YOU'LL BE FREE. DO IT! DO IT! DO ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! KILL HIM! KILL HIM! MAKE HIM DIE! MAKE HIM PAY! MAKE HIM PAY! YOUR FATHER HAS TO PAY! MAKE HIM PAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!  
  
It crawled over her mind and heart and began to guzzle what told her to never give up. It hooted at her conscious. It snickered as the combat between the two began to play out once again and Usagi was losing. HE had her now.  
  
Destroy the boy! It told her. Destroy him and you'll be set free from this nightmare!  
  
"Kill him and then myself, kill him and then myself," Usagi chanted darkly. Her sweaty finger rose heavily against the trigger of the revolver, even though she shivered possessed by that horrible demon inside of her hands still quaking as if. as if there was still Usagi left inside of her. As if her hope, her angel was convincing her more profoundly to stop it. To drop the revolver and keep her hopes up. The angel telling her that this wouldn't solve anything. that she had to be stronger.  
  
Usagi gasped tightly like a slap in the face and stumbled backwards dropping the revolver where it hit the wood floor with a loud CLANK. Her chest heaving in air and shooting it back out. Beads of sweat dripped around her face as she looked, looked delicately at Shingo's sleeping figure knowing all too well that at the last minute she was saved. She was saved! Something took her back to the beginning, back to everything and saved her. Kept her from dying and ending it all.  
  
Her hands vibrating viciously at her sides she raised them up racking them through her hair and feeling lost and frail she dropped to the floor and began sobbing softly at first then roughly. The pure apprehension. The lost of her thoughtlessness and now how she couldn't believe how much she was losing her mind was controlling her brain. That shabby have-beaten brain of her hers.  
  
"I'm sorry," she murmured through her flooding tears over and over and over again. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." The world as viewed now seem to darken around her as she laid there singing away bit by bit her agony until the world just snapped the toggle into murkiness.  
  
The salty sea-breeze air rushed up into Usagi's face chillingly as she wrapped her hands around herself fighting the cold standing once again over the jetty over looking the ocean below. Her thoughts simply on screaming and screaming all over again. Her voice now quiet and underdone amidst her swallowed throat. All that screaming to release some of what was plaguing her. Finally she was about to scream it out, scream it out over the jetty where no one could hear over the crashing waves below.  
  
For an hour she'd stood there screaming on and off and finally her thoughts were no longer on revenge of her father. She'd screaming and pondered on and off about what she should do now. What was the next process in her life and what was the most important thing she had to change in it? Nothing made senses whatsoever but there had to be some sort of meaning behind everything. A reason. A reason why she was losing her mind and going through these awful things.  
  
Several times she thought about what happened this morning and wondered about the two men. How were they feeling? What were they doing? Should she go back and try to patch things up basically risking her life? Then Usagi realized that she'd messed up their life, they weren't of any association to her and therefore no need to return. Still. those haunting feelings of pleasure she had last night with the dark guy. She remembered how he seemed to have swept her away from under the covers and made her feel good, wholesome and ready for the world. Made her forget about everything, the past, the present, and a future that may or may not remain in darkness. He'd made her feel good like no other and as much as she wanted him desperately to give her that feeling again she knew better than to go back.  
  
So now what? Usagi though brushing her flowing hair behind her ears. What's the next step? I'm already getting enough money and today should be my last night. Then this will all be over. Finally. I'd get a flight with my own earnings. Unless I could still manage to get that free flight with Mina. But as of now. it seemed too impossible.  
  
Usagi sighed. If only I could just be a little girl again.  
  
Her thoughts now floating in air and the past set behind her she turned slowly to head back down hill to the boat house. There she would talk to Shingo for a bit and tell him more and more how she loved him and wouldn't let anything happen to him. And somewhere between. apologize for nearly killing him from her lunacy sudden stress. She feared looking at Shingo though. What probably helped cause that earlier episode was the hallucination that she'd seen of him previously yelling at her about how she was worthless. Still she knew that was exactly what it simply was, a hallucination. One she'd have to face up with in reality and see whether it was more or not  
  
Usagi's shoes clanked down the pebble path downhill as she forced herself to remain balanced with each step. Several times she took a hold of the trees to help her get through. Being outside made her feel good for once. She was free, set apart from the shaded darkness that the boathouse, the hospital, the club, and her old home had to offer. Being outside made her feel developed somewhere. The sounds of the birds, the whistling wind, the snappy branches, it felt good. The nature, not the city.  
  
As Usagi moved on through making her path she spotted the dock leading to the boathouse and on the dock stood Haruka over looking the ocean with her arms crossed.  
  
"Great," Usagi murmured far from Haruka's listening distance. "Where'd she come from?"  
  
The blond finally hit the sandy beach and from there moved on onto the deck just as Haruka turned toward her with an expression that caught Usagi off guard stopping her in her tracks.  
  
"Oh, Haruka, hi."  
  
Haruka look dangerously at Usagi. A rump of riddance and anger. Haruka could never keep a smile, she may have let a tear slip before but a smile seemed to be too difficult for her making it so hard for Usagi to read what she had on her mind. So so difficult. But this look. this dark look. How Haruka looked at Usagi now was too dark, to fierce, too. regrettable.  
  
Before Usagi could ask what was the matter Haruka cut in sharply.  
  
"Get out," Haruka stoned.  
  
Usagi blinked in silence, riving up, Haruka again this time more boisterously with a swish of her hand.  
  
"I said get the hell out! Get out of here! Go away! Go far away!"  
  
"But-"  
  
Haruka stalked toward Usagi and before the blond could report time Haruka blew a palm like nails across Usagi's left cheek. With a yelp Usagi held her cheek and went tumbling down to the deck rubbing the painful slap that redden her skin like fire.  
  
"Ha. Haruka," Usagi said meekly in pain while her eyes watched the wood graining of the deck afraid to look up at Haruka. "Why?"  
  
Haruka stood over her. "Because I'm sick of your face. You're taking up too much of my room and all the damn trouble you cause. I'm tired of your face! I'm being suffocated with you around! Now go away!"  
  
Don't cry Usagi! Don't cry! There's no need for crying, you've done enough crying! Enough crying! Enough! Enough! Enough! ENOUGH! ENOUGH! ENOUGH! ENOUGH! ENOUGH CRYING! YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH CRYING! MAKE THEM CRY! MAKE ALL THOSE STICK BASTARDS CRY FOR HURTING YOU! MAKE THEM CRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!  
  
Usagi gasped pushing down those dark feelings in alarm. They were coming up and she felt them. she'd felt them rising so crafty and sweetly wrapping around her brain. The urge to kill Haruka for hurting her, for making her cry. The shadows, it wanted her so bad to react insanely. But she managed to push them back down in their abyss and rise back up as Usagi.  
  
Everything Haruka clarified to Usagi swept into her brain like water. She could understand and actual relate to Haruka's strife, although the slap was inappropriate compared to the fact that Usagi was ready to drown Haruka. There were no hard feelings at all really. Haruka just had to let Usagi know that she couldn't handle her being there after all. Usagi understood completely and wasn't about to object but she also wasn't about to allow Haruka to throw out Shingo. Shingo has to stay.  
  
Usagi climbed to her feet ready to defend herself if she had to and she looked so coldly at Haruka, cold but forgivingly and nodded. "I understand, but I won't allow you to let Shingo leave. He has to stay, until I can come back for him."  
  
"The kid can stay," Haruka spoke as if already in plan. "I'll watch over him but you. you have to leave."  
  
It did hurt Usagi. Once again she was being rejected and abused. So why was she not getting completely used to it yet? Why was her practice of adapting becoming on so feebly?  
  
It takes time, she realized.  
  
"At least let me get my things and say good-bye to Shingo."  
  
Haruka nodded and pointed toward the boathouse. With her head held low fighting back the tears of another dismissal output on life Usagi went inside the boathouse and hurriedly found Shingo awaking in the bunk.  
  
"Usagi?" he questioned in the dim room rubbing his sleepy eyes as she heft up her book bag placing the revolver back inside wondering if Haruka had seen it and realized how dangerous she was.  
  
"Yeah what is it?" Usagi forced a smile bending down to Shingo. She rubbed his hair and the sweat off his forehead.  
  
Shingo's eyes went onto Usagi then onto her book bag and before he could ask Usagi explained as best she could.  
  
"I'm going away for awhile," she told him. "Not long though. Not long at all. Just for a little while and you are going to have to stay here while I-"  
  
"NO!" Shingo rushed his legs out of the bed, Usagi held him to stop before he could stand. "I'm not letting you leave me here! I'm not letting you leave! We're suppose to stick together and... and." his eyes searched in panic fright for the words. "We're suppose to work together to make everything all better."  
  
Usagi shook her head a bit losing her smile then gaining it back but more determinedly. "I know Shingo and we're still going through this together. We're going to make it. It's just that right now I have some decisions to make for myself that will benefit the both of us. You on the other hand. right now I just need you to be somewhere safe where you could be taken care of. Like here."  
  
"With Haruka!?" Shingo sneered. "She's so mean."  
  
"No she's not," Usagi smoothed back his hair. "She can take care of you while I'm gone. Besides you play with the other girls that come here don't you? They're nice and they take care of you too-"  
  
Shingo thought about this looking at his lap and said softly. "I'm not a baby you know?"  
  
Usagi looked shocked at him. Her smile dropped realizing that he noticed it too. Noticed that he wasn't a child anymore like she had in the beginning. Finally he's really. REALLY realizing it.  
  
"WHERE WILL YOU BE GOING!?" Shingo suddenly yelled pushing Usagi away and stood up sharply.  
  
"Sh - Shingo I-"  
  
"WHERE!? You're just trying to leave me behind and find somebody else to go too!" he began to sniffle.  
  
"No, no, no that's not true you know better," Usagi tried to stop his indignation.  
  
"Shut up! Just leave me alone! Leave me all alone!" Shingo slipped into his shoes and stormed out the room.  
  
With a sigh and a slight prayer to God Usagi eyed the ceiling in frustration and decided not to follow after him. He'll get over it soon enough and right now she had to find some place before dark.  
  
"I can't believe I'm still here. and alive." Usagi's calm voice spoke into the darkness of her parents' old room. She opened her tired eyes and looked at the alarm clock feeling another spell bounding rush of the creeps shiver through her. It was almost time for her to head out to the club after taking her nap in the only place she saw fit. her old home. A crime scene forever more. The girl was careful though; she'd sunk back into the house no problem keeping watch out on a substantial level. Careful not to turn on any lights, not to move around too much, whatever it took not to have anyone watching her sneak in and about to cause any trouble.  
  
One thing for sure was that she couldn't believe she was in the house. It was like hell to her, the walls were now colossal prison blocks, and the house smelled like dust, everything remained in place except for upstairs in her old bedroom. That. she didn't want to even think about.  
  
The whole time she'd spent in the house she felt like she was being watched, watched by the family photos, and watched by the ghost of her father. She felt like she didn't have a choice but to come back. To come back and rest in a place that she KNEW if she was going to be caught it was going to end all this. Everything would be over, the running, the manic panicking; it would all be over. And somewhere deep in the back of the blond's mind the risk sounded too sweet.  
  
She couldn't stay for long. She'd only decided to take a quick nap and eat up what was left in the refrigerator hoping none of the policemen went so far as to either eat themselves or check everything even in the kitchen. And she did eat, not much and not to her ratification, but enough to keep her stomach full for awhile while she took her a nap waking up ready to hit the streets where she'll spend the rest of her nights and days with Michiru, or Hotaru, hopefully. Both girls had their own place really and if they'd just let Usagi stay for a couple of days it would make a huge difference on her recovery.  
  
Usagi shook her head. It didn't matter. Today was suppose to be her last day and if she had enough money, which she somehow doubted, then she could prepare to send her and Shingo off to start a new life even if she had to do it alone.  
  
"Which ever way it goes I'm going to make it," she reassured herself out loud after stepping out of her parents' bed heading downstairs book bag in haul and the night casting darkness to her convenient.  
  
On her way to the bus stop leading downtown Usagi couldn't help but to stop to eye the poster plastered against the arcade wall. "'Mina Spears,'" she read. "'Azuba Juuban Civic Center Park Friday from 6pm - 8pm.'" Usagi clutched her book bag tighter around herself narrowing her eyes in concern at the poster and that impossible idea she had pondered up back when all this had started the idea which roamed back into her head.  
  
Maybe I could still do this, tomorrow's the last day and if I don't make enough money tonight I won't be able to leave that club. I know it sounds so stupid, but why can't I help but to believe so much in this idea?  
  
Motoki stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror of his apartment while off in the distance his classical CD spun out the familiar Moonlight Sonata. The blond youth was drowned out in tears and full of terror for his future. Sating serenely on the toilet covering were two liquor purple glass bottles both half-empty from his heavy consuming and in his hands remained the third just opened bottle.  
  
Motoki wavered in his small stand before the mirror and tilted his head back for another swig. The bathroom was hot. With his shirt off he felt the steam from the just-ran water billowing against his skin like fire and it felt so good. He'd turn the water on only on hot, even though his feelings were shallow, empty, and cold. The heat might be able to warm off the cold feelings from earlier that day. Warm his heart back up.  
  
All day long, he laid around skipping work and feeling miserable that his lover and soon to be perpetually husband had turned around on his heart and cheated on him. All the trust Motoki built so simply on Mamoru was incomprehensible and now this. This one incident making him feel louse and insignificant.  
  
Maybe if Motoki would talk to Mamoru instead of taking the phone off the hook and not answering the door due to Mamoru's frequent begging renouncements. Maybe if Motoki would take all the apology gifts sating at his doorstep then he'd be all right and not be thinking that his world was now over.  
  
It's all over, he thought the entire day. The future is screwed. The one man ever in my life I trusted is now. no more. And even if it was a mistake I can't forgive and I can't believe it.  
  
Motoki gasped drunkenly removing the bitter liquid bottle from his lips dropping it to the bathroom floor with a THUNK. He gasped and wiped what remained from his lips and pressed his hands into the porcelain of the sink and bent forward to look at his self again in the mirror. Ravaged and savaged. A bawl of obscurity now. No more hope.  
  
Motoki giggled at his reflection in a giggle not of his own and not from his mind and given point. "You silly little bastard," he laughed teetering dangerously at his loose knees. "You're so USELESS! How could you let him do that to you!? HUH!?" his laughter clicking into anger as he gripped the sides of the mirror prepared to rip it from the wall but stopped as once again he was laughing awkwardly once again shaking his head pitifully. "You're so stupid. But it's your fault."  
  
My fault. I let Mamoru down.  
  
With a disregarding small slap of the mirror Motoki moved stumblingly gripping the walls out into the hallway and into his bedroom mumbling to himself as he immediately went to his desk, grabbed a pen and paper and a framed picture of Mamoru alone and like a zombie went back into the bathroom where he threw the bottles off the toilet and with Mamoru's picture his boarding support he began to write the letter.  
  
"'Mamoru.,'" he started out writing as best his shaky right hand could.  
  
EVEN THOUGH I KNOW WE'RE SUPPOSE TO BE TOGETHER I FEEL LIKE NOTHING IS GOING TO BE RIGHT ANYMORE. I FEEL LIKE I'VE DONE SOMETHING WRONG AND I CAN'T THINK OF HURTING YOU BACK LIKE YOU DID ME. I'D NEVER WISH ANYTHING HARMFUL ON YOU AND ALL I CAN DO IS WISH YOU LUCK.  
  
Motoki paused and wiped away at his wet face then continued.  
  
HELL ALL I CAN SAY IS WELL I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU AND I CAN'T BE WITHOUT YOU AND I CAN'T BE WITH YOU WHEN I TOLD YOU BEFORE IT ONLY TAKES ONE MISTAKE TO BREAK MY HEART COMPLETELY. YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO'S EVER UNDERSTOOD THAT AND THAT'S WHY I'M GIVING IT ALL UP. I CAN'T BE WITH YOU AND THERES NO ONE ELSE OUT THERE FOR ME AND WE CAN'T GET BACK TOGETHER, NOT AFTER ALL THIS. SO I GIVE UP. SO I LOVE YOU AND.  
  
Motoki couldn't think of anything else to say. He dropped the letter to the floor and bent over watching the world turn into a wet mural blur and for a while just sat, to either admire it regret it or fear it. There was something there but most of all was the entity telling him falsely that his life was over and that it was time to go.  
  
"Time to go," Motoki muttered pressing Mamoru's picture against his lips holding them for a whole two minutes. He then dropped the picture next to the letter and proceeded to do what he felt he had to do.  
  
Back watching his reflection he kept telling himself how there was no way, no choice, no one else out there that could love and take care of him like Mamoru. His world was over.  
  
Motoki picked up the small razor blade and moved over to the bathtub with one foot at a time he stepped into the steaming tub jerking his toes back every other moment in retreat but eventually settling his body deep inside the water which became so hot it was cold, cold and numb. His eyes pinched close tight he struggled to get his body to except the heat no matter how boiling against his skin it was.  
  
And it did. it began to swallow him up and his closed tight eyes softened and there he sat relaxing allowing the heat to take him over. To numb away the splicing pain he felt when he rubbed the blade against his wrist. He didn't feel anything, a small pain and that was it. His bleeding wrist settled deep into the tub bubbling streams of blood to the top spreading around it like disturbing icing on a cake. The thick red blood, blanketing the top of the tub over Motoki who kept his eyes closed and kept his mind on what and where was he going to be and become. Peace. Finally peace.  
  
Motoki choked up for a second feeling himself actually feel the shivering shriek of blood escaping their wounds. An easy breath of air escaped his lips and he smiled and matured in further.  
  
No more pain. No more suffering. If he couldn't be with Mamoru, couldn't trust Mamoru, then he couldn't live. His policy, his law. Drain away the past and move on to the future.  
  
"My future," Motoki mumbled to himself. "My. my future."  
  
Suddenly Motoki's eyes snapped open at the sound of his doorbell going off and a loud banging and.  
  
"Mamoru?"  
  
BHAM! BHAM! "Motoki open up! I'm sorry okay! I really need to talk to you!"  
  
Motoki gasped eyeing the closed bathroom door with a rushing sensation. The future. Our future. Driving by his passion for Mamoru the blond pulled out of the bathtub grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his wrists dripping with blood by the tons. Everywhere. In shock Motoki looked and looked at all the blood, the awful blood everywhere dripping everywhere.  
  
"Oh my god," Motoki realized. "Oh my god!" He grabbed another towel and wrapped it furiously around his wrist as best he could. He had to stop it. Had to stop all the damn bleeding. The mistake, the horrible bleeding, he had to stop it. "Mamoru I'm coming!" he raced out the door blasting in the coldness of the hallway as he made a trail.  
  
Motoki was suddenly rushed with a feverous breath of air and swayed backwards, the door leading to Mamoru straight ahead of him now but he felt as if he couldn't make it. He was drowning. Dizzy. Blood seeping through the cotton towels like a sponge. But he made every effort to get to Mamoru. To bring about the correction of his mistake. Even though it hurt and it wouldn't stop he had to get to Mamoru. He had to correct both their blunders. His future wasn't to be dead; it was to be with Mamoru and it was Mamoru's sudden voice that waked him back to the truth. A truth coming too late.  
  
Motoki dropped his right shoulder against the wall knocking a glass picture of his parents over with a wreck. For a second he stayed there pressed against the wall, wheezing as he felt it garrote him. The air. it was leaving. And the dizziness. The tenderness devouring his mind, his body.  
  
"Huuuuuuuuuuu!" Motoki gasped holding his chest as the world became a smear and the corners of his eyes began to darken. He stared anxiously at the door trying desperately to call to Mamoru but it wouldn't come out. It was stuck.  
  
He began to move forward again, one step, and dropped slamming like pipes into the floor before the genko. One of his arms reached from within the towel reaching out for the door, the doorknob trailing a river of shiny precise blood. Anything, anything close to Mamoru. He could hear Mamoru's hammering, his calling of his name, he could hear it all barely. It was so vague. So far away that it hurt.  
  
"Ma - Ma." Motoki mouthed his chest heaving without rhythm. He couldn't breath; he couldn't breath! And why!? Why was this darkness submerging in closer around his eyes and yet. everything was getting so bright. His throat tightened, his eyes pushed out as he felt it slow down, his heart, everything began to slow down and the darkness enthusiastic him in one swell gulp.  
  
With one final breath and his eyes stuck open never to contrast life, Motoki perished there before the door struggling to call for Mamoru. His world droned out. His future gone. He tried to replace everything as he realized that mistakes were made. This mistake went to far and now. it was over.  
  
Motoki, blown of oxygen, his body just laid there eyes open like a fish waddling in blood. He bled to death.  
  
  
  
Makoto. after surgery laid there quietly in her deep sleep alone. All alone. the critical surgery was somewhat of a success now it was up to Makoto herself. And even in her deep sleep she wanted to stay there, she didn't want to go back into the world. The painful world. It was as if she was accessible to something better on the other side. With one final faithful forgiveness she gave it to Usagi. She apologized to her sister, he friends and her family. And slowly she left everything behind, took a deep breath and let the air out.  
  
The startled nurse in the room during check up looked up alarmed as Makoto's lifeline went flat. She charged out the room yelling for a doctor but there was no wish or reason. It was Makoto's choice to give up and move on.  
  
  
  
Mamoru walked into his home drenched with tears. Once again for the tenth time that day Motoki wouldn't answer the door.  
  
Mamoru wiped at his eyes running his cold hands through his hair in aspiration and started toward his bedroom. The grown man flopped on his bed face down and began sniveling away the regret.  
  
When he finally looked up the first place he turned was toward the picture of Motoki on his nightstand. Alarmed he saw it nowhere to be found until he looked to the floor where the picture had fallen somehow.  
  
  
  
The rain roaring down as Usagi flew toward the boathouse. That feeling. She'd almost made it to the club before the rain raced down like hell on fire, huge fat drops slapping against her and she fell in the street in a frosty gasp when she was struck with the feeling.  
  
Makoto was dead.  
  
  
  
Welllllllllll? How was it? It took me awhile to finish this chapter too but I finally got it done *all cheerz*. Well anyway, I wish I could finish "Up in the Hills of Kentucky" *sob sob*. I'm going to try and finish that one as soon as possible if I can finish this story first. Okay anyway, e- mail me what you thought. Motoki killed his self and saw that it was just too late to take it back. Even though I knew it I thought it was so sad. And with Makoto, I mean, everybody suddenly forgot about her after the second chapter and suddenly she's not on anyone's mind and now. she's dead. In a better place. So how was it? 


	7. Chapter 7

NAME: Towel (Revised 1/7/02 – Original 11/4/01 – Complete 1/7/02)  
  
E-MAIL: Moontowel18@msn.com  
  
TITLE: Papa-Kenji… Please No More  
  
RATING: PG-13  
  
NOTE: Original: Okay right now I reallyyyyyyyy don't have anything to say but that Motoki killed himself because he felt he couldn't live with Mamoru nor Mamoru's one-night affair. As far as I'm concerned Motoki was plain out insane. He realized just at the last minute that there was a chance that he could live on with Mamoru or without. Too bad he didn't make it. Makoto gave up on the world in her coma, and she is dead too. Last chapter two people died. Motoki and Makoto. What's next? Who's next? Let's find out. Wow, I started this at the end of August and now it's November, November should be the conclusion month. Latest as of 2002: Wha-hoo, I go back to school tomorrow (uck). So anywayzzzzzzzz, I have this chapter and the next and this story is FINALLY complete, thank god yipeeeee-yipeeeeeee! No more stress and I can finally move on to the other stories I got planned. This is considered the rush chapter. Have you ever read a fanfic where like RIGHT before the conclusion things seem to happen all fast and you can like feel it in the story? Well this IS that so-called chapter. I figured after building up all that damn stress Usagi had to go through to developing her character as being insane it was time to ease things down for her and Mamoru and allow them to shoot through. So anyway, please enjoy and e-mail me what'cha thought.  
  
DISCLAIMER: Sailor Moon 1992-2002. Naoko Takeuchi. Kondansha Ltd. And Toei Animation.  
  
THANKS: Jazzy for keeping up with me for so long with this story, thanks Jazzy for all the cool e-mails. And of course Naoko.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~Papa-Kenji… Please No More~~~~~~~~~~  
  
CHAPTER 7  
  
"Mamoru," Setsuna asked gently giving Mamoru's closed office door a small rap of her knuckles her right ear listening in as closely as she could into his office. She waited a counter. Mamoru had been in his office all morning with not a single peep. The whole office was concerned and even more concerned to find Motoki not making a single appearance. That's where Setsuna had stepped in. She figured first of all a fight between the two and nothing else except there was strangeness involved which lead her over and over again knocking on Mamoru's door to get some answers.  
  
"Just leave him alone," a blundering officer suggested carrying a cup of coffee and a doughnut in hand as he walked pass Setsuna who was forcing herself to listen into Mamoru's office through the wood wall. She ignored the officer who'd moved on.  
  
Setsuna decided to try again. "Mamoru it's me. Setsuna. Your best friend. Can we please talk?"  
  
Silence.  
  
Setsuna peeled her ear from off the door brushing back her bangs from her eyes reaching for the knob, she twisted and to knowledge it opened up. Setsuna's exotic lavender eyes gave the knob a sneering look unbelievable to herself for not trying in the first place.  
  
First her head peeked inside hissing Mamoru's name and she spotted him. His head lying in his arms down on his desk. He didn't look up at her entrance therefore she pushed in further closing the door behind her hissing his name again.  
  
"What do you want?" his muffled voice answered.  
  
Setsuna looked around the room for a second to conjure up the right answer. An answer that wouldn't send emotional unstable Mamoru tossing her out the closed blind window. She found it quickly as she moved in closer to him eventually sating half her rear on a clearing on his desk. She looked at the closed off detective.  
  
"I want to know what's going on," she answered with sternness in her sweet voice. "I want to know why you've been sating in here quiet all morning and Motoki hasn't shown up to work."  
  
It seemed at the name "Motoki" Mamoru's wet sobbing face looked up in complete trepidation and inquiry. His whole reason for staying in his office was to avoid Motoki's appearance. He feared so much that Motoki would rub him off coldly and Mamoru didn't want to go through more of those feelings. Not like last night. To feel choked and deprived of a true love. It hurt, it hurt so damn badly for him.  
  
But… Motoki having the nerve to skip work…? It sounded incoherent.  
  
"Mo… Mo… Motoki's not here yet?" Mamoru stammered in his clogged sobbing throat reaching for a tissue on his desk to wipe his face.  
  
Setsuna nodded, her dark green strands of loose hair traveling along her chest.  
  
Mamoru blinked sating up in alarm almost. Sure he didn't want to see Motoki… well he DID but… when Motoki skipped worked, it just didn't compute.  
  
Mamoru ran his hands over his warm face now dry of his tears. "Has he called in?"  
  
Setsuna shook her head. "What's going on Mamoru? Where is Motoki and what's up with you?"  
  
Mamoru stood shakeningly replying with a simple lying "nothing" and moved to open his blinds, which shot not a single ray of sunlight. Outside it was gray, and dark almost sickening for Mamoru to look at. A look that was cut short as Setsuna demanded to know what was going on again.  
  
The dark haired man turned sharply folding his arms still unable to peer a smile at Setsuna's constant whining. Nor could he look directly at her as he spoke… and explained it all. The fight, how he stayed at Motoki's apartment door for as long as his body could make him, and how he went home and had a horrible dream. A dream where the world was purely split in half in one night.  
  
"Oh, Mamoru," Setsuna cloyed smoothly standing before her near tears friend. She hugged Mamoru tightly and kept hold of him. "Don't you think it's time to be a little more aggressive with him then? How about I come with you?"  
  
Mamoru pulled away shaking his head eyeing his shinny black shoes. "No way. He doesn't want to talk to me. What I did…" he trailed off turning back toward the window. Ashamed to tell Setsuna who didn't persist to know anymore. "It's just unforgivable," he put it.  
  
Setsuna wasn't sure how to react but instead sighed and made a choice to call Motoki. While Mamoru was looking out at the dreary afternoon sky Setsuna sat at his desk and picked up the phone dialing in Motoki's number leaning comfortable in the soft chair. She stole a glance at Mamoru whose attention was still outside.  
  
The phone rang, and rang, and rang, and rang when finally someone picked up.  
  
"Motoki?" Setsuna asked as softly as she could find out just in a second it wasn't Motoki.  
  
"Who's speaking?" asked the husky male voice on the other end.  
  
Setsuna sat up in the chair her brows flurrying with question as to who the hell was picking up Motoki's line. She wasn't sure whether she should hang up and dial again or what but she absolutely didn't like what was going on. Even though the two were in a fight… Motoki having another man around so easily was just not him. Everybody knew that Motoki and Mamoru was MORE than just an item. They were like soul mates and Motoki was too gentle to find someone to rival that.  
  
The voice asked again who was speaking.  
  
Setsuna answered. "Trista," she lied. "May I speak to Motoki?"  
  
"I'm afraid Motoki won't be able to answer the phone."  
  
Setsuna took another startling glance toward Mamoru who was still watching the window. She wanted to alert him of this sudden new presence but not like this.  
  
"Then where is he? I must talk to him," she insisted her adrenaline pumping as she was slowing drawing herself to a conclusion that something was wrong. Completely wrong.  
  
There was a pause and finally…  
  
"Motoki's dead. This is Officer Takahashi of the Tokyo Police Department. I would advise you to hang up and allow me to continue my-"  
  
Setsuna almost dropped the phone, but stopped. She pretended as if she didn't hear that first statement. Instead she settled in recognizing who was on the other line after all.  
  
"Officer Takahashi it's me Officer Meioh with the department," she swallowed.  
  
"Oh, Meioh," the officer on the other end realized. "You shouldn't prank call a possible crime scene."  
  
Setsuna was dumbfounded she couldn't think of anything else to say. All she could think of was getting down there to Motoki's apartment. She didn't dare dribbling in the idea of what Takahashi has pronounced twice. Death and a scene. Setsuna couldn't. She pretended, she pretended with all her damn hope and fears that it was all nothing. That Motoki was okay. That he was safe.  
  
She knew better but she couldn't and wouldn't believe it. Not just yet.  
  
The phone went dead before she could say anything else and for a few seconds her troubled body continued to hold on phone to her ear hearing the dial tone like a ringing of deadly ends to come.  
  
She had to get down there NOW.  
  
The phone dropped Setsuna hurried toward the door with Mamoru in frantic questioning. He followed her outside the office, to her desk where she grabbed her keys ignoring Mamoru who hopped around her like a manic trying to find out what she suddenly knew. He followed her outside to her issued car. And stopped her snatching the keys right from her hands.  
  
Setsuna looked up angrily demanding Mamoru hand them to her.  
  
"Not until you tell me what's going on!" his panic face screamed both outside the lot of the station among the dead sky.  
  
Setsuna raked an annoyed hand through her hair. Annoyed and angry. The feelings she was receiving were filled with anger that she'd never felt before. It seemed like something was always there now plaguing her with darkness. Like in this world it never seemed to want to relieve itself away but stay huddled against her back. Mamoru wasn't making things any better. She didn't want him to know, not by her and not until she knew what was true. Another team of officers must have gotten a phone call by someone in Motoki's neighborhood apartment and without announcement went to investigate, a horrible way to find Motoki's…  
  
Setsuna pinched her eyes closed tight trying not to cry. Trying to let anger take over instead of sadness. Trying to control everything. Everything but Mamoru. Mamoru who was inside the passenger side leaning over and starting the engine already shooting the door open for Setsuna. Setsuna almost shattered couldn't stand to look at Mamoru. His almost childish endeavor. She didn't want to be the one. She didn't want to be the one along Mamoru when it all came to truth. It felt like a burden to be allowed to show a loved one a gristly appearance of the death of someone significant in his or her life. She DIDN'T want to be the one!  
  
"Damn you Mamoru just get the hell out the car!" she screamed, twirled over toward the passenger side and practically ripped the door off and began to pull and pull and pull at Mamoru to get out. Screaming losing control! Screaming for him to find somebody else! "Not me!" she hollered as she batted at him to get out of the car. "It's not going to be me Mamoru because I can't deal with it!"  
  
"Deal with WHAT!?" Mamoru required struggling to keep her off him but refusing to remove himself from the car even though she pulled and skirmished with all her might. He'd never seem Setsuna so upset. It was unclear and unspeakable to him yet, it was happening right before him. That insane animal look she put forward in that one instant and he KNEW she learned something awful. To be driven to far to exploding, she knew something and all he could do was think the worst. The worst to such uncontrollable overdrive.  
  
An overdrive that abruptly stopped leaving a beautiful ravaged Setsuna sating on the concrete of the parking lot wheezing. It was gone. The feeling had gone away. The demon.  
  
Neither spoke. Setsuna stood, straightened herself together and climbed into the drivers seat. She turned to Mamoru and shook her head. "If you decide to end your life Mamoru I'll never forgive you because it would be my fault and I hope you burn in hell for it."  
  
Mamoru was speechless but wondering sadly what was going on.  
  
  
  
"Oh my god," Setsuna moaned as she realized closer and closer that it was all true along side Mamoru who sat in the passenger seat where she drove her issued car along the apartment complex in Motoki's neighborhood. Twirls of police sirens and lights lined all around the parking lot with a medical staff on the brink in rush. A too familiar scene to the two but this time… worst… a scene based upon their story.  
  
Setsuna was calm. The ride was quiet.  
  
Mamoru looked toward the complex as Setsuna swooped into a lot and dashed out fearing, his heart racing, his eyes already burning with tears. The terror, pushing in because all he could image was the worst. The bad.  
  
"Motokiiiiiiii!" Mamoru hollered walking slowly at first that breaking out into a run hearing Setsuna call behind for him to stop. For him not to just run in like he was planning to do.  
  
But he didn't listen and Setsuna gave up with a sigh, a tired one, leading to her rubbing her face as the place seemed to eddy with heat.  
  
Setsuna stopped her worrying and ran her way through excusing herself through on-lookers gathering around. The slender woman squeezed through the building taking the stairs like a manic hopping until she reached Motoki's floor. Her pulse, her body all slowed down as the hallway came clear and there was Motoki's apartment door opened crowded with officers and snap shots blinking and someone's horrible animal like sobbing.  
  
Setsuna knew it was Mamoru and Mamoru was somewhere amidst the team of officers who blocked the door asking for him to do something involving him to step back.  
  
Her pulse racing Setsuna took a deep breath and began to move her way toward the door extremely slowly as if afraid to see what remained. What was there that could cause her emotions to shudder.  
  
And what she saw once she got pass the officers was worth that shudder as the truth was revealed in that single instant.  
  
At first all Setsuna could see was Mamoru his back toward her, but when she peered in closer she saw blood, blood everywhere and Mamoru sating in it with Motoki's terrorized head in his lap.  
  
The blood, Setsuna's mind wrapped. All that blood. Blood. So much blood. Motoki's blood.  
  
A sharp gasped escaped her lips and her hands threw against her mouth causing her to stumble into an officer who held onto her shoulders to balance the shaken woman. Setsuna didn't feel it; she felt numb and shook her head unbelievable to what she was seeing.  
  
"Oh my god," she began to cry in realization. "Oh my god… Motoki…"  
  
Setsuna started to cry and ever worst over Mamoru's constant bawling as he screamed and screamed and shook Motoki's body hard as if trying to wake him up. But Motoki wasn't going to awaken. He was dead. Mamoru still tried screaming at Motoki desperately while choking in his tears. It was so powerful to Setsuna and the other officers that it sent chills up their bodies to see this.  
  
"Our dreams!" Mamoru cried holding onto Motoki's freezing body so tight. "What about our dreams!? You bastard I told you I was sorry!" Mamoru continued to cry over Motoki while Setsuna held her distance tears rolling down her hot cheeks.  
  
Motoki was dead but how? What happened between him and Mamoru that led to this? Setsuna thought thinking back to how she didn't implore to figure out why the two had gotten into a fight in the first place. She didn't ask Mamoru back at the office and now she wished she did. Nevertheless, it didn't matter. No… it did. Whatever it was ended the life of a special friend of hers and Setsuna felt it was all Mamoru's fault. Mamoru's causing. He'd done something that hurt Motoki so much that Motoki decided to kill himself.  
  
Hatred grew inside Setsuna for Mamoru. A small seed planted in the bowels of her emotions. And now if Mamoru was to kill himself it was her turn… her turn to die because she knew she wouldn't be able to deal with it.  
  
"She's going to die," Setsuna and the others in the room could hear Mamoru cursing. Setsuna had turned away feeling sick and crying her hot tears out but listened. Listened to try to learn what had happened as Mamoru continued to curse someone as if no one was around. "I'll get her Motoki!" Mamoru cried. "I'll GET her for you!"  
  
Who? Setsuna's mind wondered her tears now slowing down. Who is this girl that supposantly caused all this. Who is Mamoru cursing about?  
  
It seemed like the scenario was going to last forever as Mamoru continued to cry and the day refused to stretch on for him.  
  
  
  
Usagi lay settled in the taxi heading toward Mina Spears concert remembering everything that happened in the last night. Remembering and remembering and remembering. After all the hiding she was doing all morning it was now nightfall and time to get her plan on the road.  
  
But still… Makoto was dead…  
  
Usagi remembered.  
  
After last night, running through the rain she ran to the boathouse after that feeling rushed through here. The feeling that Makoto was dead. She told Haruka and the two headed riskily to the hospital where they met Doctor Mizuno who revealed the truth. Haruka saw the body, Usagi refused.  
  
Haruka came out crying, a little but in her usual sternway and completely went after Usagi before she could even look up.  
  
Usagi wrenched in the cab as it hit a bump and her shoulder began to ache again. Ache where Haruka slammed her all over the hospital waiting room where they should have been trying to keep a low profile. Yelled at Usagi at how she was not only a burden but also a demon. A girl who knew the death with out of this world abilities. That hurt more than anything and Usagi fought back until Ami broke the two apart and pulled Usagi away.  
  
Doctor Mizuno told Usagi that she should just leave with her plan and that her going to jail for a night because of the two was something Usagi shouldn't worry about.  
  
Usagi could remember the entire conversation they had in Doctor Mizuno's office. That stale feeling surrounding everything. Doctor Mizuno standing so firmly at her desk while Usagi seeped deep into the cushioning of her guest seats.  
  
Doctor Mizuno folded her arms looking at a shattered Usagi. "So you plan on leaving to America? Funny how you think that's such a grand explanation to your problems when you could run anywhere else in Japan besides Tokyo. Maybe even England."  
  
"It's not like that," Usagi shook her tired head. She was so sleepy. "I have big dreams. I'm afraid I won't be able to gain them here while being so close to home. To… everything that has happened."  
  
Doctor Mizuno nodded and sighed taking her seat. "I suppose. You have a lot going for you and even though I don't know you too well I know you have what it takes."  
  
Usagi smiled finally able to crack one.  
  
"Still it's extremely risky," Doctor Mizuno said darkly. "Too much is just going on right now. I don't know if you can handle dragging Shingo along like you do."  
  
Usagi couldn't reply.  
  
"It might seem radical but maybe you can pull it off. It seems to me you've pulled off so many things already. If you feel this is really important than I believe it is and I believe in you. I've always had an adventurous side and what lead to all this kind of seems in good reasoning." Doctor Mizuno picked up her desk phone. "A simple phone call would do."  
  
Usagi looked at her reflection in the cab window as they took another corner through downtown Tokyo toward the civic center. She wanted to be excited about actually seeing Mina but was too anxious about her and Doctor Mizuno's plan. Doctor Mizuno provided Usagi with everything she needed to speak to Mina. Now it was up to Usagi. Up to her to put everything in the past behind and start moving on. Scuffled in her pockets were tickets. Usagi was ready.  
  
  
  
A small glow of light was the only thing Mamoru had in his lonely room where he sat humped over Motoki's picture and the letter Motoki had written at his suicide. Over and over Mamoru's dark eyes scanned the letter leaching in everything it drew like a dark cloud soaking up the damn very sunlight like an abyss. His body shivering over with fear, regrets, and revenge in the sense of complete annihilation. He cried some all day. He threatened to kill himself some all day.  
  
Then… it all just clicked to him.  
  
Mamoru sprung up, grabbed the nearest gun he had out along with his car keys and started making tracks tucking the picture and letter of Motoki in his coat pocket.  
  
"Whatever it takes," he mumbled to his own demons.  
  
  
  
"Whatever it takes," Usagi told herself soothing out her clothes starting toward the crowd of adoring cheering fans wishing they were there to cheer for her. Outside the civic center was a crowd of girls and boys her age and more or less screaming like maniacs to get into the concert. It was absolutely crazy and absolutely exhilarating. Her first concert and this is how she went about getting it. Mina Spears' last night in Tokyo. She was scheduled to board her private jet this very night. The night Usagi planned on somehow managing to get aboard with Shingo.  
  
Shingo…  
  
The nearest payphone caught Usagi's attention and through it she contacted one of the girls at the boathouse cell phone as planned.  
  
"Take him," Usagi hissed.  
  
"Okay," the girl answered.  
  
Usagi hung up the phone and looked at her watch. Twenty minutes before the concert starts. She had to hurry. No turning back. No thinking negatively. This was going to work.  
  
Escaping her past. Her hell and starting a new grand future. No more Kenji who started it all, no more cops running to escape, no more Michiru and Hotaru, no more being a slave to Satan, no more Haruka and sadly no more Makoto. It was now just her and Shingo once again like the beginning ending it all together. Her and Shingo forever.  
  
Usagi moved quietly and alone into the line planning to continue to put it all behind and enjoy herself this once. This night. To be normal again. And she smiled. She smiled so boldly and wildly in that line and pretty soon found herself cheering along with the crowd happy. Happy that it was finally going to be over. That there was hope at the end of her passive deadly walk on hell's bridges.  
  
  
  
"WHERE IS SHE!?" Mamoru raged once more slamming Michiru's left cheek into one of the dressing room mirrors. The girl cried out in pain. Mamoru had her sea-green hair gripped tight in his hands and his other at her throat and he wasn't letting go. All the other girls exited the dressing room at Mamoru's demand leaving him along with a frightened Michiru, frightened and angry.  
  
"I don't know… who you're talking about," she stammered trudging her neck to break free of his powerful hold.  
  
"Don't make me ask again," Mamoru screamed, pulled her head back and slammed her cheek once again into the mirror cracking it and splitting a tilt of blood on Michiru who forced down a pitiful cry. "WHERE THE HELL IS SHE!?"  
  
Michiru was too afraid to speak. She knew who he was talking about. Princess… Usagi, last time Michiru had heard Usagi had quit working and was heading toward some concert. She'd dropped what she was doing last night talking to Michiru about their dreams. Dropped what she was doing and ran claiming she'd felt as if someone had just died. Michiru knew about Usagi going to a concert but then everything seemed so surreal with Usagi. One minute their dreams the next minute a death. Michiru couldn't be sure and now, even worst, this cop barging into the dressing room pass security with his damn badge looking for Usagi only to find Michiru, the girl he'd spotted her with the night he brought Usagi home.  
  
I told her! Michiru screamed in her aching head. I told Usagi he was bad news and now I'm sating here getting my ass kicked because of her. What did she do? What did she possibility do this time in her sad life to have brought this asshole in here to hurt me?  
  
"I guess you have a hearing problem!" With that Mamoru jerked Michiru's head backward so hard letting loose that she swirled around on her heels spinning with a whimper slamming into the set of lockers on the other side of the room. The battered woman crumbled her hair a mess over her bleeding face.  
  
Then she heard the click…  
  
Too afraid to look up she focused on surviving this manic. He was crazy absolutely crazy and Michiru was so familiar with that sound. That click. She remember several nights, several nights when men weren't getting what they wanted out of her. Her full potential they'd get aggressive and that single click meant she had to do right by them or fulfill her destiny in death.  
  
The cop had drew a gun on her.  
  
She began to quiver.  
  
Mamoru's stone steps went marching toward her, he threw back her disheveled hair and raised the Beretta against her face lifting up her quivering near- tears face. Michiru could feel it. The cold barrel of the Beretta pressed against her temple. She closed her eyes and somewhere beneath it all prayed he would go ahead and fire. End all her hell. But she wanted to live. She still had dreams and she refused to let him do anymore harm.  
  
But now…  
  
"Where… is… she…?" Mamoru pressed deeply, stingingly, delicately angrily in her face once again as if slowing it down for maybe the Beretta aimed at her brain could clear her memory.  
  
Michiru really wasn't the type to squeal but this time. Usagi was on her own. Michiru wanted to live. Usagi had brought this manic to her and now she wanted to give him back to Usagi. I guess she meant she wanted Usagi to die because now. Now seemed like exactly what the plan was to happen.  
  
But would he really shoot her if she declined to tell what she knows?  
  
That look in his eyes told her the difference.  
  
"Some…" she choked. "Something about a concert that she wanted to go to tonight. That's… that's all I know."  
  
"Very good," Mamoru smiled darkly.  
  
Just as Michiru felt some relief the man smashed the side of the Beretta against her head. Michiru deteriorated.  
  
  
  
Usagi couldn't enjoy the concert too long. Before she knew it she was oozing her way backstage noticing the not so tight security. She had to make her way backstage while Mina Spears was performing. All the focus would be on Mina, not a girl snooping around backstage. Maybe because this was her final night in Japan the security wasn't so hot. Her final night ending in Tokyo.  
  
Usagi made her way into a lower thin isolate corridor among the civic center. White plastered walls, shiny floor, plants and signs and equipment sat everywhere. She moved quietly through the area looking at every door for Mina Spears' dressing room. Where she planned on hiding no matter how insane it was.  
  
Everything's been insane lately.  
  
Usagi's one hope was that Mina Spears wouldn't freak out and have a cow. There just wasn't any room for that. Another hope actually was that Mina was more on Usagi's level. That she really wasn't a cold-hearted stuck up bitch.  
  
Finally Usagi spotted the dressing room reading Mina's tag on front, she reached for the knob…  
  
"MINA!" a voice rasped behind Usagi at the end of the corridor where she'd entered. She was too afraid to look her hand just above the doorknob.  
  
Removing her frozen exterior a bit Usagi turned her eyes to the right to see a girl about her height with long black hair standing at the stairs with her hands on her hips and a frown on her face dressed in black.  
  
"Mina!" the girl called again.  
  
Mina? Usagi's mind wondered until it clicked. Oh. She thinks I'm Mina Spears.  
  
Usagi couldn't help but to find pleasure in it with a smile. Soon enough her destiny was to be larger than Mina.  
  
When the girl took charge it started to get more dangerous.  
  
"Mina what's your problem?" the girl strongly asked grabbing a distressed Usagi's shoulders turning her to look face to face. The girl in black was surprisingly strong and held Usagi firmly. "You should be changing!" The girl in black looked down at Usagi's clothes and sneer. "We're not doing the slut dance until later now go change."  
  
"Who… who are you?" Usagi asked stupidly knowing she was suppose to at least PRETEND she knew the girl to get by.  
  
"You're bodyguard Rei remember," the dark haired girl opened up the dressing room throwing Usagi inside. "Now get dressed and stop being such a whiny-ass about what you have to wear. The intermission isn't going to last now get changed!"  
  
BAM!  
  
The door slammed in an uncollected Usagi's face.  
  
Usagi blinked. "O-kayyyyyyyyy."  
  
There came a scream and Usagi turned to find the true Mina Spears half naked looking at her like she was mad crazy.  
  
"You nasty old whore you!" Mina yelled throwing a bottle of perfume at Usagi who grabbed it, took a sniff, sprayed herself then dropped the bottle. "Why are you here!? I'm not making any movies now and I told you not to follow me around anymore!"  
  
"Huh?" Usagi tilted her head.  
  
"You are my stunt devil right?" Mina asked slipping on her outfit to get back on stage quickly. "You little pervert!" Mina Spears stopped and looked at Usagi a little closer. "Wait… you really are a girl. My apologies."  
  
"I need to talk to you," Usagi tried as Mina Spears moved around the room pulling herself together with earrings and jewelry. Usagi felt like she wasn't being heard but she kept trying. "I need to talk to you about your plane ride tonight. It's important that I-"  
  
There was a knock at the door catching both girls attention. "You got two minutes to get on stage Mina!" a man hollered.  
  
"I'm cominggggggggg!" Mina replied slipping into her heels.  
  
Usagi shook her head. "I need a lift. Well me and my brother. We're your biggest fans and we need a ride back with you."  
  
Usagi wanted to give up. The girl just didn't seem to be listening until she headed to the door, stopped, and looked at Usagi. "Write a letter," Mina Spears suggested. "Sat down and write a letter."  
  
"Wha?" Usagi looked back at her as she exited the dressing room with a slam of the door. Her eyes feeling like mush rolling back in her head Usagi went to Mina Spears vanity spotting everything she needed and got to work. So far it wasn't going like she planned.  
  
  
  
Well that's kinda it on that chapter. The next chapter is the final chapter. Will Usagi make it along with Shingo? What's going to happen? What's FINALLY going to happen? How is this all going to end? Find out… next week – errrrr – whenever I get finished. Cherry-bye for now. 


	8. Chapter 8

NAME: Towel (1/14/02 – 4/5/02)  
  
E-MAIL: MoonTowel18@msn.com  
  
TITLE: Papa-Kenji… Please No More  
  
RATING: PG-13  
  
NOTE: Well it's been a good six or seven… or EIGHT months writing this story but it's finally time to end it *sob sob*. It's like having to clear a lot of things to concentrate on other things I guess (shrug). But finally I'm down to the last and final drop. And here it goes…. FINALLY. Last chapter Setsuna and Mamoru discovered Motoki's death; Haruka and Usagi discovered Makoto's death. Mamoru vows to kill the prostitute who he blames caused all of what happened which in fact is actually the girl he's been looking for all along. And Usagi finally decides to see if she could get help from the megastar Mina. I guess all there is now is to find out what happens to the rest of the characters in this conclusion. I absolutely cannot WAIT till springtime!!!!!  
  
DISCLAIMER: Sailor Moon 1992-2002. Naoko Takeuchi. Kondansha Ltd. And Toei Animation.  
  
THANKS: Er'body who read this story and liked it( and RE: CV soundtrack for keeping me dedicated and into what was written without straying off from the pressure, and of course Naoko  
  
~~~~~~~~~~Papa-Kenji… Please No More~~~~~~~~~~  
  
CHAPTER 8  
  
FINALE  
  
The room began to spin inward as the curtains rose up in the dressing room where Usagi sat plastered against Mina Spears' vanity chair. Her bottom warm and itchy with splitter nerves as she watched quietly as Mina began reading the letter she spend thirty minutes in the damp dressing room putting together. Thirty minutes relieving and revealing the nearly two weeks secret braces against her life. Usagi had poured everything into that letter, everything she could and cried throughout the entire process until her eyes were puffy and red.  
  
Mina's clock kept ticking with each uneasy heart pace as she stood there in the center of her dressing room her eyes scanning the stationary paper as Usagi tried to read them. Tried to read those eyes that seemed to soak in everything. Soak in everything to some amazement of sorts. Almost like a movie, a drama that was too real.  
  
Mina's bodyguard Rei stood at the rear of the room, her shaded purple eyes roaming elsewhere upset at Usagi's presence in the room in the first place and how Mina just let her stay. Still she wasn't about to get too much involved with things and allowed Mina to read the blond's letter without a fuss although she'd glance at her clock every six seconds or so to make sure they remained on time. Rei did have a curiosity for what was on the letter, at first she figured just another fan letter but the velocity around the room told her differently. There was no excitement and she felt it. There was only… darkness. Moving so slowly. It was almost unbearable for her to stand still in the murkiness but she managed and therefore became probing as to what exactly was in that letter to disrupt the atmosphere.  
  
Usagi wanted to shift in her seat as her eyes buried themselves on Mina who read the letter up close to her face her tiny pink lips mouthing along every word. She tried so desperately to let Mina know everything. Let her know this wasn't a joke and make it sound as desperate as for her radical plan to hitch a ride with Mina was going to work. Usagi couldn't deal with anymore of this strife and she felt that if she were given more at this very moment it would be the end of her. She'd finish it off for real. She was at the end of the rope.  
  
And so Mina kept at her reading. Engrossed and completely sickened at the same time her eyes blinking in disgust as she'd never read or HEARD a thing as awful as this. And it made her want to throw up and throw the girl out of her dressing room because she didn't want to believe something as sinister as this was true. Sure she'd read fan letters of abuse but this one… this was just too… too much. However, it was the little boy mentioned several times in the letter that kept Mina from tripping on the girl and tossing her on out. All Mina could do was imaging what kind of life he'd led if all this continued.  
  
Mina quickly figured out what kind of life he'd led at the end when the girl made a claim in her letter that this was her final try, if this goes wrong then it's over for her.  
  
Mina blinked her large blue eyes lowering the letter. She raised a hand over her mouth sighing as she looked at the blond Usagi girl and tried to figure out was this really just a joke. Some insane fan? She knew almost otherwise as she stared into the blond girl's weary blue redden eyes that cried for help. The girl did look awful. Shabby and just… used all up. And if she were to go on she wouldn't make it. Nor would her brother.  
  
Still it was so insane. Why'd she have to pick Mina!? Why jump to such drastic means to get on her private jet? There was nothing there. What kind of life did she think she'd led back in Mina's country? It would just be even harder and Mina didn't want the responsibility. She had a career; she'd done right in life and didn't want this screwing it all up.  
  
"I can't…" Mina choked closing her eyes turning away from Usagi's eyes. Mina shook her head. "I just can't – you can't be serious!" Mina turned sharply toward Usagi almost in rage. "You're putting so much on the line! ME! My career! How can you think something like this!?"  
  
Usagi stood up in a rush. "Because I have no choice!" she pled forcing back the biting tears. "I have no choice but to trust in you! I have nothing but Shingo and I-"  
  
Rei began to move in taking the letter from Mina's hands and started scanning it finally ready to confirm any unclear accusations she owned.  
  
Mina raked a saucy hand through her hair. "You do have a choice!" she persevered. "A choice to find another way! I can't…" Mina paused closing her eyes for a second not really in the sharing mood to continue this conversation. "I can't be responsible for you two once the plane lands."  
  
"And you won't!" Usagi nodded forcing herself not to cry. Forcing Mina to understand. For someone to just UNDERSTAND and help her for once. "Once the plane lands me and my brother will be out of your sight. Far away. We won't ask for anything more."  
  
"No," Mina shook her head. "No, no, no, NO! Look at you!" Mina shot a gesturing hand toward Usagi. "If this is what you look like here in Japan think about in another country! You'll be on the streets again. It's just all going to be even worst! You're not going to make it!"  
  
"Yes I CAN!" Usagi roared ready to punch the hell out of Mina Spears in her aggravation!  
  
"NO! You can barely do it here!" Mina spoke sternly inspecting Usagi from head to toe as the girl got heated.  
  
Usagi took striding steps toward Mina her hands in fist at her sides. "I know the language. I'll adapt but I know I can do this!"  
  
Rei balled up the letter tossing it in the nearest wastebasket and looked up at Usagi and simply said blankly: "Bring her."  
  
Mina and Usagi looked at Rei with an unsure pleasure.  
  
Rei nodded to confirm their looks. "Bring her. She's coming with us."  
  
Usagi smiled but Mina jumped in angry her long blond locks whisky cutting the heat steaming in the air before Usagi at the turn.  
  
"Are you crazy!?" Mina cried out. "You've just lost your damn mind Rei! That's risking YOUR job and-"  
  
"No it's not," Rei contended taking Mina's shoulders with a warm smile then she moved into Mina's ear and began to whisper.  
  
Usagi just looked and when she saw Mina Spears turn around with a huge glowing smile she figured nothing more than she was on her way to becoming a popstar.  
  
Usagi wanted to smile back but the intensity of her sadness held her facial muscles into a constant bawl. If she was able then there was no reason to question anything. No reason to question why Rei choose so or Mina suddenly shined with excitement. There was no question. Usagi just wanted it and was going to just get it without thinking about the future and what could possibly be next.  
  
A small part of her however wanted to know what gave; forcing it aside she calmly shook her head.  
  
Rei looked at her watch then demanded Mina hurry and get dressed. She took Usagi along with her outside the dressing room and into the crowded thin hallway where crewmen were working to break down the stage upstairs. Usagi stepped out of the path of a large man carrying a piece of equipment.  
  
"Usagi," Rei spoke nearly shocking the girl as she whisked back to Rei's side. With a gesture of her head Rei implored Usagi to follow her where the two dipped into an alcove sitting area right, implanted in the trafficking hallway. "Take a seat." Rei insisted as Usagi settled onto a cushioned seat, Rei standing before her.  
  
At first Usagi could only look at the floor but feeling Rei's shadow doubted the floor had answers and Usagi's head craned up to look into Rei's dark eyes.  
  
"This is a dangerous situation," Rei began keeping herself closed to only Usagi her arms folded in power. "Before you ask I want to explain why I'm agreeing."  
  
Usagi blinked. "Wh – why?" she was almost afraid to ask.  
  
"Because I honestly believe you need help," she said darkly. Then Rei stopped and beamed a winning smile along side a fingering peace sign. "If this gets into the papers Mina's album sells will skyrocket!"  
  
"Oh," Usagi slumped due to Rei's rude awakening of information.  
  
So that's why, Usagi thought wryly until she really focused on the issue.  
  
Would that mean she'd be in the papers everywhere in America? Would that mean her story will get out and she'd be a criminal there likewise? One thing was for sure, Usagi wasn't thinking things completely through and even she knew it.  
  
No, Usagi disagreed shaking her head. Think positively. Everything is going to be fine.  
  
"Hi-hiiiiii!" Mina peeked around the alcove corner. "I'm readyyyyyyy!" she grinned.  
  
"Awesome," Rei clapped her hands together.  
  
  
  
"Security, security, security," Mamoru hollered holding up his badge merging through the civic hallways toward the ending concert. He emerged into the dissembling of the auditorium where the stage performance had ended thirty minutes ago. Men everywhere dressed in black were working the equipment apart and he scanned his eyes left and right holding his hand against the upper level balcony reaching to spot the girl. That girl that seemed so familiar. The girl he hadn't figured out just yet over. The girl who murdered Motoki.  
  
There was no time to think about the past. It was time to finish off the future and seeing not a single fan was in sight he whirled around and followed up his plan to check the backstage area. Mamoru stormed through and through, he KNEW the blond girl was somewhere around.  
  
And she was…  
  
Usagi sat silently praying to herself that everything would work out just fine as she sat in between Mina and Rei in Mina's limousine driving through the pathway created by the millions of ruckus fans screaming and cheering as Mina reared her head out the window to smile and wave. Usagi sat silently in envy. Complete and total.  
  
The weaken girl kept her hands together over her lap and just looked at them stealing glances of her hopeful dreams to come which were planted on Mina.  
  
One step at a time, Usagi told herself.  
  
She continued to pray. Pray that Shingo would be at the airport as planned when she called the boathouse earlier. Prayed that she wouldn't lose her control. Pray that this was all going to finally be over.  
  
Usagi began to cry hoping that she was dried up…  
  
  
  
Mamoru had finally gotten his clue. Mina was leaving toward her private line at the airport in company, another blond girl. What other choice did Mamoru have to take than follow up on it and rush to his car? He was determined and had not a single peep of sanity in his mind. He just wanted the girl dead.  
  
But what was this thing that kept telling him that he KNEW the girl from somewhere? Over and over again something told him that he'd meet her before. Like he knew her face from somewhere…  
  
It was almost like the girl from that picture. The girl who'd murdered her father…  
  
Could it be the same girl? He thought gunning the gas toward the airport. In either case it was time to find out.  
  
  
  
Usagi wrapped her arms around a teary eyed Shingo and thanked Haruka of all people who'd brought Shingo back to her in tow both their book bags. The bags that would be taking away last hopes and wishes with them. The bag that would take what remained of their old life. They're gone life.  
  
There was so much tension in the near vacant airport terminal. They were to embark onto Mina's plane from the runway at its arrival. Until then an ecstatic Shingo sat alongside Mina while Haruka pulled Usagi aside.  
  
"I'm going as far away as I possibly can?" Usagi avoided Haruka's eyes while watching only Haruka's neck as she spoke. "You'll never see me again." Usagi then forced a grin. "Unless you turn on the television."  
  
Haruka snuffed folding her heavy arms looking down on Usagi. It amazed Haruka in the very end how brave and enduring Usagi was. She was still alive and somewhat sane. Just too many these days and Usagi's well being being at stake so much and her provisory to pull out safely was slight astonishing to Haruka. Then again, Haruka felt she'd been through far worst and maybe Usagi was surviving by luck.  
  
Nevertheless, sorry and regretting a lot of the things that pushed Usagi away from Haruka, Haruka opened up her arms and collected the small blond youth in a tight hug.  
  
"You just continue to be lucky and careful," Haruka whispered into Usagi's ear. "Continue keeping a low profile and promise me that I'll see you safe and on television one of these days when it's all finally over."  
  
A tear slipped from Usagi's right eye as if her eyes were to never remain empty of them that she held for everyone; she nestled in the comforting clutches of Haruka's arms. Usagi nodded. Sadden that she had to leave Haruka. Sadden that Makoto had died protecting her and now Haruka was being left alone with practically no family. As much as Usagi wanted to stop and hold everything there and tell Haruka that she'd stay alongside her almost like a second sister, Usagi knew better. She didn't have long staying afloat before the police would come and take her away from Shingo. Take her away from her OWN lasting family. Something Usagi wouldn't be able to deal with. There was no way Usagi and Shingo could stay together as long as they were within where they were. Hell and a little bit more of something else…  
  
"I'll give it my all," Usagi responding hurrying to dry her eyes before Haruka could see and call her weak as they pulled apart.  
  
The two looked into each other's eyes. Reasoning, once again looking for another thing to clinch against too.  
  
Usagi was weak when Haruka wasn't looking. Haruka leaving out of the terminal not turning her back on her past and yet her accomplishment in Usagi. Usagi cried and mouthed a silent "thank you" and Haruka was gone.  
  
Before Usagi knew it Haruka was out of her life…  
  
A soft hand slid onto Usagi's trembling shoulders, as it was Rei informing Usagi that it was time to go.  
  
Usagi nodded and wiped her eyes turning. Shingo handed his sister her book bag and she held onto him tight bending down to his level looking deep into his eyes. Searching and hoping for no objectives.  
  
"We're about to start a new life together," Usagi told her younger brother. He couldn't cry. He just couldn't cry. "A life far away, just you and I. I know we really don't know what's out there but… together we'll make it. We just have to trust that everything is going to be alright."  
  
Shingo nodded his paling head. He didn't care. He stopped caring long ago. All he'd do was follow his sister and do his best to keep himself together.  
  
Usagi threw her brother into a hug and the two followed Rei and Mina and Mina's accompany crew out to the runway.  
  
As the team walked toward Mina's plane settled on the runway a chilling air floated over Usagi's head like ice. Something was wrong-  
  
"FREEZE!"  
  
Everyone turned and there he stood.  
  
Usagi gasped sharply near a choke as she recognized him and knew exactly why he was there. Knew exactly why the barrel of his pistol was pointed right at her from afar immediately as he stepped out of the airport taxi that drove him onto the runway pausing at the edge near the terminal. Security didn't follow from the distance. It was he and Usagi; ready to dig her hole at the very site.  
  
Always something, always something coming to end her dreams. Always something turning around and nipping her four times over.  
  
The man she'd felt she could fall in love with, the stranger, stood there one leg out of the yellow taxi. His pistol seemingly burrowing right into Usagi's frozen flesh. His black tie flapping in the air spewing a sinister wind.  
  
Usagi was terrified. He followed up on her and was now about to destroy her for destroying is relationship. Rather being apart of it. Then there was her selfishness involved. Still… was this the end?  
  
"It's over Tsukino Usagi!" the man yelled splitting the knife through Usagi's heart. And now… not only was he back for revenge but he was apart of the one thing that could completely take her away from her brother. With the expanding grudge it wouldn't lead to a foster home, not even prison, it would only lead to murder. And Usagi knew that beyond those deadly eyes were the tolls for vengeance. The score had to be settled and now that he knew she was much more of a fugitive was all the more reason to blast the hell out of her and see it as otherwise than his own demons commanding him to take the life of his despair. His mistake.  
  
"What's going on!?" Rei shouted stepping between Usagi and her pursier. "Go away before I call the-!"  
  
"They're already here," the man wiped out his badge. "The name's Chiba Mamoru, and I am here to take Tsukino Usagi and her brother!"  
  
Usagi grimaced. This couldn't be happening yet it made sense. She had to pay for all the awful things she'd done. But while she was so damn close? NO!  
  
Usagi's fire began to burn. She was just TOO close.  
  
Mamoru held the pistol tight and took small enduring steps toward the silent group who at all didn't know exactly what to say or what to explain. "You lose Usagi, you've been gone long enough and it's time to take you in! And Motoki! It was YOU! It was all YOU the whole time wasn't it!?"  
  
Usagi's fire burned greater and without her knowing she pulled her book bag over her chest and opened it slightly fishing her hands inside. She never thought she could do this and literally make her a true fugitive but she wasn't going to take this. She wasn't going to allow his sins to be paid by her life.  
  
Usagi's fingers wrapped around the cold metal.  
  
And before she knew it she threw the revolver out of it's hiding, aimed and fired almost blindly with effort, the impact nearly sending the meek blond rocketing to the asphalt. Mamoru fired back. Screams erupted; panic consumed the area. It was just all wrong and all Usagi could do was fire another round as Mamoru charged toward the team. Usagi stopped, ducked low, grabbed Shingo and scuttled her way toward the plane as low and out of sight among Mina's cowering crew as she could. She'd caused the distraction and now was her and Shingo's turn to make a run for the plane within the sea of people without being seen.  
  
One hand gripped Shingo's soft flesh. The other held onto the magnificent power of her father's revolver held tight in her hand. The two went as fast as they could and was almost there before the wailing screams of Mina erupted.  
  
"NO! Let me go! REI!"  
  
An insane Mamoru held Mina Spears in his clutches dragging the helpless girl back to the taxi where the driver had made a run for it once the shooting began. A helpless Mina struggling screaming and aching painfully to break free of Mamoru's grasp as he held the pistol coldly against her right temple her nails clawing at the manly arm wrapped around her throat.  
  
Usagi was too afraid to turn as she dove behind a baggage cart carrying stage equipment and otherwise with Shingo at her side chilling through the night whispering something unrecognizable in his frightened voice.  
  
"LET HER GO YOU MANIC!" Rei snarled running forth only to stop as Mamoru fired a bullet at her. Rei hit the asphalt fast and hard.  
  
"Back home!" Mamoru's panic horsing eyes proclaimed. "I'm taking her back home! Back home to die!" At that Mamoru brought the butt of the pistol rigid against Mina Spears' skull and the blond faded at the instant.  
  
Usagi finally got the nerve to peek beyond the baggage cart only to find Mamoru toss Mina into the car holding the crew at bay with his pistol until he got inside and sped off skidding the tires in grappling smoke.  
  
Security guards threw up their pistols aiming at the car now that Mina Spears was tucked away from their aim and they began to blow rounds into the speeding yellow taxi car as it flew down the runway turning away completely.  
  
Mamoru was gone and along with him a debilitate popstar.  
  
Usagi felt sick. It seemed like it was her fault. If only she wasn't so angry. So upset to have fired first then Mamoru wouldn't have taken Mina in the mix. Wouldn't have taken her at all!? If only! But damnit! She was always risking someone's life! Selfish! Selfish! Just didn't THINK! DIDN'T THINK!  
  
Usagi knew she couldn't let Mina die. Not like Makoto. Not while Mina was risking a lot herself just to give Usagi a new life. She HAD to stop Mamoru and before she knew it she was up and running after them revolver at tow and satan at arm.  
  
"USAGIIIIIIII!" Shingo yelled for her to halt. But Usagi had to keep going. As long as Shingo was with the others he was safe. As long as he wasn't around Mamoru he was safe. As long as he wasn't there to see her kill Mamoru he was safe.  
  
Usagi didn't count on Shingo following her every step.  
  
"I'm calling the authorities to get this manic," Rei grated near tears at the horrible site of her best friend being harmed. She pulled out her cell phone and prepared to make plans to put both Usagi and Mamoru behind bars… for life…  
  
  
  
A startled Mina blinked her eyes feeling the small thin trickle of blood seep into her right eyelashes. Everything was a blur except for the voice and the large dark shape standing before her. Her arms were pinned. Her head lying lazily to her side and she hurt… especially in the head. Throbbing. She was sore.  
  
Harsh gritting rope dug into her tender flesh and with each movement her body quaked with pain and with each booming announcing of the buzzing voice above her went off her head chimed as if under the bell of a tower. She couldn't understand a word but knew it was sensitive to her ears.  
  
Mina wanted to vomit and her vision was so weary but slowly coming to.  
  
There was white carpeting. Dim lighting. She blinked feeling the wetness clog into her eyelashes.  
  
"It's about time Usagi!" the manly voice boomed to where Mina was finally about to make it out. She struggled to lift her tired head, her blond hair spewing in its mess.  
  
"U… Usagi," she choked swallowing the dryness in her throat. The name had a face but the situation was still vague. What happened? What could she remember? Mina closed her eyes tight and tried to think. Tried to gather all the holes in her head. She remembered, guns, a little fighting, a girl, and a car.  
  
Suddenly a cold hand threw her chin up and she opened her tired aching eyes to the face of a twisted threatening young man.  
  
Mina's emergency alarms began to pick up and her mentality shifted to panic. She recognized that face and remembered EVERYTHING.  
  
She started to scream but couldn't get it out only dosing over in sincerest pain.  
  
"It's over Usagi," the man hissed into her face. "All over. I finally got you. Got you all alone to do what's meant to be done."  
  
Even in Mina's state she knew better to object. She just wasn't Usagi what so ever.  
  
"I'm not…" she forced tightening her eyes then continued. "I'm not Usagi."  
  
"SHUT UP!" Mamoru outraged striking the girl across the face.  
  
Mina began to cry. She was terrified and already in enough pain. Was this what she deserved for assonating along with Usagi's curses? For trying to help her. All this pain? Was this what she deserved for trying to do something right in another person's coarsened life?  
  
"Pleaseeeeeee," Mina pled her face wet and red and her eyes eyeing the white carpeting of someone's house… someone's living room. She was so afraid that she tembled. "I'm not Usagi. Please let me go-"  
  
"NO! You'll never fool me again!" Mamoru shoot up and paced slightly. "Not this time," he grind his jaw, all the anguish from his mistakes tightening against his heart and prone mind. "You have to die!" Mamoru threw the barrel of the gun into the girl's face. "You just have to die!"  
  
All Mina could do was cry and think was this it. Was this how it was all going to end? Her paying the price for someone else's problems? Someone else's sins? Was this really how it all was going to end?  
  
"It's so simple," Mamoru threw down his gun from her face. "So simple. You fuck up and you have to pay for it simple as that," he paced menacingly. "So simple. Simple simple SIMPLE."  
  
Mina couldn't question him. She was too fearful of asking the wrong thing and could only pray that someone could quickly to rescue her.  
  
Mamoru moved around the Tsukino's living room and took a picture of the family off the wall. He hated the picture. The whole time he was there it looked at him. All those happy eyes just kept looking at him. With the picture he thrust it into a sobbing Mina's face.  
  
"See, happy huh!? Allllllllllllllllll happy!" he's eyes wielded. "Happy little family! SEE!? I was happy! I was happy! HAPPY!" He pushed the frame deeming into Mina's shattered face. "Now that YOU'RE not happy like this picture, you decide to take it on me too! To curse ME!"  
  
The picture flew out of Mamoru's hands as he threw it across the room where it shattered darkly in it's own corner. He looked down at a broken Mina and threw his lips against hers. Hard and hungrily pressing himself against her as she refused and muffled feebly for him to stop but he continued. Holding his lips against hers dangerously nearly toppling the dinning room chair she laid tied on over onto the floor.  
  
Mamoru pulled away. Drew back from her. Held up the pistol…  
  
"Sweet dreams." His finger reached for the trigger.  
  
Right on time the front door threw open and there she stood the revolver gripping treacherously in her uncontrolling hands aimed at Mamoru who looked at her even as she laid showered in the darkness.  
  
It was Usagi.  
  
While he was open Usagi fired sending Mamoru wailing over, over, over, over, over, and-  
  
SPAAAA-LASHHHHHHHH! Through the Tsukino's coffee table.  
  
Usagi's heavy breath echoed through the room and Mina's panic relieved voice cried out. Usagi… exhausted beyond belief from her run. She'd ran. She'd ran so damn hard to stop it all. Her feet hurt, her lungs deprived of salvaged oxygen. But she ran. She ran. She was NOT going to let Mina die. Nobody else was going to die for her.  
  
Silence.  
  
Mamoru laid fallen into the glass coffee table as if sleeping. Laid quietly a bloody bullet wound reverberation in his left shoulder. As much as Usagi wanted to she just COULDN'T kill him. She couldn't kill anyone. She'd won the battle with satan after all even as he drove her feet to move.  
  
Usagi immediately went to Mina's aid and struggled to untie the girl which took a lot of effort and just as she began to get the last bindings Mamoru awoke like ghost and blew the girl over onto the floor powerfully with the butt of his pistol against her chest. As Usagi laid she rolled against the carpet as Mamoru exploded a shattering bullet where she once laid. Expecting Mamoru to continue firing at her, instead he grabbed a freeing Mina and held her roughly again dragging her outside the house as once again she was helpless.  
  
Out into the darkness.  
  
Usagi wanted to cry. Wanted to crawl right upstairs to her bed and wake up. Wake up completely. While she was there. To just wake up. She was in so much pain but kept it all aside as she rose up to follow Mamoru. She HAD to save Mina and this time she wasn't going to miss her aim toward Mamoru's death. He was a crazy. Insane and he HAD to be stopped. Nevertheless after all this Usagi knew her life was over. There was nothing left for her to do but stop Mamoru and prepare to be separated from Shingo. Her life was all over.  
  
Mamoru walked into his own trap. Outside he was greeted greatly with a blockage of police cars from either side of the road while he stood among their headlights in the center of the residential area just as they screeched to a halt sirens blaring their familiar tunes of justice. Mamoru just laughed as the team shield themselves pass their open doors and raised their weaponry against an unstable Mamoru who held Mina even tighter, the pistol against her head.  
  
Mamoru just laughed. All he could do was laugh at the whole mess and couldn't believe he was on the other side for once. Way on the other side. And he knew his life was over as it was.  
  
"Mamoru!" Setsuna's racy body streamed from one of the drivers seats. Mamoru swung around with Mina roughly at slave toward his best friend's voice. "Mamoru," Setsuna called again. "Mamoru, how about we talk!? Want to talk!?"  
  
"NO!" Mamoru hollered. "I don't want to fucking TALK! I want… I want…"  
  
"Motoki I know," Setsuna answered. "I do too Mamoru but Motoki's gone and this isn't going to bring him back one bit! Let the girl go Mamoru and let's talk! Let's talk about… about those good days! Days with you Motoki and myself at the academy! Remember those days!?"  
  
"But…!"  
  
"It's okay Mamoru, we can talk!"  
  
Mamoru shook his head as streams of tears slide down his dirty face. Mamoru began to crumble and Setsuna began to walk toward him. She was getting to him. So terribly afraid, she was getting to him. Her best friend.  
  
Setsuna was so scared. She knew it was all over Motoki that Mamoru was going insane. How when he discovered Motoki's body he plotted revenge on someone. A pop idol Setsuna never would have guessed until the station got a call of a kidnap from the airport leading the team to the Tsukino residence. Everything was so related it seemed. Mamoru's obsession over finding the children that murdered their father weeks ago, and now to see Mamoru step from the exact house it that started it all.  
  
Was Mamoru really lost to her now was her greatest fear?  
  
"They – " Mamoru followed up sobbing. "They took Motoki Setsuna!"  
  
Setsuna shook her head sending her forest-green hair waving as she stopped at the hood of the police car she'd stepped from. "No one took Motoki away but himself! And it's time we talk about that! We have to talk our things out Mamoru!"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOO!" Mamoru wailed and his sobbing ended, he stood straight and pressed the pistol harder against Mina's temple. Mina winched and cried out. "Talking doesn't help! What helps is to stop those that take away the ones we love!"  
  
Setsuna stopped at her final step and at that point realized she'd lost Mamoru completely. The look in his eyes told her he was gone. Long gone. She almost had him until-  
  
"Mamoru!" a small young blond girl exited the house Setsuna spotted. The girl was crying Setsuna could tell. "I can promise you Mamoru that killing won't solved anything!" the girl informed bravely. "It only causes more problems!"  
  
Usagi was valiant. She stepped forward after listening to the incident. She stepped forward so valiantly and yet so distressing that she had to cry. Mamoru was confused and lost and she knew exactly how it felt. EXACTLY.  
  
Mamoru looked at her as she continued.  
  
"It solves nothing Mamoru! My mother died and you know what happened? My father couldn't deal with it. He became lost! He made me into something horrible that I'm not and I stood strong and afraid to ever tell anyone! I told no one about what he did to me! I didn't TALK to anyone Mamoru!" Usagi cleared her throat. "My father's dead now! Killed by his own children and now look where I'm at! LOOK WHERE I'M ATTTTTTTT!" Usagi screamed near a fall. Her eyes burning with tears. "I'm no where! We killed my father hoping all our problems were to be solved and look where it got us! Nowhere! My life is over and I'm only fifteen! And you want to know why? Because killing solves nothing! If only I had the strength to talk to someone about what I was going through then I'd still have a father! I'd still have a LIFE! But instead I kept it to myself and allowed someone else to take up my problems, my own brother! He took up my problems and ended them all only to toss me straight into hell!"  
  
Usagi stopped before the sidewalk.  
  
"I'm Usagi Mamoru!" Usagi opened up her arms and pushed her chest forward. "She's not! And if you believe what I told you then you'd let her go! However if you don't, I'll allow you to take my life until you learn!"  
  
Mamoru said nothing. Nothing at all until-  
  
He shot his forever-lost eyes up into Usagi from the road.  
  
"I WILL BE WITH MOTOKI FOREVER!" he yelled and fired the bullet into Mina.  
  
Like an erupting volcanoe Mina Spears' bloody astuteness spewed across the horrible road and she dropped lifelessly as an army of angled bullet rounds went stabbing into Mamoru smoking up fire at each pull of the triggers.  
  
Explosion after explosion after explosion. Hole after hole blowing through Mamoru's swollen body.  
  
Usagi screamed covering her eyes stepping far away. Setsuna fell to the concrete, to her knees.  
  
The rounds receded and the bloody tattered body of Chiba Mamoru crossed lifelessly over Mina Spears' body.  
  
It was over.  
  
A once healthy, lively, succeeding youth with her world, her life, ahead of her. Once a sane, handsome, incredible, and honorable man. The death of two souls. Hopefully they could find peace….  
  
Usagi on the other hand felt like the last to go. With both Mamoru and Mina killed before her eyes…. While the police and ambulance pulled together to gather the bodies she went into her house like she did so many times before shutting the door behind her and there was Shingo. Standing at the foot of the stairs just looking at her.  
  
Usagi scooped up the revolver from the floor and softly told him to go up to her room. And without questing he did so.  
  
Time to break the lock on her cage. Time to end it all completely. No more running, hiding, no nothing. Time… it was always time.  
  
As Usagi got to her room covered in yellow tape, her once white pure carpet now stained with her father's blood she told Shingo to look. To turn around and look at what he'd did. Look at what he'd caused and while Shingo looked Usagi raised the revolver…  
  
… And shot her brother in the back like the spineless devil she was…  
  
Shingo yelped as the bullet blew into and he crumbled over his father's blood.  
  
For once… Usagi didn't cry what so ever…  
  
Outside the house, as the team moved in to arrest Usagi or do whatever she felt they were going to do, there was a final flash from within the upstairs bedroom window that one belonged to Usagi. One last bullet. One last life…  
  
Usagi was finally free. Maybe Mamoru wasn't so insane. He was going to spend the rest of his life with Motoki in death. Mamoru was now happy. So why couldn't Usagi be happy? She made the choice to reunion her entire family. Her mother, father, brother, and herself. Reunite them all in heaven where she could be happen. Mamoru held truth it seemed to her. No point in denying what she didn't have on her previous side. There was nothing there anymore. So she had to cross. Cross to be happy again. This time happy forever.  
  
Tsukino Usagi… dead….  
  
But happy…? We'll never know…  
  
  
  
A year later…  
  
It was only Shingo's fifth time visiting the graves within a year. Headstones marked of his mother, his father, and his sister. Today he had to come. Whenever he felt guilty for being alive and once again able to smile within his new foster family he'd visit the gravesite and just pray.  
  
"Am I going to fast Shi-shi!?" Shingo's foster sister Chibi-Usa asked as she pushed heavily against Shingo's wheelchair toward the graves along the dirt path.  
  
"No it's just fine," he answered. "Here, over to the right."  
  
Little Chibi-Usa went along Shingo's guidance until he alarmed her to stop before his families' gave under a tree where birds were happily singing. The best spot and only his mom could pick such a place. As if she knew that instead of crying she'd found it best for her family to smile under such a place.  
  
Shingo and Chibi-Usa stopped at the graves. Silence.  
  
Now was the time. Chibi-Usa handed Shingo the bag of cheery blossoms and together they prayed as they spread them over his family's grave.  
  
When they stopped Chibi-Usa looked at Shingo and asked: "what does that mean?"  
  
Shingo smiled. "It's sort of like respecting and honoring all the people who died trying to save me and my family's life. And those that didn't die. It's just my way of showing appreciation."  
  
"Oh," the baby-faced girl shrugged her shoulders. She already knew the story. Knew as much as Shingo could tell her at least. Bored and short- attentioned sometimes at that moment Chibi-Usa ran off to chase a butterfly to leave Shingo alone.  
  
"Mom, Dad, Makoto, Motoki, Mamoru, Mina," Shingo whispered in prayer his eyes close and the wind rustling. "And of course Usagi. I hope somewhere you're all happy. And finally there will be no more."  
  
Shingo sighed heavily concluding his short prayer and turned his wheelchair around to deeply appreciate and soak in the fact that once again he was given a second chance. He could never stay and say much because he hated every last one of them…  
  
Most of all…  
  
He hated Papa-Kenji…  
  
  
  
THE END  
  
  
  
Whatever happened to…?  
  
Setsuna – Married with a baby on the way and two adopted children.  
  
Haruka – Haruka finally went back to her parents. To talk. After the news of Usagi's death she knew she had to clear up a LOT of boundaries between them all. Currently she's moving out of her boathouse and preparing to pioneer her on business. Usagi impacted her life greatly for the better.  
  
Ami – Still a doctor but also a part time children's counselor. Usagi's impact told her it was important to reach out farther to children in trouble, so she given it up as a duty of part time work.  
  
Michiru – happily engaged and pulling away from the club completely. She now has an actual REAL job on the way.  
  
Hotaru – owner of the club. After Grandpa Hino was mysterious murdered she took it upon herself to take over the club.  
  
Rei – currently quit the body guarding business and turned to choreographing  
  
If anyone I'm missing let me know.  
  
Anyway, finally I'm finished. So how was it? Could you take the time to tell me? Especially considering it took me forever to finish it because of all the pressures of writing a final chapter. I can NEVER get the final chapter right. But close. So I mean… please e-mail me what you thought of the overall story because like… e-mails are therapeutic after finally finishing a story. Shows people liked it *shrug* hehehehehe and that you did a pleasing job. Unless you're scared eh?  
  
*HEAVY SIGHHHHHHH* 


End file.
